..BEFORE even thinking of getting married!?
Alright I figured this is a topic that definitely needs to be discussed here.. esp since some of you are still living in fairytale land!!??
If not anything else perhaps we can all learn something here 
lessee what you guys come up with…
arrite... i'll give u a list :)
stuff not to discuss
- income
- ur mothers cooking
- how u feel about pakistan's economy
- whether u like Osama bin Laden or not
- stuff that can cause ur blood levels to go high...
:)
and no i dont have experience... sorry dont know
^ one more thing.... i previously didnt know this was the case as i thought it only happened in movies.... but also discuss ur families and where ur from.. apparently that matters a lot to some.. (how shallow haina?... i thought so :( )
actually, my parents are very particular n fussy on the cast ,tribe n the whole khandan deal,, it matters to them coz theyre traditional.... im not fussy on that..
neways,,,good topic,,
thats a good list sadzz,, i agree with most of the things you've said,,
things you should discuss..
- where you wana live
- when to have children
- islam (his beliefs n urs)
- travelling ( how often u like to travel :p)
- spending (if the guy can afford ur expenses)
- work (if the guy wants his wife to work or not)
-- etc etc...
If you ever ask questions try and make them open ended. you dont want to provide the answers yourself :)
Why do you want to get married? It could be family pressure, it could be right time but it could also be just something the person wants to cause (s)he things its the solution to all problems.
What are your views on religion? How religious are you? Follow this up with what does that mean in your day to day life (It amazing how strongly muslim people only find time to pray jummas and liberal people will not talk to the opposite gender)
Tell me about your family? What do they do?
What do you like to do normally in your free time (normally you should expect to hear like 20 wonderful sane things the person does, like work out, raft, ski etc). Follow this up with when was the last time you did _____? (Pick something that interests you and watch how people get confused saying three years ago :D) Either they are really very busy or thats not really something they like to do.
What are you looking for in a spouse?
Ask about their career and home life?
See if they have a sense of humor?
Ask about their family life as in how often they see them. Remember if (S)he does not like having her mother over, its not gonna change with yours :)
I could probably write out a few hundred more questions here but thats likely to bore you to death. My view (if you decide to go with the non-arranged system) is that you want to find out a few things about the person, namely:
1) How does the person interact with their family?
2) How adaptable are they and whats changeable and whats not?
3) Where does their religious tolerance lie?
4) And what are the looking to get out of marriage?
How you do that is really up to you and it has to be at a pace thats comfortable to both parties.
^ good points...
i jsut remembered something that happened to a frienf of mine... her mama dragged her to pakistan to see 'potentials'.. when she got there her whole khandan was raving on about some rich guy who had done bla bla degree and how decent and bla bla he was...
so the day comes for them to meet... he comes over and they get left in a room on their own.. he pulls out this file and goes..
'here is my bio-data..' and shes like.... what!! he has this huge file full of his certifcates and so on...
he went on about what he'd like to do if he got the chance to come to OZ and bla bla... so she goes..
'and how will u support me? what will u do?'
bechara... just looked at her and had nothing to say hehehe... oh man that makes me laff so much
now she's happily married to a lovely man and has two kids :) love happy endings
if your breath stinks i am outta here
^^ Wise A$$. :D
nothing :p all this questions and stuff is just aiween khamakha ka natuk :p
waisay bhee imagine discussing all this stuff....weirddddd :D :D :p
if after ur parents have approved etc n u get a basic good gut feeling abt the person i say just say bismillah n go for it :p aggay Allah Maalik :D
^ true… who gets the time to have a full on interview with the new employee.. ?
lekin i reckon if ur parents introduce the two before finalising anything.. or just want the kids to develop ‘an understanding’ then u got plllllenty of time..
my parents introduced me to someone… and ive gone thru pretty much all the nitty gritty… now he’s disappeared 
thankyou wolfie 
bad breath is a killer, guys always check that