Re: 'This is your Life (& Relationship)' presents - Nadz123
nadz whats your version of an ideal husband?
whats your version of an ideal wife
and whats your version of an ideal MIL?
Re: ‘This is your Life (& Relationship)’ presents - Nadz123
nope.
Re: ‘This is your Life (& Relationship)’ presents - Nadz123
yes. my husband.
Re: 'This is your Life (& Relationship)' presents - Nadz123
what is your favorite food, what is something you can cook or you like t cook? is there somethig you can make that your hubby would enjoy eating? what are your hobbies? if you were ask to choose a career what it would be? do you want to have a careerwhile raising a family?
food----pasta....
i love cooking it and eating it. hence the weight gain,..which i have blamed on having 2 kids- but really its just the pasta.
my career - would love to work for a law firm or a bank, which i have, and enjoyed it. I wish i could go back in time and still be working there and still have my 2 kids. its hard.
Re: 'This is your Life (& Relationship)' presents - Nadz123
Few Q's Nadz:
1) Knowing what you know now.....if you could go back in time......would you still choose your husband as your life partner?
yes.
2) You were raised in the UK but hubby in PK. The cultural differences between you and your hubby (and his family) clearly cause a lot of problems. Based on your experience, what advice would you give to other girls who were also raised in the west and are considering marrying someone from PK?
i married him because we liked each other. he came over to the ukl to study and we got to know each other, and i decided i liked him enough to say yes. most girls dont get that chance to actually live with their proposed fiances beforehand. i did. i knew his faults a swell, i knew all about his conservativness etc and when your in love you think its all bollywood and roses and that love will conquer al and nothing else matters. well it does. so girls, think with your brain and not your heart.
3) If it was completely upto you, how would you like to see you daughters 20 years from now? Women who have more "western" views like you OR women who have more traditional/conservative views similar to what your husband's side of the family probably believes in.
Thing is, i wish i was more traditional in my thinking, i wish i was more atleast slightly more religious. i would like my daughters to be strong and not so dependent on men. i always thought i was okay with out a man, seeing as i was brought up in the west, but even there, our parents and our upbringing drums it into our heads that we need a husband, a man, otherwise life will be harder than hell. and i want my duaghters, and the next generation, to not be reliant on a man, not feel guilty if they are 24 and not married, not feel insecure about their age/weight/colour and be independent as well as hold some sort of religious and moral values. i would like them to be what i am not.
Re: 'This is your Life (& Relationship)' presents - Nadz123
who are you fav 5 guppies, besides me?
ummm, i dont have 5 favourites. i like peoples advice, even the negative ones. but paheli, reha, RV, have helped me alot in a few of my problems. so thank you. but i think alot of people have helped me in some way here.
what do you like to eat for dinner?
pasta. what do you like the most about your mil?
erm. well she does help the poor. there have been times shes given quite alot of money to them and even more so when FIL has said dont give anymore. but she will carry on.
what is your dream job?
Lawyer/politician.
lol. seriously.
Re: 'This is your Life (& Relationship)' presents - Nadz123
What do you look like? :D
Re: 'This is your Life (& Relationship)' presents - Nadz123
Let's suppose you have the following choices:
1) Living with your in-laws in the UK
2) you and your husband living on your own in Peshawar
What would you choose? Point of my question is basically to determine whether the issues you are currently having are mainly related to your MIL or to the place you're living in.
Re: 'This is your Life (& Relationship)' presents - Nadz123
Hey Nadz, Hope you and your kids are good! I would like to second Paheli's question in bold and also ask:
What advice would you give to a girl who is newly engaged and soon to be married?
similar to what i said before. think with your brain. i know girls get to a certain age, and they all well mostly, get desperate to be married, if the girl herself doenstr want to, family or peer pressure can get to you. and we end up almost choosing the first/2nd person who comes along. sometimes we may even know them really well, but signs are always there. i knew my husband had a conservative side, but i wanted to be abit more religious too, so i said yes. however 3 years on and im less religious i think. dont know why. but he has more good points than bad. so girls should alwyas make a list of pros and cons. i did. the answers are infront of you.
and your not marrying shahrukh khan.
I have read previously that you had quite a romantic idea of marriage (as most girls do and I admit I probably do as well lol!) but how you realised that in fact marriage is much harder than you first thought it would be, so what would you say to somebody asking for your advice?
people change after marriage. its very hard. harder than any degree. and despite what todays feminists may say, women do most of the hard work. it sucks. but its how it is. we get our way in the end, well soon anyway, but the first few years are harder. we expect alot. we expect husbands tro drop everyone and everything after marriage and just be our husband. and i still think this at times. but obv thats wrong. a strong independent woman can dissolve into a shrieking nagging insecure housewife in minutes after the wedding. so try not to get dillusional, you only hurt yourself.
Also if you could go back and meet yourself in the past when you got engaged- what advice would you give to yourself to better prepare for the future and maybe to ensure a peaceful life with your husband & in laws??
stay strong.
dont take crap from anyone.
grow up.
stick to your principles. dont change anything. atleast not what isnt necessary.
Re: ‘This is your Life (& Relationship)’ presents - Nadz123
i thought i was meant to be answering the questions. 
Re: 'This is your Life (& Relationship)' presents - Nadz123
nadz whats your version of an ideal husband?
my husband but more liberal and with atleast 2 more brain cells.
whats your version of an ideal wife
me. but less stressed/tense/problematic/drama/expectations/. also someone who cooks a damn good meal. which i cant.
and whats your version of an ideal MIL?
smeone who doesnt expect dil to live with them, doesnt expect anything. doesnt interfere. treats dil like her damaad.
Re: 'This is your Life (& Relationship)' presents - Nadz123
What do you look like? :D
like a woman.
Re: 'This is your Life (& Relationship)' presents - Nadz123
Let's suppose you have the following choices:
1) Living with your in-laws in the UK 2) you and your husband living on your own in Peshawar
What would you choose? Point of my question is basically to determine whether the issues you are currently having are mainly related to your MIL or to the place you're living in.
ideally answer 1. yes mil issues exist. but i need my frredom, my indepence, want to be able to walk on a frigging road without being it being a reason for the next war.
Re: 'This is your Life (& Relationship)' presents - Nadz123
Wow Nadz.....I'm definitely seeing a different side to you (in a good way!). :)
most girls dont get that chance to actually live with their proposed fiances beforehand. i did.
Looks like we have something major in common. Let me ask you this.....would you be ok with your daughters doing the same? (I've been asked this q before so I'm curious about your thoughts since you've made the same choice).
Question:
1) Do you still keep in touch with your friends in the UK?
2) What's a typical day like for you right now. From the time you wake up 'til you go to bed....what keeps you occupied all day?
3) Not sure if you have mentioned this ever but are your parents aware of how unhappy you are in PK?
Re: 'This is your Life (& Relationship)' presents - Nadz123
Wow Nadz.....I'm definitely seeing a different side to you (in a good way!). :)
Looks like we have something major in common. Let me ask you this.....would you be ok with your daughters doing the same? (I've been asked this q before so I'm curious about your thoughts since you've made the same choice).
see, he was my cousin, and he came to live with us while doing his masters in the uk. at the time there wasnt an engagement or whatever and i was firmly against marrying him, just because i didnt want to. plus because the entire world knows hes so conservative, the chances of him trying to do some funny busines with me, well, it wasnt even a question.....parents knew him. the likeing/marriage bit came afterwards. like 2 years after.
but would i let me male nephew stay with us? nope.
we all do things differently and see things differently when we are adults ourselves. just because my own husband happened to be a shareef aadmi, not all men are.
Question:
1) Do you still keep in touch with your friends in the UK?
yes of course. 2) What's a typical day like for you right now. From the time you wake up 'til you go to bed....what keeps you occupied all day?
well, ive begun making breakfast for husband, after that if my daughters awake, giving them breakfast, abthing themdoing some work, reading/writing, doinh some excercise in my room. making lunch. most of the day is with kids. running around after them. changing their diapers takes up around 5 hours a day im sure. surfing the net, coming on gupshup, going for a walk,. going out if i am able to. it sounds like nothing. but man the day flies past with 2 under 2`s. 3) Not sure if you have mentioned this ever but are your parents aware of how unhappy you are in PK?
yes. well unhappy is maybe what they dont know. they know i dnt like it much here. they know all this. but they also know i knew this before i married him. so it snot like i was surprised.
thing is, i remember when he wasnt my husband, when i just had my little crush on him, if you can call it that. and i knew he liked me wearing salwar kamiz/duppata on head.....so even in the uk, i remember there was a time i wore duppata on head, my aunts and even my mum were like whats happened to u, are u ill, whys ur hair covered, is it not washed?.....NO, im covering it for him.....
, anyway, he never saw this. but when i married him, as a husband i didnt like being told what to do. even though as a fiance/or even boyfriend..lol, i wouldve done anything he said. weird no?
Re: 'This is your Life (& Relationship)' presents - Nadz123
Nadz, guppies are dying to know, is it Victoria Secret or Hanes.
Re: 'This is your Life (& Relationship)' presents - Nadz123
Who is the mysterious brother in law?
Why you never mention(ed) him?
Re: 'This is your Life (& Relationship)' presents - Nadz123
Who is the mysterious brother in law?
Why you never mention(ed) him?
1) He is not all that mysterious, she has mentioned him several times.
2) Girls/women only have problem(s) with female members of the in laws. Fact.
Re: 'This is your Life (& Relationship)' presents - Nadz123
He is mysterious to me.
Let's hear from Nadz.
Re: 'This is your Life (& Relationship)' presents - Nadz123
Damn. I'm gonna second Paheli here. This is a different Nadz (clear thinking and more articulate) than we see in her threads.