After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven.
Saint Peter came by and the woman said to him “This is such a wonderful
place! How do I get in?”
“You have to spell a word,” Saint Peter told her.
“Which word?” the woman asked.
“Love.”
The woman correctly spelled “Love” and Saint Peter welcomed her into
Heaven.
About six months later, Saint Peter asked the woman to watch the Gates
of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of
Heaven, her husband arrived.
“I’m surprised to see you,” the woman said. “How have you been?”
“Oh, I’ve been doing pretty well since you died,” her husband told her.
“I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were
ill. And then I won the lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived
in and bought a big mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the
world. We were on vacation and I went water skiing today. I fell, the ski
hit my head, and here I am. How do I get in?”
“You have to spell a word,” the woman told him.
“Which word?” her husband asked.
“Czechoslovakia.”
A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received
a “Dear John”
letter
from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The
distance between us
is
just too great. I must admit that I have cheated
on you twice,
since
you’ve been gone, and it’s not fair to either of
us. I’m sorry.
Please
return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love, Becky
The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow
Marines for any
snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends,
sisters,
ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition
to the picture of
Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of
the pretty gals he
had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos
in that
envelope…along with this note:
Dear Becky, I’m so sorry, but I can’t quite
remember who you are.
Please take your picture from the pile, and send
the rest back to
me.
