Too much calling?

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: Too much calling?

Man that sounds rough. I'll keep that in mind from henceforth.
I dont know how to fix the problem, but I think at this stage maybe more communication is the answer. Like talk it over like mature adults and clear up all issues.
InshAllah all turns out for the best brother.

22

Re: Too much calling?

I actually kind of agree with this. Desi parents tend to be VERY controlling. Its ok to do that stuff when your kids are 8-16 even 17 but not when theyre into thier freakin late 20s/early 30s. Theres a fine line between caring and straight up interfering.

23

Re: Too much calling?

Too much of anything is not good even if its medicine.

:chai:

24

Re: Too much calling?

Agree..

25

Re: Too much calling?

Aww.. that's so sweet!!*

26

Re: Too much calling?

Haven't you ever heard of engagements being broken?

Yes, you're engaged to be married....but not actually married. No one ever thinks their engagement will break....but it happens. From the girl's mother's point of view....she probably doesn't want her daughter becoming too emotionally attached OR share too much personal information with you....just in case something drastically goes wrong between now and the actually wedding day.

27

Re: Too much calling?

Sounds fair I suppose. Its a defence mechanism. Almost like an insurance policy that hey if things go pear shaped atleast he didnt know about xyz and our daughter didnt feel 123 about him.

28

er. :(

29

Re: Too much calling?

It all depends on the dynamic of your relationship. Some people like more communication and some don't. You should be the best judge of that given that it's YOUR relationship.

30

Re: Too much calling?

First decide she is wife or fiance?

31

Re: Too much calling?

And since one is thousands of miles away, there is no makeup sex involved after a fight. I’d say it is a lose-lose situation.

32

^ LOL

33

Re: Too much calling?

I completely understand what you are saying. At times parents go overboard and tend to expect complete and utter obedience for the sake of it. It’s difficult to relenquish control for some parents. Sometimes they fail to recognise that their children are grown adults whose opinion should also be taken into consideration. But then again, it is out of love, albeit a strangling sort of love at this point when all affairs are being meddled with and sharia limits are being crossed in leiu of cultural and society’s limits.

DD I’m sure ninja hattori was talking about how dogs are supposed to blindly obey every command. It happens.

Agreed.

haha..PCG you are brilliant.

I don’t think that you can forgo the experience of your parents. Parents are always going to want what is best for their kids.

I believe it is never too late to undo damage. I think what you need to begin doing is tampering off the amount of talk per call, and then slowly begin lessening the frequency of calls. Revert to text messaging instead multiple times a day keeping it short and sweet and saying things which cannot possibly get miscontrued , ie “love you” “hope you are doing well today” “thinking of you” etc. Sweet nothings basically. It’ll be a slow and gradual process but think of it as suctioning out whatever poison has seeped into the relationship.

34

Re: Too much calling?

He said "wife to be" in the same post you've quoted Icono. And later he called **wife to be **a fiancee.
There is no misconception, what is confusing you?

35

Re: Too much calling?

Very good point raised here coughcough. There is a difference between a long distance engagement, a long distance nikah and a long distance marriage.

All three can be potentially ruined by long distance relationship since long distance is notoriously difficult to manage.
And until there is at least a nikah or a marriage, I don't think elders will be very comfortable with the concept of talking. Even then they might have slight issues because words can be mistaken in long distance.