Re: This is really really silly but talk some sense into me ( rishta scenario)
The Last Straw you dont know what you are going on about.....sorry man.
Bebo- if he is across the pond then meeting is pretty tough!
spent last night talking to him for a relatively long time. I asked him about his social life....
I am very into movies and its a common thing to be into so i started off asking what movies he watches and he said - I don't really like movies because I have no one to go with and sunday is taken up by football
I then went on to ask him if he meant all his friends were too busy now - married etc thats why no one to go with.......he said that all his best friends are in pakistan and he doesn't feel the need to make friends in the US ( red flag)
I then said well he must have made SOME friends in school, college and work and he said yeah he has a few aquaintances but they are free on sunday mainly and that is football day and even if is asked out somewhere he says no.
:/
I dont understand how he got such a good job in such a good company being this socially awk but he must be really clever or something?
Oh asked him about traveling and where hes been he said he went to Costa Rica on his own as he no one to go with - i felt kinda sad for him here:(
Spiral your sister socialises too out of choice he CHOSES not to or doesnt want to.
He lives with his parents and 2 sisters live on the next street they are married with kids. I asked him why he just doesnt go home and spend time with parents, sisters and neices and nephews and he said he prefers to stay in the office as there is nothing to do with them - a bit of a red flag for me - me and my bro do things together and i like being at home and relaxing and talking to family and surely he can't be THAT into work??
Anyway will speak to him a few more times and then discuss the situation with my parents.
Re: This is really really silly but talk some sense into me ( rishta scenario)
LOL
wow this sounds like a guy I know totally annoying depressing guy.
who whines and whines about having no friends (even though he makes 0 effort) and say that he only has friends in Pakistan but hates living in Pakistan so never going back.. if that makes sense..
I would say no to this rishta only because he sounds like a mental case.
Re: This is really really silly but talk some sense into me ( rishta scenario)
I then went on to ask him if he meant all his friends were too busy now - married etc thats why no one to go with.......he said that all his best friends are in pakistan and he doesn't feel the need to make friends in the US (red flag)
This would really concern me.. esp as he's been in the US since his early teens..
Re: This is really really silly but talk some sense into me ( rishta scenario)
Wow…
Inspi: I would think LONG and HARD about this guy! He’s anti-social and a loner by choice! Just imagine living day-to-day life with him. He will never do anything else on Sunday other than football for half the year. If you marry him and move to the U.S., he will not help you at all when it comes to making friends here. In fact, with his attitude that he doesn’t need to make friends in the U.S., not only will he not help you…he will discourage you from forming a social circle.
He prefers to be at work rather than spend time with his own parents, sisters, nieces/nephews b/c there’s nothing to do with them?! WTF?! What does he think there will be “to do” with his wife and his chiildren? If he’s too lazy to organize activities to spend time with his own family…its difficult for me to believe that things will be any different with his wife/children.
You can have a few more conversations with him if you’d like…but I think already he has given you a good glimpse at his personality and what life will be like living with him. And it’s a horrible idea to marry someone thinking they will change afterwards.
** BTW, it’s very possible for a person to be “book smart” and get a well paying job…and yet be anti-social. There are people out there who’re very successful in their career…yet their personal life sucks due to their lack of social skills.
Re: This is really really silly but talk some sense into me ( rishta scenario)
Inspiron - That conversation is weird! Warning bells going off. It's hard for a social person to live with someone anti social. One of my brothers in law is very social and going to be marrying someone like himself. The other two had arranged marriages and one of my brother in law and his wife appear to be polar opposites. She had to pretty much give up her social life and change herself because of him. But he married her in Pakistan, she married quite young so she lives with it. People don't change. Make sure you two are compatible and meet in person before saying yes!
Re: This is really really silly but talk some sense into me ( rishta scenario)
Thanks for the advise everyone I appreciate it.
So what we have decided as a family is - to give things a little break for now in terms of this rishta.
I am going to Toronto in a few weeks and he said he can easily fly up to meet us with his mother. We will meet up with him then if something else hasnt come up in the middle to decide on him.
I am a super social person and have an active life so I need to think long and hard about this and meeting him in person would help us make a decision much more easily.
Re: This is really really silly but talk some sense into me ( rishta scenario)
Sounds like a plan Inspi. Just wanted to add - my sister is Canadian (moved here in her teens) and going to be marrying a Brit (born & bred) and they get along great. :-)
However, I do remember this doctor I met while I was dating (before meeting my husband) who was Canadian (born & bred). The guy had a big head, I liked him initially as I thought he was light hearted and funny. But he couldn't take a joke if it was about him / on him and became defensive and rude. That was a shock to me but the guy had such a big head, he didn't like critcism at all and just wanted to be worshipped as a demi god or something. lol I ran away from him quick, I mean who wants to deal with that?!
Re: This is really really silly but talk some sense into me ( rishta scenario)
Well not really sara.
We have decided the best thing to do is meet him when we are over in toronto as its much easier for him to meet us there than us fly to US now or him to fly here and in the mean time to go back to looking at other rishtas because there are some red flags in this one.
If for example another rishta works out in the middle then we will politely let them know, if not we are meeting a couple of families up in toronto and will meet him too as meeting face to face helps us decide better if we want to go forward with things.
