this one is going to hurt
Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy
marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by
taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as
the beneficiary, and arranging to have her killed.
A “friend of a friend” put him in touch with a nefarious
underworld figure who went by the name of “Artie.” Artie
explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a
spouse was $5,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that
he wouldn’t have any cash on hand until he could collect his
wife’s insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid something
up front.
The man opened up his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill
that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly
agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty
deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man’s wife to the local
Ralph’s grocery store. There, he surprised her in the produce
department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved
hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath
and slumped to the floor the manager of the produce
department stumbled onto the scene. Unwilling to leave any
witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the
produce manager as well.
Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by
hidden camera and observed by the store’s security guard,
who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and
arrested before he could leave the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed
the sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the
hapless husband. And that is why, the next day in the
newspaper, the headline declared: “Artie Chokes Two for a
Dollar at Ralph’s Market”.