If a very close beloved relative/friend does/say something to give you the worst mental torture in your life, due to a misunderstanding and you know that it was never your fault. After this if that person doesn’t want to continue any kind of communication with you.
Would you keep initiating to revive your relation with that person by clearing your intentions to him/her ?
or
Would you leave the person because you feel that the person should have given you atleast a chance of explaining yourself instead of misjudging you ?
firstly you should think what made him/her say the most turtuous things to you or made you suffer that much . if it was your fault then nothing much left :)
and yes if you think it's appropriate to keep up then go ahead
excellent point - you get to the heart of it.
but, some steps have to be taken by only the person who knows that s/he wronged.
may Allah make us realize that the ones we find in this life, are not worth losing.
severing all communication due to anger or complexes and prior life experiences, is counter productive to a happy and strong bonding relationship.
and shopping around is not nice.
i tell you an example.
when you are hoping someone calls, and all of a sudden s/he does, that is so pure it is no coincidence.
when someone actually says to you that - why did we not meet before...
we must get together soon, and complete each other
& then, this person vanishes. that is so wrong.
saving a relationship is not an experiment in a lab setting.
will of God, parents' resentments, even pesonal doubts must be clarified and explained to make a fair decision and not one based on personal assumptions and second guessing or blaming the one who is being betrayed.
i dont speak from my experience, as then it will be not objective.
but i do speak from a perspective of then what is true love?
it must be nothing then.
so to answer your query - true heart and mind and a strong character with conscientiious spirits will return and own up to their part of the mistakes. and honestly try to bring the one they betrayed on good terms.
that proof will have to come from the betrayer, only.
& delays are always a last nail in the coffin.
clarity of intention is indeed an absolutely crucial thing to have.
dushwari
If a very close beloved relative/friend does/say something to give you the worst mental torture in your life, due to a misunderstanding and you know that it was never your fault. After this if that person doesn't want to continue any kind of communication with you.
Would you keep initiating to revive your relation with that person by clearing your intentions to him/her ?
or
Would you leave the person because you feel that the person should have given you atleast a chance of explaining yourself instead of misjudging you ?
When anyone gives us pain, we must try to remain positive by thinking that it might not be his fault, (unless s/he makes it VERY clear to us by disclosing his/her intentions to be negative)...I am saying this because alot of times the devil persuades us to think negatively whereas actually we might not be aware of the truth. In some cases Allah might have chosen him to test our patience just to see if we still behave as a true gentleman by "forgiving and forgeting" only for the sake of Allah (swt). I am sure in most cases that person would realize his mistake and appreciate our sacrifices and sincrity. BUT that doesn't mean that we should emotionally torture ourselves till the time he is not ready to listen and is being rude to us. We must be satisfied and contented after our "Level best" efforts and wait calmly for the time when he would realizes his mistake.(With the grace and blessings of Allah)
In case of our blood relationships I think it was our Ultimate Lord who chose them as our relatives. So we can do our best and leave the rest to Allah. Ofcourse Allah is watching us all the time and would reward us on the basis of our intentions.
i would refer to my personal experience here ............... i had encountered that situation twice so far .
first one------- was with my beloved sibling , and to be honest it was my partial ( i think) fault , later on after the incident, i kept trying to revive my bond , sib listen to me only once after a long time , blamed me for everything , and i felt quiet relieved after that cuzz i got to know what my sib had for me in heart.
Second-------- incident was with my relative , which was purely not my fault , i tried to revive the relationship there as well , but got strong cold shoulder in return , so now we're not even intouch which doesn't bother me at all , if someone doesn't wanna listen / care for me , than y should i ?
@hsap. Brother, though it is none of my business, I couldn't stop myself from sharing what I feel about the situation you mentioned. You see Allah says in the Quran to not cut off your relationship with your relatives in any situation (Kindly correct me if anyone thinks that I have wrongly translated the verse).
According to my grandfather my father was the most sensable child among his 9 children, who not only reached the highest post ever achieved by any member of the family in the past, but also was the main source of unity in the family. He took loans on a number of occasions to get his sisters married who were not thankful to him even after he gave all kinds of sacrifices. He risked his own job to help his brothers on a number of occasions. He kept giving and trying to join them without expecting anything good in return, no matter how many times he was insulted by them. BUT he believed that there is someone up there who is watching every move of every person and who is aware of every bit of intentions in a person's heart. The same Almighty Lord rewarded him for always bringing tears of joy to his parent's eyes. Now Allah has blessed him with almost everything he wished in his life.
When we give sacrifices for the Love of our parents, the Prophet (saw) and Allah, Allah (swt) shows us in this world (inshAllah) and in the hereafter, the fruit of our efforts.
I might be wrong but this is how I sincerely feel and honestly understand. Allah knows BEST!