To acknowledge/ not acknowledge , or say thanks for a gift received

[Bobby1]

Re: To acknowledge/ not acknowledge , or say thanks for a gift received

@redvelvet

Firstly, your thread and this particular question is anything about thought provoking.

I don’t like stereotyping, but let me tell you that I have found greater generosity among the Desi/Asian group than other groups.
I don’t know what kind of Desis you socialize with but every time we have hosted a dawat…whether on a large scale or a small scale…whethher they arrive early or late…MashaAllah MashaAllah se practically every guest with the exception of a couple have shown up with a gift. But we don’t expect them to bring a gift nor do we hold it against them.

Oh and not only do these guests compliment the food and the hospitality (MashaAllah)…several of them get together to clear the table, clean the kitchen, and wash the dishes (MashaAllah again)

There are stingy and considerate people in every group. But EMPATHY is an INSAANI trait…instilled by God…and some people have more of it than others…it’s not a strictly or predominantly western trait. I can surely give you examples of Goray who didn’t thank me for a gift when I was in front of them…much less in the form of a card or email.

There are cultural generalizations about various things like concept of time, gender roles, individuality vs group etc etc. But on the whole (yes there are exceptions)…but on the whole…Asian culture…is known for its hospitality and mehman nawazi and I have seen this consistently. Whether someone is an invited guest a welcome guest or unexpected…the person who enters your home does not have to ask you for pani…the host usually asks if you want something and will insist.

We are the culture of “khana khaye bina na jayega”…and among indians “mehmaan is like bhagwan”…and among afghans “dushman bhi ghar aaye to us k saath bhi acha salook kia jaye”…and among the Arabs who would slaughter their one and only camel/goat to feed a guest.

The world all over is becoming increasingly materialistic, that’s for sure…and this can lead to people being more generous with themselves than others…and it can also lead to keeping score of gifts and hisaab kitaab. But on the whole…Asian culture…is not considered small hearted in this area.

You and the Mrs. may need to sit down and examine exactly WHY your guests are being stingy with you. If you act in real life with your guests in the same manner that you behave on GS…(bragging, etc etc)…perhaps those guests just figured k “chalo kuch ghanto k liye Bobby ki baatain bardaash kar letay hain…muft main acha khana khaa letay hain…and phir chalte hain.”

Because, MashaAllah se, I and other people have had more positive exoeriences with Desi guests on the whole.

Now I mostly socialise with Canadian people and they are very expressive in their appreciation and will mention their appreciation sometimes for years. Nathans mom is going thru hard times and one day she showed up at our house unannounced and insisted she will clean our house to show appreciation for us. Nikhil is tight financially and for Harris’s birthday he makes a drawing as a gift. This time he made a plaque for him at his Industrial arts class. I was just talking to a concerned customer and she very strongly thanked me for taking the time to talk to her and to answer her concerns. You are right about mufta and greediness attitudes in some. During a picnic I had cooked these huge 8/12 shrimps and this woman pushed her adult kids in front of everyone else kai bachoon ko pehle khaane do and these big boys cleaned up the entire shrimp platter before anyone can take even a taste. Big burps, no thank you nothing.

PS many other posters on the thread had same experiences as I have.