Re: time spent at home alone without spouse
at this day an age this is a common problem between couples specially in pakistani couples settled in foreign countries but the best they can do is find special things that the spouse likes and make or do it for them and that not only makes the relationship stronger but keeps both of them happy as well as bzz and when time comes when they r together makes it special too 
Re: time spent at home alone without spouse
Without a sense of humor, you might just bore your spouse to death, dushwari. fiirandship isnt a bag of chips you buy from store or plan for by cooking up a scheme on gupshup or by going on a trip together. you can have a perfectly happy marriage without it.
Re: time spent at home alone without spouse
^ dil ko behlanay kay lya khyal acha hai.
three months... and all this friendship talk will go down the toilet like dulcolax the morning after.
It is sadly the the case with most couples (typical Pakistani)
But that situation should be avoided. Individual should work for healthy relationship. I value the time spent together. but at the same time overdose of closeness is also unhealthy sign.
Hoi mehngi bohat hi sharaab ke *
*thori thori peya karo
Peyoo magar rakho hisaab ke
thori thori peya karo...
Secrutiny over casual activities is also highly undesireable, wives should strictly avoid this.
Re: time spent at home alone without spouse
Great topic Dushwari. I have seen so many girls complaining of how their husbands work late and don't have enough time to spend with them. It all depends on what you do to make that time you have with him worthwhile. Sometimes the hubbies might be too tired or lazy to do anything so it always helps to plan something creative and fun.
This is something I am scared of myself because I first planned on being a housewife after marriage and take alot of time away from all the work I have been doing all these years. My hubby will start his residency right when we get married Inshallah and he was pretty cool with the idea. But as time has passed, I have realized that I don't think I would be able to sit at home for more than a few months. And the thought scares me because I feel like we both would not have enough time to spend with each other. He will be working his crazy hours and since my mom is a doctor, I know how stressful a medicine career is, main reason why I quit med school in the first year because I wanted something more practical as a career to suit my family life.
Anyhow, fiance has decided on a specialty that won't require long and tiring hours for him as he realizes how important family life is. But still, considering how tough medicine would be, I am trying hard to think of what to do so that when he comes home, he doesn't stay stressed and is actually happy and refreshed. I guess that won't be possible every single day but atleast a few days a week, I really want us to do special things together and spend as much time as possible. One thing we have decided on is that some days, I can go to his work and we can have lunch together somewhere or maybe I can cook his favorite meal and we can both enjoy it together :)
Re: time spent at home alone without spouse
^ well first year residency is the busiest, and the hardest, just keep that in mind and brace yourself; even when your husband is home he may be too tired to do much
but it does get a lot better after that, and third year is actually pretty light depending on the specialty
i know personally i could never sit at home all day, i start going crazy, i need something to do :)
maybe you could keep working part time during the first year to help keep you occupied
Re: time spent at home alone without spouse
^Thanks for the tip! I am dealing with his med school days now and they are tough as it is. I have mentally started to prepare myself for the first year of residency also. I am looking forward to having a career like I do now but if for some reason I feel like I can't juggle work and being a housewife, then I guess I'll just opt for the latter till I get used to handling a house better. I can spend alot of time with my in laws too in my free time. It's always fun to be around them. And I am looking forward to bugging hubby at work alot but that probably wouldn't be mostly possible. Was it hard for you too? I suppose 3rd year is fairly less work and more easy going.
Re: time spent at home alone without spouse
^well we weren't living together during his 1st year of residency, (nikkahed but not rukhsatied :) ) and i am really glad it worked out that way, he was working insane hours and i would have gotten really depressed and lonely with that kind of schedule
night call month is by far the most difficult rotation, if you can get through that, everything else is a piece of cake
i understand your concern about getting used to running a household- it IS a big responsibility and lifestyle change but its doable and just takes a while to get the hang of things-- i'm sure if what you really want is both a home and career then you'll be able to pull them off well
having in-laws and family around will be nice, its always great to have a support network (can't tell what i'd have given to have family around during that month!)
getting through residency isn't easy but as long as you know what you're in for and are willing to juggle schedules and prioritze to make the most of what time you do have, its really not that bad! im sure you guys will do just fine!
Re: time spent at home alone without spouse
dear shay9164,
i am happy that you could related to the thread's topic.
the best thing in a trust worthy relationship is , that you can actually leave your spouse alone and s/he is still nicely thinking of you, with great bonding and care for each other and longs to come back to you.
so the long work hours, are a part of earning a living in busy professions or working harder to have more, but after the day's work, going back home to a loving and caring, honest life partner must be the best thing that can ever happen to competent and clear conscience married adult women and men. so much is bad today in married relationships, because people hide their feelings or are being deceptive.
as a professional, since the time spent together is less to begin with, it does not need to be anymore shrunk, than it already comes as.
blessed are those educated and balanced couples, who are able to fulfill all their reasonable personal, social, community oriented and in laws' related familial roles as a happy and unbreakable team of two that cant have enough of each other as confidant and as a shield.
there are so many things a new couple can do and it works and enables both of them with a sense of being with each other rather than distant.
what you mentioned is true. being receptive to each other's work hours and then being able to give warm company to each other to de stress.
none of the riches are as precious as a good and honest spouse.
going to work with the spouse, or picking her or him after work must be a joy for both. good luck with your husband's residency and yes, you should work, so that he can say that his dear wife is a contributing member of the society by working in her profession. good change will come only when both will decide to work and be of support to each other.
all the best, :>
Dushwari