A man applies for a job as mechanic. The boss says, “Can you roll your hard hat down your arm and pop it back on your head?”
The mechanic nods, confused.
“Can you play lightsaber with your wrench and another man’s screwdriver?”
“Oh yes,” says the mechanic.
“Can you bounce your screwdriver off the cement, grab it, whirl it around and put it in your belt like a gun?”
“Sir, I’ve been doing that for years!” says the wanna-be mechanic.
“Well in that case, I can’t use you. I have 12 men doing that already!” says the boss.
A Mechanic spots a smoking hot chick come his way one day, she needed her car fixing up a little and the man could not help but notice the condition of the car and the girl… tight shorts, crop top… the lot.
“Waz your daddy a mechanic?” he asks
“Why no” she giggles “why d’you ask?”
“Coz you sure have a well tuned body” he says.
What does a lesbian have in common with a top mechanic…?
The both use snap on tools 
The helicopter lost power while flying over a remote Scottish island and was forced to make an emergency landing. Luckily there was a small cottage nearby. The pilot walked over to it and knocked on the door. “Is there a mechanic in the area?” he asked the woman who answered the door.
She scratched her head and thought for a few seconds. “No,” she finally said, pointing down the road, “but we do have a McArdle and a McKay.”
**An auto mechanic received a repair order that read: “Check for
clunking sound when going around corners.”
Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a
moment later he heard a ‘clunk’.
He then made a left turn and again heard a ‘clunk’.
Back at the shop he opened the car’s trunk, and soon
discovered the problem.
Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager
with the notation, “Removed bowling ball from trunk”.
**
**Hope you all liked em… 
