my son is 16 1/2 months old now. from last week he is throwing awful tantrums when he cant have something or anything that goes against his hope/will.
He stand by the door and wants to go out for walk and if i dont let him he screams, and i know its a fake scream and that he is not hurt or anything… this has started for few days now…
yesterday when i picked him up from day care, his teacher told me that she gave him a time out for 5 seconds… he was screaming and he needs to understand that he can’t scream and cry if he cant have something, she put him in time out he stopeed for a second and then started again… and she wanted him to be quiet for just 2 secs so she could take him out of time out…
she thinks he got a bit of message but wasnt completely understanding it…
I have never given him timeout thinking he is too young for it. well when i brought him home and for past few days he screamed and cried hysterically when i brought him inside the house because hewants to go out for walk. but yesterday he did start screaming but when i said not now we will go in a while and came inside, screaming only last for few secs and he was fine.
so i dotn knwo if the time out had to do anything for this… btu just want to knwo what other people have done in situtaions like this… and what is a proper way of time out?
Children only do what we allow them to. If you give in to his screaming and crying, he will use it as a weapon every time he wants something.
I have a suggestion but it will really require a lot of willpower on your part! I did this when my oldest was 2 years old and it does work I promise.
LET HIM CRY AND SCREAM!
When he wants something and he screams about it...let him and walk away or stand at a distance where you can ensure he is not going to hurt himself but look like you are not paying attention.
The first day my son cried for a solid 45 minutes.
The next day he cried for about 30 minutes.
The third day he cried about 15 minutes.
The fourth day...he totally stopped. In fact when I would take him out, he would give me those puppy eyes saying "Are you sure mama?"
I cried for the first two nights because it was heartbreaking to see my baby crying so much but it was the only was to prevent his behavior.
One more tip, also related to my oldest (my younger two were never so hyper!). Cut back or eliminate as much sugary and junk food as you can from his diet and limit TV. When I stopped the junk food and sodas from his diet, he started to improve quite a bit.
Children only do what we allow them to. If you give in to his screaming and crying, he will use it as a weapon every time he wants something.
One more tip, also related to my oldest (my younger two were never so hyper!). Cut back or eliminate as much sugary and junk food as you can from his diet and limit TV. When I stopped the junk food and sodas from his diet, he started to improve quite a bit.
Good luck!!
Thanks :)
I dont let him watch tv much, he watches it for about 15 minutes in the morning when i make breakfast and around 20 minutes in the evening!
We do try to be away from junk food as well. and he is really not screaming for 45 minutes or even 30 minutes... i walk away when he does start and usually it stop within 10- 15 minutes even shorter most of the time....
the only time i feel i have him thinking that i am giving in is, when i say that lets go for a walk and then I am putting on my shoes, coat and he is all ready to go and he is screaming to go and we end up going in 5 minutes or so....
but his teacher's concern was the screaming that he starts even its for 2 minutes but he does start it and then if he gets busy with something else....he will stop...
I guess my main questions is that is time out really necessary or right thing at this age?
My suggestion was not to be seen by him to give in. If he stops within 15 mins..thats actually good. And you hit the nail on the head with the distraction thing.
When you are getting ready and if he is in a rush, ask him to help YOU get ready too. Like ..get my shoes..help me put them on etc..involve him with your preparation as a good distraction.
To answer your question about time out...at 16 months, you can try it though I think I would prefer the distraction option. Also, letting him cry it out rather than give in is a form of a time out except you are not designating a spot for that.
With my 3 year old, I give him time outs on my lap. I just make him sit with me and I hug him with my arms so he doesnt wriggle out. This gives him the time to calm down and I can soothe him without me stressing out!