Sasha21
October 18, 2013, 4:00am
12
Re: To the Guys: Question
I’d want to look at both sides and neither would I be ok with my wife saying offensive things about my mother or my mother doing the same to my wife. Constructive criticism said in a loving way for someone’s benefit is one thing but abusive words is another. That I won’t accept. Not married yet but so far my parents get along with my future spouse. Even though they are in some ways conservative and she has been engaged before. Our friendship is older than her marriage and my parents have known her for a long time so they know her.
If my mom was to say something negative and non constructive about my wife I would tell her that me and the wife are a team. If you say something negative that way about her you are also hurting me and our team. I would remind her of her positive qualities. Then I would say parent’s blessings are important for a marriage to go well and I hope she would see past whatever the issue is from our point of view and continue giving us her blessings. Also, my parents will live with my older brother after marriage and stay occasionally at my place so it won’t be a joint setup.
I draw the line at hurtful criticism, offensive comments about her past and unnecessary meddling over small issues. Luckily, nothing of the sort has happened. Only issue that arose was her past when she was younger she had been married to this guy who was not right for her. I told my parents that I did not want to discuss her past and they know i’ve been friends with her since before she got married. They worried what people would think. I told them if I don’t mind then why should they. Isn’t it better that I like someone I am compatible with then a picture perfect rishta? Life is messy. It’s not black and white. They understood and I had rejected plenty of the conservative rishtas they had sent for me because of incompatibility. They were happy I had finally accepted someone.
Omg what if the single girls on GS read this. We’re going to be back on the drawing board with that whole deal about why don’t the divorced ppl stick to their (diseased) kind.