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“Can’t get premium channels in the cave, only basic cable”
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“New laundry guy using too much starch on my turbans”
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“I wash and wash and wash, but at the end of the day I still smell like a camel”
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“You try to remember four wedding anniversaries”
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“Itchy beard”
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“With Giambi, the Yankees are going to win another four damn World Series!”
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“You just can’t trust those unfaithful Pashtun tribesmen, am I right, people?”
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“MTV never plays videos anymore”
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“Mullah Omar answers the phone, ‘Yello’”
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“What the hell do I have to do to get on ‘Oprah’?”
-From a David Letterman top 10-