Via an arranged marriage setting, i am now engaged. I dont know much about my fiance except the basics of his education, family,job etc. Our relation so far is over the internet and i’d prefer it to remain this way for a few months. Since the wedding is after 7-8 months, i’d prefer not jumping to phone calls so soon.
We have a difference of natures as well. I am bold and an extrovert. He is a little introvert and sensitive. I am the more expressive and open sort, he is the reserved sort. When he asks for my opinion, i am open and honest about it and i feel it normally goes against his likes. I am a little confused about how i should act in this initial phase to gain his trust and make him open about this relation himself. He being the particular sort expects me to be highly soft natured,respectful and well-mannered with him. I on the other hand am the careless hawa-hawai (:)) sort of person.I dont want to sound rude, needy, chipku or way too much of an extrovert kind of person. What do you suggest how i should normally behave with him?
Start with being soft and respectful..ease him into getting used to your expressive and blunt side, while continuing to be soft and respectful. There are always nice ways of saying the same thing.
Start with being soft and respectful..ease him into getting used to your expressive and blunt side, while continuing to be soft and respectful. There are always nice ways of saying the same thing.
ps, same guy mentioned in your previous thread?
Good advice.
Be very careful abracadabara, first impression is usually the last :).
You cannot hide for long who you really are.. being soft and respectful is the most you can do but if you are a bubbly sort of character then going against your nature will spell trouble for you..
with time he will be fine with it inshaALlah.. dont worry!
If you're an extrovert.....then that's just who you are. But being an extrovert and having an outgoing personality doesn't exempt you from the responsibility of being tactful when expressing your ideas (even when you disagree) nor does it exempt you from considering the other person's feelings about an issue before speaking. It need not be a matter of changing one's personality. You should be okay as long as you implement basic courtesy....and with time....as you get used to one another....there will be greater flexibility in the interactions.
Don't worry that you two have different personalities. My sister and brother in law are totally different. If my sister is west he is east. But they have some special chemistry. So don't worry if you are bubbly type of girl, just tell him. Try to tell him more and more about yourself. and ask about his personality. Try to communicate on phone or personally. It will help you to understand his views.
I don't think anyone wants her to hide her real self here but sometimes you have to take it slow in order to make sure you dont scare the person away with all the differences between the two of you.
why you people are so afraid of different personalities??? have you never heard opposite attracts??
positive and negative attracts
girls attract towards boys because they are of opposite genders
If guy is sober type of person then he always attracts towards bubbly type of girls. What you lack in your personality you always want to see it in your life partner.
So if they have different personalities, then what. nothing bad won’t happen, believe me. Just tell him what you are. It won’t be good if you pretend someone who you are not. Be natural.
i think having someone totally alike u wud be so damn boring bt its just that when the relationship is new n the other person comes across very diff it can be scary. esp like say im an introvert n i get engaged 2 an extrovert, i wud think its perfectly ok bt if he goes abt it making me uncomfortable then thats no good either. for ex if he is ok talking abt anything n everything under the sky but i m nt then it wud come 2 a point where the whole discusson wud get to “if i can tell u this n that y cant u”? u know things like that.
It is really difficult if the other person is more reserved. There is possibly nothing you can achieve as such until you both are living together and married. Because over the phone even you can only talk so much and people who are reserved don't have much to say, or even if they do they don't say so easily. That may give you a wrong impression and lead to misunderstandings and misperceptions. It's best to maintain distance and his comfort zone. You need to walk together in life and whoever is walking slower I guess is setting the pace. You cannot force him to walk faster if you aren't married and living together.
