I know what you’re saying makes sense Niks but I dont think I would be able to look at it like that if I was in that situation. I think I would be furious and just the idea of him being weak enough in our marriage to cheat would hurt me to the core. Maybe the woman in Sara’s example self-sabotaged as a way to get out of the marriage? Because she felt so betrayed by him even thinking of cheating she made sure he did so she could get out?