My mom .. is obviously an adult, so why she is so careless about her health is beyond me. She has diabetes, because of my last miscarriage the stress level is out of control so she was finally put on insulin. Mommy is fighting it in everyway possible. Her eating habits suck! She eats to little and her stomach blows up as a result of mal-nutirition. So she eats even less to get rid of the weight.
I’ve tried numerous times to put her on a diet plan that her dr. perscribed, make her drink her milk. I’ve black mailed her and done everything I can but she puts in a half ars effort.
While in Pakistan, her sister had her in check and mom is much healthier now. But she wont listen to me.
Do you guys have any suggestions? How do you get an adult to listen.
THe thing is you cant get anyone to do anything unless they truly want to. Support them in anything they try. However, how does eating lil make ur tummy get big? :(
u should make her feel like shez really pretty instead of pointing out flaws. point out her good features in subtle ways now and then. most women who let themselves go becuz they got involved in their family at some point start to think that they are hopeless cases and that no matter what they do there is no turning back and it wont make a difference. When i was younger the only think i noticed about my mom was that she needed to lose some weight and eat healthy but later on i saw her real beauty, untainted by makeup or dyes or pretensions. I made it a point to tell her that she is soooo beautiful...and sometimes even subtly point out that if she lost a bit of weight she would look much prettier than xyz woman........she has lost alot of weight and joined a gym back in pak and me and bro make it a point to let her know how hot she looks lol...also her husband should support her in everyway and appreciate and notice every effort she makes.
I thnk you guys are all missing the point here. Im not worried about how she looks.. rather her diabetes and health. Her diet is very important to her because she is a diabetic.
The hell with how she looks.. shes my mother people.. she’ll always be perfect to me.
How do I get her to take her medicine and eat right so she can live a long and prosperous life.
My Mum is the same way…she has several health problems that i only recently found out about, she was trying to hide them from everyone :(…so anyway for a few weeks she wudn’t even agree to go and get tested for stuff she needed (this was even after she had been hospitalised for 5 days) and i was getting really upset with her…i told her, how can u do this to urself?..and ok if u dont care about urself, how can u do this to ur children, u have a young son! and she was just quiet and i cud see i was getting thru to her a little…but then she told me it’s not fair cos her mother died from similar problems and she didn’t get any chances and she was in so much pain…then my brother and i explained to her that, things are different today, there is better technology which allows early detection and so on…so finally she has decided that after Ramadan she will go back to England and get all the treatments she needs, thank God :)…
Diabetes is a serious disease, my future Mother-in-law suffered a stroke because of it and later had to have one of her legs amputated, and she has spent months and months on end in hospitals…ur Mum needs to be extremely careful about her health…my suggestion wud be to tell her how u really feel and how much it breaks ur heart to see her in pain or in poor health…but try to be sensitive to her, cos there might be an underlying, emotional reason why she feels she doesn’t need to care for herself, like with my Mum and her guilt towards my Nani…
Good luck and i pray ur Mum regains her health very soon Inshallah, and that Allah gives u the strength to help her, Ameen…
my mum alhamdulillah is very good about keeping her diabetes in check. But I do have other relatives who are not and they have suffered majorly because of it. I cannot help you at all because I run into the same problem with my aunts, uncles who just won't let go of their sugar and watch their diet. sigh..
^ Yeah, it's hard as ur parents get older...i'm the eldest and my parents' health just started getting bad this year so i am kinda new at trying to give them lectures, instead of the other way around haha! But i think it helps to talk to others who have been taking care of a sick parent for some time as they can at least tell u wot to expect...my Mum's attitude is just..."ohh, this just happens as u get older"...which i hate cos she tends to be so negative and talks about dying :( (like a lot of older desi mothers) unlike my Dad, he is more practical and plans how we will do whose treatment first, and so on...so i guess keep trying to talk to her...that's all u can do rite :)
Ya by the time you realize you need to "train you parents" (as you put it) - its too late. They are too old to change!
My mom has this allergic reaction for days now and apparently my bro and dad were unable to make her goto doctor (we live in Canada! its free health care). She has no time! she doesn't work - freakin household work can stay.
I think dad finally convinced her and took to drs.
I have a question, which sort of goes under this topic so i thought i'd just add it here instead of opening another thread...hope u don't mind Muniya :)
How do u cope with a really sick parent (about late 50s) who has started to act childish? I mean for someone who works seven days a week and takes care of two very ill parents, it is A LOT of work...on top of that, one of them argues with u about every little thing and always wants his/her way. Their behaviour is turning into that of a little kid! So u don't want to upset them, but some things r just bad for them or they r just demanding too much of u...how do u get them to back off?
Btw, how is ur mum now Muniya? Did it help talking to her, or is she the same way?
Mum is getting a little better.. I gotten good at her own game.
I play the you dont love us and thats why you want to unhealthy.
If you cared for us you would know how much we need to see you healthy and walking around and yelling at us.
Totally worked! She now takes all her vitamins, goes to get tested regularly, and is actually feeling more energentic.
You should try that too.. show you sick parent how its hurting you that they dont take care of themselves.
I think you took exactly the right approach. When you're a "Mom", it becomes second nature that YOUR needs come last. First is children. NExt is hubby, then house and home. Whatever is left (usually not much!) is for YOU. So if you make her understand that HER needs are important so that she can continue to be "the Mom", she will make much more of an effort. Keep reminding her that if she ignores her health then she will be unable to continue being "the Mom", that it will fall to someone else to care for her and hers....tough love approach kind of! Its just that approach that got ME off my butt. I was 4 years overdue for a routine physical, 2 years overdue for my post-natal checkup and had breast lumps - all of which I was happily ignoring until my parents told me that if I let things go so long, my boys could end up without a mommy - all due to my neglect of myself. It made me feel selfish and foolish so off I went.
At the moment, my question is concerning taking care of ur own self, whilst taking care of ur sick parents. Sometimes it’s really hard to do so. Some ppl who work hard all day then come home to parents who always want u to sit with them, or won’t let u go to ur room to sleep, or who want u to get up and tidy (just when ur trying to relax)…i mean i know they r feeling down and just want to spend time with u…but how do u nicely tell them that u need some space and time alone (even if it’s just to go to ur room)…sometimes it’s so demanding that u need time away from them, not including when ur at work…so how can u get that message across without being rude or seemingly uncaring…any ideas anyone?
@ the hell with how she looks…
