So I had my nikah two years ago and we are planning rukhsati next year..We had a huge function for nikah and now I am getting mixed suggestions about rukhsati. According to some I should not have another huge function for rukhsati and just go for a huge walima and others suggest that I should have another huge function for rukshati regardless. I am very confused. I just want to know what the norm is… How do people usually go about it? keeping in mind that my parents have already spent a lot of money on nikah and now they would have to shell out more money for rukhsati… I am one confused girl!
Re: those of you who had a long gap between nikah and rukhsati
if having a big rukhasati world make you happy, then go for it! but you mentioned financial issues, if this puts you into a bad situation, then doesnt matter, beacuse you've had the nikkah from parents side and it seems like it was quie a big event, have the walima as a huge function. forget the norm and what people think, coz theres always going to be people who are going to talk or disagree with what you've decided on, it always happens!
so go ahead and do what makes you happy, and what you are your family are not gonna regret afterwards, its your life not other peoples.
Re: those of you who had a long gap between nikah and rukhsati
haha, talk about problems that i had! it seems like EVERYONE except my family are so full of useless suggestions and crap. it's like, why are you having a big nikkah, why are you having a rukhsati, why are you spending so much money again, why aren't you just having a valima.. why this, why that.
seriously, do what you want. i had my fancy nikkah last year, and now i am having a rukhsati as well despite of everyone outside the family being against it. all i had to say was, as long as i am not asking YOU to spend money on it, mind your own business.
Re: those of you who had a long gap between nikah and rukhsati
You've got to have SOME sort of rukhsati. That being said, do whatever makes you happy.
I'm going for a small rukhsati and a bigger walima inshAllah (around 150 ppl - I know that's still small!!) but it's only cuz I don't want to spend too much. If I were having the wedding in Pakistan, then I'd go for a huge rukhsati and a huge walima.
Again, it's all preference. Do what makes you happy.
Re: those of you who had a long gap between nikah and rukhsati
i personally would go for a smaller rukhsati since it's been a long time. if you invite a larger group, a lot of them might be just acquaintances who'll be confused thinking "dude didn't they get married a long time ago". i rem i went to one with a 4 year gap (nikah at beginning of college and rukhsati at the end) and when the girl's mom was upset, some other aunties were acting like she is doing fake drama bc she had been married so long. anyway, ultimately it's up to you, and obviously u know ur social circle best and what function will suit them.
Re: those of you who had a long gap between nikah and rukhsati
Go for a small rukhsati if you really want to have one or skip it altogether if it causes a strain on your parents' finances. Have a blow out valima instead...:)
Re: those of you who had a long gap between nikah and rukhsati
If you like to have one and can afford it, then go for it. If its costing too much, dont feel bad about skipping out on a big formal function, especially given that you had a huge function already. You can always do a nice smaller rukhsati function at home or at a smaller place, with family and close friends and then have your walima the next day, or even just have your rukhsati on the day of the walima itself
Re: those of you who had a long gap between nikah and rukhsati
Yeah I would agree with midnighteyes. A cousin of mine had a long gap b/w her nikah and rukhsati and she had a rather grand nikah. So what she did was that she had an extravagant mixed mehndi, and then just a "wedding reception" which was contributed for from both the groom's and bride's side. And I would say that it was rather grand too. And that was also her rukhsati day.
Plus if you think your family's on a tight budget, then it's best to do it this way. Your inlaws would also not refuse on the idea of having to pay for half of the expenses.
Re: those of you who had a long gap between nikah and rukhsati
a few ppl i know who had a long gap had really fancy nikkahs and then a combined mehendi night and combined walima-rukhsati reception-- fancy, and contributed to by both sides for both days.
now my question is, what about if the "gap" between your rukhsati and the valima is longer than the norm.
Re: those of you who had a long gap between nikah and rukhsati
If you were doing one versus the other, I'd suggest doing a smaller rukhsati and a bigger walima rather than a big ruksati and small walima. :-) personal bias, yes, but I dunno I just like the thought of it.
Re: those of you who had a long gap between nikah and rukhsati
smaller functions with just family and close friends end up being more enjoyable anyway...even when we have bigger ones, its when most people have gone, that we let loose...more comfortable to dance and have fun...so i think it doenst have to be big to be fun and memorable...
