Alright, so as my previous thread said it all, I am depressed and in a HUGE MESS! I dont have the strength to face any of it anymore, and honestly right now I dont even want to. I want to think about it. Well, my father as leaving for London next week to his visit his sister(my popho wants him to spend eid with him) and after that he will be going to pakistan for my cousin’s wedding. My mother doesnt want to leave as my brother is coming from cali to spend eid here and take care of my dad’s work. Thing is, I am offered to go with my dad(WHICH SOUNDS DELIGHTFUL!) or I can spend my winter vacations in cali. Hmmm What do you guys think I should do? Should i stay and resolve my issues? or should I go with my dad, since I never been to london and despereately want to get away from my problems? or should I resolve my problems and then go stay with my brother in winter? I really want to go with my dad, but I feel as if im running away from my problems. Also my bf is going to make a huge issue of me traveling as he doesnt want me to go anywhere far from him, or not till my family agrees to his proposal?
Am I a sore loser who ges herself into trouble and then runs away from her problems? What if the situation with him gets really bad? Oh I dont know. SOS Help Help!
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I asked way to many questions in one thread didnt I? :( my head is going crazy with excitement, fear, and lots of other mixed feelings
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I hate your boyfriend.
Go on both trips go as far away as possible from that creep
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right now, i feel like you're so immature that you might as well just take the trip with your dad and find something else to occupy yourself with so you don't have to think of the douche.
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I hate your boyfriend.
Go on both trips go as far away as possible from that creep
I wish I could go on both :( My dad is not going to spend that much on me to go around the world, and my part-time job barely allows me to pay my phone bill and gas. And I myself realy badly want to go away from him ATM
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right now, i feel like you're so immature that you might as well just take the trip with your dad and find something else to occupy yourself with so you don't have to think of the douche.
unwanted thoughts unwantedly comes at unwanted times, into my unwanted brain, regardless of me occupying myself. But yes I will get some time to have fun, and enjoy since I dont have any friends here anymore. just thinking of socializing is giving me butterflies. :D
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so then go to london.
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i gave up on u sorry
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You are not a “sore loser.” Your boyfriend is. You don’t owe him anything. And he cannot force you or your family to accept his proposal.
I would suggest you end the relationship with him ASAP. If the situation with him really gets bad i.e. if he threatens you or something, call the police. Also get restraining order against him if he continues harassing you.
Meanwhile, move on. Go visit London if you want to do so. Remain positive. You have a long life ahead of you. I am sure you will find someone better than a hypocrite taxi driver. :k:
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Also my bf is going to make a huge issue of me traveling as he doesnt want me to go anywhere far from him, or not till my family agrees to his proposal?
He doesn't want you to go anywhere far from him and yet when you're near him...he controls you then as well. The sad thing is that on one hand you admit that his behavior bothers you and at other times you try to downplay it.
My advice would be that you take a trip...go to England with your dad. Some time apart and a change in scenery will help you sort out your feelings. You don't have to see this as running away from your problems. You can even see this vacation as a part of the problem-solving process.....because it will help you relax and this in turn can help with organizing your thoughts. While on vacation......please don't talk to your boyfriend or email him every hour. I think that would be counterproductive. A person who doesn't respect your need for privacy/peace....doesn't respect you.
Sometimes when you get a way from a person....you realize how much more at peace you are now and how stressed you were when you were so involved with them. Go on the vacation and if that's what you decide to do.......make the most of it cuz it's an expensive trip. You don't want to waste it by talking to your bf every five minutes and putting up with his whining and threats and immature/insecure behavior.
***I remember a cousin once told me that beware the rishta which pressures you to agree for a marriage to happen soon......and beware the rishta that is too wishy-washy. Cuz they are extremes and often times something is up. He's placing a lot of pressure on you and I don't get a good feeling about it. You have the right to go on a vacation and that vacation has NOTHING to do with the issue of marriage so it's senseless for him to prevent you from going. Think about it....there's no connection between the two things. Your boyfriend has his issues...but your own low self-esteem is part of the problem. If you had more respect for yourself....you'd want a guy who respects you at all times.....not a guy who pressures you to have sex, treats you like crap after you give in, and then pressures you to stay near him. If it's the "attention" that you want, you could wait to get it from a guy who will treat you better. Go on that vacation and clear your head....it may make you realize what you've been missing all this while.
Ditch the Boyf, seek counselling, spend time with your bro - Cali over UK any day of the week!
Take up some hobbies such as sport, surfing whatever get out the rut you are in now - why a PT job and not a FT?
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Redvelvet, I don’t know what GS would do with you. Your advice is really second to none. (Sorry everybody else). :halo:
Sumsum, your young and have so much going for you. Seriously, listen to everyone on here, ditch him ASAP. Why do you want someone who doesn’t trust you? He’s a control freak, and we can all see that from your posts - one minute he’s a dork, and the next he’s an ok guy - your situation is almost like domestic abuse.
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sumsum190: you are 20 years old, and are not mature enough. things which makes you loyal with him are stupid reasons and thoughts.
i would suggest you to leave him, yes it is painful for a week for you. but you will have good life after that.
follow these steps
- go on vacation with your dad to london.
- cut all ties with your bf.
- if you dont have friends and really want to socialize with people, then just go mosque you can make new friends. now a days, you can see new faces in mosque because of ramadan.
i hope, your problem will solve. inshaAllah
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Do not listen to your boy friend. Tell him you need to go to get some fresh air. Go to London or Cali, whichever place you like. During your vacation/break, do not contact the person at all. Swtich off your mobile and get a new temp number, so your family can contact you.
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Get away from him...
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Come over to London Hun... I will take you out and may be introduce to some other guy? Honestly, wats done with the cabby bf of urz can't b changed... Hurt him now nd get rid of him! There is always behtari in Allahs decisions xxx
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I wonder why he hasnt asked her a 2nd time or maybe the one time was enough for him for a life time.
freak alert
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this trip with your dad should be a blessing in disguise for you IA. You really need to get away from him. Have a vacation. That would help your mind to open up and realise what an awful lot of things you are missing.
At the same time you would realise the importance of having a sane and good family which obviously your boyfriend's isn't (as you have already told us)
This rishta isn't even finalised or agreed upon at all. Can you imagine yourself being stuck with an overpossessive driving husband and such a weird family for the rest of your life?
Just go to London and then think about the whole situation and get rid of the guy before it's too late .