I agree with Fret.. :k: A firm handshake can lead to a job.
Afia, you know it is different at an interview, especially when you really need a job. Jab interviewer haath barhaade to phir kese refuse karsakte haiN use..? It would be cosidered rude and a person can lose a job this way. I would refuse to shake hands with anyone else but I know have seen many cases where people lost a job for not shaking hands so I wouldn’t refuse…I’m sure you haven’t been in a position like that otherwise you wouldn’t say that you would never shake hands with a Non-Mahram.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Afia: *
as believers we believe nothing can happen without the will of Allah
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Now does that apply to good and bad? Don't you think people have a certain amount of responsibility as well for their actions? I guess this is a different topic all together, but if everything that happens is of Allah's will, then that must include rape, murder, suicide, etc as well right? If the answer is yes, then how can the perpetrators of crimes be responsible if it was Allah's will for a rape or murder to be committed?
i wouldn't insist if its an extreme or not ....as something thats an extreme for one may not be a big deal for someone else
i just explained my opinion ....n what i've learnt so far through experience
fret .....i perfectly understand what you are saying and i think you are quite a mature person to understand my point .....there is too much difference in just losing faith coz u fear for a loss n committing a crime you r clearly forbidden for
anyway ...to each his own .....you are free to choose your way ...:)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Afia: *
i wouldn't insist if its an extreme or not ....as something thats an extreme for one may not be a big deal for someone else
i just explained my opinion ....n what i've learnt so far through experience
fret .....i perfectly understand what you are saying and i think you are quite a mature person to understand my point .....there is too much difference in just losing faith coz u fear for a loss n committing a crime you r clearly forbidden for
anyway ...to each his own .....you are free to choose your way ...:)
[/QUOTE]
'amaal ka daro-madaar neeyat par hai'..:)
clearly forbidden? isn't haraam a big word? and I thought haraam and halal things are clearly mentioned in Quran and I'm sure no where in Quran it says "hand-shaking is haraam"...
You know sometimes we are the ones who make others hate our religion and then we are labeled as 'narrow-minded'...and it's true about most of us!
Currupt Angel ...you just misunderstood it ...probably i wasn't clear enough :)
actually i was refering to fret's examples of rape etc. when i said crimes we r clearly forbidden for :)
anyway its not a big issue for me ...may be you better understand it :)
but one thing i would like to say ....sometimes we find ourselves in a difficult position ...n we feel its too hard to act upon certain things with regard to religion ....its absolutely fine to feel that way ....
but the next step should be at least praying to Almighty to seek n ask for His help that He make us strong enough to act upon this ....n sure if we sincerely pray for that , there is nothing impossible for our Lord to do ...:)
no one of us is strong enough ....we all are too weak n without His mercy we can do nothing ...but we should seek His help whenever there is a difficulty
i'm not referring particularly to hand shakes.....just babbled what i thought :)
Uff..Sorry I misunderstood both of you completely...Maybe I'm still sleepy, lemme drink a cup of tea first then come back...:o
ps.
I don't feel good at all when I have to do things that aren't in our culture including when I have to make an eye-contact with someone...It doesn't feel so good to me you know...
from what i remember, i believe the Quran says that we are to behave in a "professional and business like manner" with the opposite sex.
so think about how you relate to your boss or your teacher...thats how you are supposed to be.
I have no references currently...but just what i remember.
it is very difficult to not shake hands with ppl...i used to be very strict about it and use to state it plainly on job interviews that i dont shake hands...but its when i started working that i slowly began to shake hands with the opposite sex...i felt it was really wrong in the beginning...but didnt see a way out of it in my profession...ppl get offended.
but i do work with someone who is an orthodox jewish male, he does not shake hands with women...i see him and think how great it is that he can do that but now that i have been working with these ppl for 2 yrs cant just get up tomorrow and stop shaking hands with them.
but i know it can be done...definitely NOT easy...but if this orthodox jewish man can do it and get to his level of position, then we can all do it without a second thought!
just my opinion...i'm personally working on it slowly for myself.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Afia: *
fret .....i perfectly understand what you are saying and i think you are quite a mature person to understand my point .....there is too much difference in just losing faith coz u fear for a loss n committing a crime you r clearly forbidden for
[/QUOTE]
Afia, I'm not talking about losing faith. I'm trying to make a point based on the statement "Nothing can be done without Allah's will". If that is the case, then good AND bad are done by Allah's will, including rape and murder. Why would the perpetrators of rape and murder need to be punished if it was Allah's will for these things to happen? Why are things forbidden if everything happens by Allah's will?
I admit that I have shaken hands for my job interviews simply because I felt that my intention was not bad. Most of my jobs were customer service oriented. So I thought if I say: "Sorry, I don't shake hands", that would be the same as saying: I don't fit into this job.
They usually want friendly and active people for such jobs and if I'm too conservitive to shake hands even, maybe I applied for the wrong position.
I just don't think a professional handshake can be considered "haraam".
But I also admit I didn't feel comfortable with the handshake either :)
I guess I'm just confused and need some guidance in this matter.
So far both sides of the arguement have been pretty good :)
