You know, we guys are human too. If she treats him with love there is 99.9% chance guy wont leave her. Unless guy is complete ---------- , you know
aaaaaawww..dun worry we know guys r human 2! :)
SIL got married a few days ago. She didnt tell us that. She didnt bother to inform us before getting married and sharing such a big news!! After her nikkah she wasnt bothered to pick up the phone when hubby called like a million times but she sent a text message that she was too busy to talk!!
Hubby and I have both been very upset. I came to the conclusion that I dont want to be part of SIL's life anymore. I dont want to meet her unecessarily or talk to her. I will keep a distance and only interact when I have to. When she doesnt find me trustworthy enough to share this news with me when I have always tried to be there for her and help her despite her rudeness!!
Hubby will though still be supporting her as he says that she seems happy after very very long time so he doesnt want to ruin that for her despite his dissapointment and feeling hurt. Now i really dont want to hurt my hubby and ruin my own relationship but I really cant see myself being with SIL anymore. I just cant take her anymore and have no clue on how to move on with SIL when hubby wants to show her that he is happy cuz of her happiness but dissappointed cuz of her getting married without telling him/us.
She didnt even tell her mum. I mean, what can i expect from a person who treats her mother like that!!
Re: Traditional?
Your initial questions seemed to be about the impropriety of her taking the rishta process into her own hands, and I think that that is not a real concern. We overcomplicate the whole "arranged marriage" thing by having a million different people as go betweens. She's a mature adult. You can advise her, but there is nothing "wrong" with speaking directly to potential rishtas.
In the middle you seem to switch to being worried that she is being taken advantage of. That is a legitimate concern, but it honestly doesn't seem to be the main thing that's bothering you. By the end here, you seem to make it about the fact that she left you out of this process and how hurt you are about it. It's not about being traditional or not. It's about you feeling troubled by your relationship (or lack of relationship) with your SIL.
But from this last move, it seems to me that she has gone through a hard time where he didn't feel like she could open up to or trust any of her family members, even her own brother and mother, about this rishta. I would be more concerned about what she was afraid would happen, rather than whether or not she is behaving properly.
Re: Traditional?
Chameli i really don't mean to be harsh...but as far as i know you have been complaining about your nand for about two years now. I understand that you had certain expectations about what your relationship with her would be after marriage and the fact that those expectations are not fulfilled is surely very disappointing. and i know you feel u've tried ur best.. but at some point you have to realize that if this behaviour is happening over and over again... you shouldn't take her actions so personally...