Debating hyphenating my last name after marriage (I have a more unique last name and he has a very common one…if I just changed it to his, I’ll be just another Dr. Siddiqui/Ahmed/Khan/etc)…but I don’t see very many desi women do the hyphenation thing and I heard it’s kinda a pain in the butt to do it.
Wanted to get your all’s opinion
Re: To hyphenate or not
Just keep yours?
Re: To hyphenate or not
Why do you think it’s a pain to hyphenate? Mine is hyphenated.. I wanted to keep mine but at the same time I wanted the (future) kids and all of us to have the same surname..
My brother’s ex also hyphenated hers when they married.. I don’t think it’s so uncommon..
Re: To hyphenate or not
keep yours’
Re: To hyphenate or not
Keep yours, why change?
Re: To hyphenate or not
Your name, your choice.
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I kept my maiden name and do not plan on ever changing it. DH & I have discussed kids in the future and I am perfectly ok with the kids having his last name. My kids not having my last name doesn’t bother me. After all, it’s not like anyone can change the fact that I gave birth to them.
My mother also kept her maiden name, and growing up, I never felt any less connected to her b/c we didn’t share our last names.
As for hyphenating, it’s a personal decision. But if you are ok with having a long name then go for it. Few things to keep in mind:
For what its worth, all desi women I know in the U.S. who are M.D.'s kept their maiden name b/c of all the issues/having to change their professional licenses etc. Some use their husband’s name on social media or just on social occasions…but if you actually look at the legal documents, they never officially changed it. So if you’re really 100% set on changing it, do it BEFORE you graduate b/c it’s a PITA and I’m pretty sure you have to pay to have each document changed so not cheap either.
Re: To hyphenate or not
My mum kept hers and it’s never been an issue so I can’t see why changing name needs to be a thing.
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I would keep mine. I’ve heard that while Islam doesn’t prohibit a woman from taking on her husband’s name…that it’s better to keep one’s father’s name as that is how we’ll be called on the Day of Judgment. If this info is correct…then you’ve the right to keep your maiden name. You can explain this gently to your husband if he objects…and if he really doesn’t care about it…then just keep your name.
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No, you will be called out by your mother’s name. I don’t know why I know this.
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My Papa taught my sisters and I that women should not take on their husbands name after marriage for 2 reasons..1) they will be called by their fathers name on the Day of Judgement and 2) a marriage is essentially a contract between man and women that can be broken but your relation/ties to your father can never be broken. I lucked out that my husband just happened to have the same last name as my maiden name so out was a moot point :cb:****
87556: People will be called on the Day of
Resurrection by their fathers’ names, not their mothers’**
[HR][/HR]Is it true that on the on the Day of Resurrection Allaah will call the people by their names and the names of their mothers, and what is the response to those who say that? Is there any shar’i evidence?.
**
**Praise be to Allaah. The idea that people will be called by their mothers’ names is mistaken and goes against that which is proven in the saheeh Sunnah which indicates that they will be attributed to their fathers. In his *Saheeh, al-Bukhaari included a chapter entitled “Chapter: The people will be called by their father’s names, in which he quoted hadeeth no. 6177 from Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A banner will be raised for the betrayer on the Day of Resurrection and it will be said: This is the betrayer of So and so the son of So and so.” *
*This hadeeth was also narrated by Muslim (1735). *
*That which was narrated saying that people will be called by their mothers’ names is da’eef (weak). *
*Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in *Tuhfat al-Mawdood bi Ahkaam al-Mawlood(p. 147): **
**Chapter Ten: Mankind will be called on the Day of Resurrection by their fathers’ names and not by their mothers’. This is the correct view which is indicated by the saheeh Sunnah and was stated by the imams such as al-Bukhaari and others. He said in his *Saheeh: The people will be called on the Day of Resurrection by their fathers’ names and not by their mothers’. Then he quoted in this chapter the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When Allaah gathers the first and the last on the Day of Resurrection, Allaah will raise for every betrayer a banner on the Day of Resurrection and it will be said: This is the betrayer of So and so the son of So and so.” ***
***In *Sunan Abi Dawood (4948) it is narrated with a jayyid isnaad from Abu’l-Darda’ that he said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You will be called on the Day of Resurrection by your names and the names of your fathers, so choose good names for yourselves.” ****
***Some people claimed that they will be called by their mothers’ names and they quoted as evidence for that a hadeeth which is not sound. This appears in *Mu’jam al-Tabaraani in the hadeeth of Abu Umaamah from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “When one of your brothers dies and you have levelled the dirt over his grave, let one of you stand at the head of his grave and say: O So and so son of So and so [his mother’s name], for he can hear him but cannot reply. Then let him say: O So and so son of So and so [his mother’s name], and he will say: Tell us, may Allaah have mercy on you.” And in this hadeeth it says that a man said: O Messenger of Allaah, what if his mother’s name is not known? He said: Then let him be attributed to his mother Hawwa’ (Eve), O So and so son of Hawwa’.” ****
***al-Haythami said (3/163): Its isnaad includes a number of people whom I do not know. End quote. ***
***It says in *Kashf al-Khifa’ (2/375): It was classed as da’eef (weak) by Ibn al-Salaah, then by al-Nawawi, Ibn al-Qayyim, al-‘Iraaqi, Ibn Hajar in some of his books and by others. ****
***They said: Moreover, a man may not know for sure who his father is, such as one who is disowned in a case of li’aan or an illegitimate child, so how can he be called by his father’s name? ***
***The answer is: The hadeeth is weak according to the consensus of scholars of hadeeth. As for the one whose his father is not known, he will be called as he was called in this world, so a person will be called in the Hereafter as he was called in this world, whether he was called by his father’s name or his mother’s. And Allaah knows best. End quote. ***
***Note: ***
***Some of them interpreted the verse (interpretation of the meaning): *“(And remember) the Day when We shall call together all human beings with their (respective) Imam [their Prophets, or their records of good and bad deeds, or their Holy Books like the Qur’aan, the Tawraat (Torah), the Injeel (Gospel), or the leaders whom the people followed in this world]” [al-Isra’ 17:71] as referring to this weak meaning. See *al-Qurtubi(10/257). *****
***Al-Zamakhshari said: One of the weird ideas mentioned in tafseer is the idea that the word “imam” is the plural of the word “umm” (mother) and that the people will be called on the Day of Resurrection by their mothers’ names, and that the reason why they will be called by their mothers’ names instead of their fathers’ is out of respect for the rights of ‘Eesa (peace be upon him) and to show the honourable descent of al-Hasan and al-Husayn on their mother’s side, and so that illegitimate children will not be embarrassed. How strange these notions are. End quote. *Al-Kashshaaf 2/682. ****
And Allaah knows best
**
Re: To hyphenate or not
I just keep hearing about how it’s annoying for my future patients or coworkers (lol) to have to say my whole last name and how people mess up legal docs and credit cards give you a hard time, etc. I don’t really know anyone with a hyphenated name so I didn’t know how common these were. My last name is longer (7 letters) and his is short (5) and it definitely sounds okay hyphenated
Yeah, I definitely want to decide before I graduate so I can make sure all my professional info is all consistent.
I definitely don’t want my kids to hyphenate; they’ll take their father’s. I wanted to hyphenate mostly because I am attached to my last name but I do want to incorporate my husband’s last name as well. The other option was to move my last name to my middle name but I feel like that causes even more confusion for people than a hyphen.
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Based on what I’ve heard/read…nope. I recently read that even adopted children should keep their father’s name…of the family/lineage they were born into.
I think maybe it’s part of Jewish tradition to take on the mother’s name. Not sure.
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Off-topic but what happens if you don’t know who your dad is? I’ve often wondered what happens when you have to fill in those forms at airports etc. (esp in Muslim countries) and you have to give your dad’s name 
Re: To hyphenate or not
So with a hyphen, you new last name will be 12 letters?! Ummmm…yea…it’s super annoying to have to say that long of a name. I’ve had to do that over the years and hated it. And yes, with a hyphen, chances of people making mistakes does increase but it doesn’t happen all the time.
OK, so this has nothing to do with kids. You want to take your husband’s last name…just for the sake of doing it? In that case, here are your options:
Do the hyphen…that way it’s legally part of your name. But when introducing yourself to patient/daily basis…you don’t have to say both name. After all…will it bother you if a patient calls your Dr. YourLastName only? If all you care about is having your husband’s last name on that document, then hyphen. Think of this as the reverse of what I wrote in the last post (ie. many M.D. women don’t change it legally but use it socially).
If you are ok with moving your maiden name as your middle name, that is actually the best option. After all, how often do you see people using their middle name? You definitely won’t have to use it when introducing yourself. Think about your friends/co-workers etc. How many of their middle names do you actually know?
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Wow, I didn’t realise this: “Half-Jewish”: Jewish Lineage Response on Ask the Rabbi]("Half-Jewish" | Aish)
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^Thanks for the clarification.
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I am not saying whose name you should take on. I am just commenting on the judgement day part. I always read and heard that you will be called out by your mother’s name.
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This is a tough one, Mrs. SoConfused-Siddiqui
Re: To hyphenate or not
That’s Mrs. SoConfused-Siddiqui for you.