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Every couple of minutes, he yells “I call Jack Daniels to the stand!” and proceeds to drink a shot.
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Calls recess and asks “Got any ideas, genius?”
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Answers all objections with “whatever”
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Frequently gives juror number 4 the finger
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Places large “no refunds” sign on defense table.
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Begins every sentence with “Well, as Ally McBeal once said…”
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He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla vs. Mothra.
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Just before your trial starts he whispers, “The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?”
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He thinks he’ll win your case, “because there’s a first time for everything”
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He starts off his opening with, “anyone got a light?”
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Whenever he says, “Your Honor” he makes those little quotation marks in the air.
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Sign in front of law office reads “Practicing Law Since 2:45”
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Begins by telling jury, “You all look like you should be on Jerry Springer”
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Giggles every time he hears the word “briefs”
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His phone number: 1-900-SHYSTER
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He introduces you to his law partners, Jim Beam and Johnny Walker.
Jeenius iZ in the MiNd
… but i’m insane in the braiN