Men: would you NOT want to go out and make a living for your wife and children and be responsible for providing food and shelter for the family?
Despite how enlightened and advanced we are as a society and how blurry traditional roles have become, I personally hold with the traditional division of labour, albeit with compromises on both sides and each partner helping the other out where and how needed. Does that make me backwards or too traditional?
It doesn't make you backward. It's how I feel too, but obviously would depend on the couple and what state of financial situation they are in. They may both need to work initially. I think a stay at home Dad in Pakistan is pretty much unheard of because *Izzat ki bath ho jatee hay *Silly I know.
then there is nature. You have to work around it, to work around it :)
By nature women are soft and gentle and are more suited to take care of babies, homes etc. Now before you girls stone me to death, I am not saying women should not go out and work or something, I am just telling you that its in nature of women. For women to go out and work like men in every field, they have to force themselves.
Similarly, its in the nature of men to go out and fish food for family and here too I am not saying that men should not help in house work. I personally love to take on daily-household tasks from cooking to taking care of babies but I have to force myself to do it while going out and earning comes naturally.
btw, whatever I have said is true for all cultures including goras !!!
I would totally allow my wife to go out, make a living, bring home the bacon, etc... in addition to cooking, cleaning, making a home, etc. we have to be more open-minded.
I would totally allow my wife to go out, make a living, bring home the bacon, etc... in addition to cooking, cleaning, making a home, etc. we have to be more open-minded.
Your opinion doesn't count either! BTW, how's the search for the sugar-mama coming along? And the bacon better be halal turkey bacon...
if both work, household duties are split down the middle. if only one works then its only fair for the other to handle the domestic duties. Its really quite simple.....don't know why people make it so complicated.
if both work, household duties are split down the middle. if only one works then its only fair for the other to handle the domestic duties. Its really quite simple.....don't know why people make it so complicated.
For example: Life can be easy and less complicated if some specific roles are played based on gender.
I am not talking about discrimination by any means. And no it is not backward thinking. It is accepting the nature.
I can understand that. But the problem begins where people make that general ability to do something well, into a specific gender's task. Just because most people can do something well, does not mean everyone would be able to or want to do it too. It becomes a problem when it is forced on people against their will.
then there is nature. You have to work around it, to work around it :)
By nature women are soft and gentle and are more suited to take care of babies, homes etc. Now before you girls stone me to death, I am not saying women should not go out and work or something, I am just telling you that its in nature of women. For women to go out and work like men in every field, they have to force themselves.
Similarly, its in the nature of men to go out and fish food for family and here too I am not saying that men should not help in house work. I personally love to take on daily-household tasks from cooking to taking care of babies but I have to force myself to do it while going out and earning comes naturally.
btw, whatever I have said is true for all cultures including goras !!!
It's not in women's "nature" to be at home. it's roles that societies prefer whether its desis or goras but to say that its in the "nature" is completely ridiculous. If a girl was raised thinking she has to earn and be the breadwinner, thats how she would grow up to be and i personally even know some women who would not give up their jobs no matter what and for them it comes naturally and they are not forcing themselves as you mentioned. These gender roles are assigned to us by our culture, elders and society so thats what we do. we have all seen women who are very career oriented and for them career comes first and so many men who dont really care to work but live off their wives or even parents. for them it comes naturally to sit at home and not earn for their families
^ completely agree with missty and curious lady... Yeh I get it most women probably do have nurturing natures and like to take care of their family and cook and clean etc but not all women have that in their nature. And the problem comes in when those women get defined as bad wives or bad women because they don't fit the societal norms, which fair enough are based on a general population but there is probably a significant population who by nature don't fit into the traditional gender roles.
Each person should be judged on their own merits not based on what society dictates should be the case. Every person is different and while biologically women and men have specific qualities to perform different roles it does not mean that everyone is born with those specific ones. For example when a father is great with his kids and spends a lot of time and effort with them people constantly praise him are awed by him even though I've seen several fathers who are good fathers but maybe not as involved but that's just considered the norm. On the flip side if a woman is maybe not as adept at household chores and parenting but is maybe the CEO of pepsico she will generally not get the same kind of admiration for her achievements because traditionally that's not what's expected of her.
Gender roles can be used as general rule for a population but when they're used as a basis for defining all individuals that becomes unfair.
I dont mind doing the household chores besides working full-time.... what makes me mad is when hubby dear comes home, takes off his socks, throws them on the sofa in the living room, pulls off his shoes on the carpet and throws them in front of the ottoman, after eating dinner leaves his plate on the dining table even though he knows I'm busy giving my daughter a bath and then putting her to bed and then makes a mess in the living room eating peanuts, drinks his tea then leaves the mug on the coffee table (even when he actually went to the sink to have a cup of water)...... leaving it all for me to clean up.
Why oh why do the husbands increase our workload :(
And don't even get me started on the state of his closet.
I'm not at all an advocate of reversing the roles, however, do not make us dread those household chores soooo much that we end up not wanting to do them at all.
[QUOTE]
I dont mind doing the household chores besides working full-time.... what makes me mad is when hubby dear comes home, takes off his socks, throws them on the sofa in the living room, pulls off his shoes on the carpet and throws them in front of the ottoman, after eating dinner leaves his plate on the dining table even though he knows I'm busy giving my daughter a bath and then putting her to bed and then makes a mess in the living room eating peanuts, drinks his tea then leaves the mug on the coffee table (even when he actually went to the sink to have a cup of water)...... leaving it all for me to clean up.
Why oh why do the husbands increase our workload :(
And don't even get me started on the state of his closet.
I'm not at all an advocate of reversing the roles, however, do not make us dread those household chores soooo much that we end up not wanting to do them at all.
[/QUOTE]
kush reh to nhi giyaa :D
Wont u knw ... he is the Prince n to b a prince u wont need to do anything ...As prince , Is to own n use al perks n privallages available to u ,Leave the parsley on your plate ,And be charming but detached And yet amused,Is to never be confused , Don't ever stray from protocol, m You must behave, Do keep a grip and never crack Stiff upper lip and arch the back ,Bend from above n
Shoulders back and Tummy in and Pinky out and Lift the chin and Slowly turn the head from side to side, Speak and be clever Never at a loss for words Curtsy to every count and lord .. bla bla bla more
I can understand that. But the problem begins where people make that general ability to do something well, into a specific gender's task. Just because most people can do something well, does not mean everyone would be able to or want to do it too. It becomes a problem when it is forced on people against their will.
Yes. Agreed. Forcing is not good in general.
But it may be needed if one person tries to neglect the primary responsibility altogether.
There was a divine reason for having two genders instead of one. God intended different, each no less important, roles for both.
Correction, he invented sex, and for there to be the conduction of sex, you need two partners to tango. That's it. We get to have sex. Well, the more fortunate ones. People like me are meant to be celibate for the rest of our lives because people like me keep falling in love with Jewish doctors.
