Vindicated! HA! I feel so proud. The man aint a jerk...he is just stupid (no offence).
But its nice to see how women are so quick to judge a man of doing wrong, when in more than 60% of the case its the women who are the cause of the problems. A general statement with regard to women and relationships. You break it off = you are a ****. She breaks it off = you are still a ****. There is no way around it.
Man personal opinion. Family comes first. Forget the broad. She said no. Didnt give a damn for your feelings then and now she wants you back. She is wrecking your life and you are willingly doing it for some broad.
I will break it down nice and simple.
**** the broad.
Beg your fiancee to take you back.
I hope your fiance seriously puts you through a great deal of mental and psychological anguish for your dumbass prioritization of some broad over the family.
To quote The God Father "A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man."
chodhry brother, i dont really know what to say, i have some opinions about this situation and who seems to be at fault but being a third person who doesnt really know k KIS K DIL MEIN KYA THA i dont want to point any fingers.
i just wish inshallah that you feel better soon. you, your fiancee and the other girl all get over the shocks. you live happilly with the one who Allah has written for you in your kismat and have a happy married life.
may Allah show you the correct path inshallah and make things easier for you brother
It is very easy to fall for somebody when it is kept strictly to chatting online. However, you must realise that what a person is like online and how they are in real life is usually two different things.
Your connection with this girl has been limited exclusively to online communication. There was no phone communication or any face-to-face communication. For you to be willing to end your engagement with a girl you actually spent time with and really got to know as opposed to somebody you don't really know, who you have a built up fantasy for, well, it's a bit extreme.
It is very easy to build up a dream of what a person is like when your interaction with them is restricted to internet only. The fact is, although you have been speaking to her for 3 years, you don't really know her. You feel close to her cause you have confided in her, but that's where it ended. She didn't want to see you in real life. To me, that speaks volumes.
Let her go and try and get over it. It would be in your best interest to keep her blocked from your MSN.
I am speechless. I can understand your feelings. Why don’t you do Istikhara? I think you should go for it and then leave everything on Allah. May Allah show you the right path and give everything you want in your life.
well in his defence.. sometimes ppl cant help fallin in love.. even if its for 2 sec n no matter the consequence.. i guss sometimes.. it just cant be helped.. but dont blame her.. she has far moore to deal with cpmpared to u...
**A) Reduce the number of love/romantic
movies you watch
B) Stop chatting. Unless they are family or friends from
in person, don't chat with strangers.
Overall analysis of your situation brings about the
conclusion that you proposed to a girl you knew nada
about. Proposing to someone you are attracted to because
of their words is very different from proposing to someone
after getting to know them in person. The later is a much
realistic approach and the only one which works.
Error #1 in judgement.
You were so into the chick that according to yourself you proposed
to her immediately and when she refused
within a week you were engaged to someone else.
Decisions of marriage are never to be made while
riding an emotional roller coaster. Who gave you the
right to play with the emotions of your fiancee?
Next, after you had committed to
someone you shouldn't have been speaking with anyone
else of the same gender, no matter how much they begged
you to take them back (which is what she did when
she emailed you and said that she double thought about
her prior decision). In many cultures that would amount
to cheating on your fiancee. Error #2 in judgement.
Third matter of business, every guy should
have enough self respect to not want to meet a person
or pursue them when that person (in this case your
chatter friend) make it clear that they don't
want to meet you, or want you to hurt someone else dear to
you (your fiancee) when that person (your fiancee) had done
nothing to hurt this girl (the chatter). She would only
meet you in person if you broke off your engagement
with your fiancee, which would be exactly what I was
talking about above. Speaks volume about her character.
Error # 3 in judgement.
The way I see it, it shouldn't be your decision from this
point on. Your fiancee should break off the engagement
with you because she has false admiration of a person
who's picked up relationship baggage else where AFTER
making a committment of a lifetime with her. She needs
to send you to the curb and start her life with someone
else who'll be more sincere to her the second time around. **
Aik to hamaray nawjawaanoN ko hur chaar minute baad kisi say muhabbat ho jati, they fall in love at the drop of a hat. Girl smiles at you and you fall in love with her, girl says hello, you fall in love. Really kind of pathetic, no?
as soneone pointed out already you made certain critical mistakes in made bad choices, you should be mindful of that and learn from this.
from what you have stated, things about this other woman do not seem to add up. The fact that you got stood up etc etc. Do not think twice about her and move on,..and be glad that you moved on because it does not appear she is serious..really.
next your fiancee, you committed, and it appears that she kept her end of the bargain, while you did not.
I suggest that you take a break from aashiqi maashiqi, clear your head, get over this other woman and then continue with your life, with your fiancee. btw dont forget to get her to forgive you, and to make her understand that it was an error in judgement and you have learnt from it and are now 100% committed.
lastly..learn from this, look at your actions. maybe you need to be a little bit more careful about trustting people, or getting close or attached to people. Or you just have to be more thorough in making decisions in your life and involve logic more and not crowd it out just by using emotions.
This is not the end, if you handle this properly, years from now you will look back and thank that you moved on.
Well, thanks every body for your prayers. I guess life goes on. sooner or later evryone will forget most of it. (Apna chaar din ka saath tha! - my signature)
Fraudi, some times u just cant help yourself.
Deviliciousss, I am not blaming her at all. just was little frustrated about the fact that she dnever tend to risk anything for me. anyways!
Aalhan, thanks for your advice. she does not want to break it. and its her own decision to be with me.
PS: just wanted to share that two days before, I started offering prayers agian after a long time. and i feel so relaxed. jeisey apna boojh utaar diya ho, just by the fact key Allah ki merzi sey hi hotahay sab kuch. He might wanted me and everybody else to learn some thing.
