This is a question for the men: Let’s say you’re ambitious and have a lot going on in your life. How do you manage to spend time/give attention to the important people in your life?
Between long hours at work and the occasional business trips, I find myself short on time with a lot of people holding high expectations to see me.
Re: Time and Attention
Weekends?
Re: Time and Attention
i balance it out by cutting down on my own personal time-space and leisure activities. alHamdolillah, my job allows me to spend evenings and weekends with my family.
however, i've a big time-management problem when i go to India for a visit...it's hard to find time to visit other relatives and to see old pals. i usually try to have get together parties every now and then. my time is wasted a lot in traveling to other immediate family members who live in other cities. i don't even know how fast my holidays are over!
Re: Time and Attention
This is a question for the men: Let's say you're ambitious and have a lot going on in your life. How do you manage to spend time/give attention to the important people in your life?
Between long hours at work and the occasional business trips, I find myself short on time with a lot of people holding high expectations to see me.
I'll be honest I am pretty much in the same scenario as yourself. Thing is to make the most of it and the people that really matter will understand that your not always going to be there.
I know a lot of my fammily would love to see me but thing is I dont get round to seeing everyone and so the good old telephone comes in handy. Sometimes communications with the outside World are not allowed at all so I tell my fammily in advance that I wont be seeing or speaking for a while and they understand the situation.
Friends are an altogether different matter, some will think I am ignoring them or being selfish and pursuing my dreams... but they are not always dreams and I have duties that would be anightmares to a lot of people.
Still make the most of the time you have and more importantly never mention the difficuilty you are in but always ask about others before yourself. Those who love you truly will know you better than you know yourself.
Re: Time and Attention
u cant do anythign for them.
i just give a tight jhuppee to my mom (since i care about her), and for others i just smile/yawn/or listen to em carefully and just tell u dont need me u need Allah. but still if my presence makes a difference in your life, we can talk about all that during lunch, or coffee.
Re: Time and Attention
if people really love you and care for you, they will understand.
Im on the receiving end of this situation. Not business trips, but just the crazy hours of work and not being able to see the husband for more than I guess 20 minutes in a day.. yes, its improved from the 5-10 min that it was previously. Even our weekends are quite hectic, where he is running around trying to get bits and pieces sorted out..
On the receiving end, Ive just learnt to be more patient and only talk about things that really need to be talked about. When we had more time with each other, I could say crap that didnt need to be said... get into an argument unnecessarily... and then you know the rest. This way, I am getting better with my time management, and valueing the little time I have with him.. so only talking about stuff that matters.
On his side, not too sure what he's doing. But we seem to be doing fine. I miss him, but at the end of the day, if what he is doing is helping him better his career, and in the long run help us out, then its got to be a good thing.
Re: Time and Attention
u cant do anythign for them.
i just give a tight jhuppee to my mom (since i care about her), and for others i just smile/yawn/or listen to em carefully and just tell u dont need me u need Allah. but still if my presence makes a difference in your life, we can talk about all that during lunch, or coffee.
I dont agree with you.
You can do something. You can send a text. You can let them know that you love them, when you do see them, and wish them a good day at the beginning of the day. These are small things.... but mean a huge amount to someone who doesnt have you around as much as they want to.
And, as much as i like the thought of "you need Allah, not me..." it doesnt really do much warmth wise, love wise... and physically.
God has His place... and a SO has their place. You cant replace one with the other.
Re: Time and Attention
I dont agree with you.
You can do something. You can send a text. You can let them know that you love them, when you do see them, and wish them a good day at the beginning of the day. These are small things.... but mean a huge amount to someone who doesnt have you around as much as they want to.
And, as much as i like the thought of "you need Allah, not me..." it doesnt really do much warmth wise, love wise... and physically.
God has His place... and a SO has their place. You cant replace one with the other.
parents and your spouse should have place an important role in your life, but friends and siblings sometimes get really irritating.
they are same age as me, i never expected them anything thing only cuz i understand their position, but they dont give me that space. so all i am left with is just smile and move on. i cant archive all their demands/expectations from me. and trust me siblings n friends can drive one nuts.
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its not a problem.....YOU know what your priorities are......if you value the time spent with them....you would make time.....if you are not making time for them.........its because you value your 'ambitions' more than the relationships with those people.
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Well if you manage time properly, you can always take some time out for family on the weekends perhaps but there was a period when I was unable to take ample time out for family when I was setting up the business but my loved ones not only knew why I cant take time out but they never complained about it. They knew that I want to spend time with them as much as they do. You have to make sure that if not time, at least this assurance is there.
so yeah its necessary to take time out but if for some reason you cant, family should be understanding too. Some times its not only ambitions, some times its the matter of providing bread & butter and other time better future of family.
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To me, if my ambitiousness is taking time away from my love ones, to the extent that they are complaining, then I will revisit the reasons behind my ambitiousness.
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its not a problem.....YOU know what your priorities are......if you value the time spent with them....you would make time.....if you are not making time for them.........its because you value your 'ambitions' more than the relationships with those people.
That's a pretty ridiculous statement. When you have a job-- its called a job because you need to spend time to earn a living not because you place a priority on it. Your ambitions should not be just for yourself but also to support your loved ones.
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To me, if my ambitiousness is taking time away from my love ones, to the extent that they are complaining, then I will revisit the reasons behind my ambitiousness.
Good point. No complaints yet.However I have enough self awareness to know that I am pushing the limits.
I am definitely planning vacations with this in mind.
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its clear you do have time even if its just 2 mins because you're on here.. so instead why don't you make a quick phone call or text to a loved one at present =)
Owned
Game set match
its clear you do have time even if its just 2 mins because you're on here.. so instead why don't you make a quick phone call or text to a loved one at present =)
Re: Time and Attention
its clear you do have time even if its just 2 mins because you're on here.. so instead why don't you make a quick phone call or text to a loved one at present =)
I was referring to quality time not a quick phone call or text message, its obvious that ANYone with a phone can do that. Real attention means spending time with your loved ones not "phoning it in."
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Wish everyone was so fortunate to face this choice. Making time for those who are near and dear and even for those who may take comfort from your company shows empathy. And maybe down the road some young soul may return the favor in ones old age.
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I can't connect with all my friends every day or meet their expectations of meeting every Friday either, but those that mean a lot to me I make time.. even if it's a 20 min conversation or quick lunch. That is the best part of my day..