Salaam all.
Its my first post in here, so bear with me if there is any shortcomings please.
Okay, so.. my fiance and I are set to get married sometime next year inshaAllah, and i would like to know, what topics are essential or just really helpful to have had a talk about before we tie the knot?
Him and I are both doctors (just graduated) and though we live in the same country at the moment, he’s from canada while im from norway.
We are not 100% sure as to where we want to settle as of yet (…the states, canada and somewhere in europe is in the talks as it will all depend on where it would be best in regards to our career as well as families). As anyone can imagine our current situation is a little worrying to me, as normally i’m the type of person who likes to have a set plan and know where and towards what im working, but ofcourse i trust is Allah SWT, but at the same time i’d really appreciate it if any of you (especially those who are married) could let us know what things in our situation would be wise to have a talk about before the wedding.
Re: Things that needs to be discussed before marriage
We have been married 20yrs and has been an mazing ride so far, we hardly agree on anything and nothing went as planned but we love each other lot and there is a lot of chemistry and passion in the relationship. My advice is to you is don’t worry about negotiating, bargaining and that sort of stuff and go with the flow. Canada is lot bigger than Norway we can fit u in one of our lakes. If she would have put conditions to marriage, I would have run away.
Re: Things that needs to be discussed before marriage
I hope you have had the chance to speak to your fiance before the engagement and have a good idea of who he is.
Here are some questions my friend’s have used during the getting to know you phase. https://haqislam.org/pre-marital-questions/. Choose ones that are best for your situation that have not been discussed.
To me, deen, ambition (short/long term goals), their values as well as knowing about a person’s family and upbringing are really important. Having full trust in Allah is so important and I’m glad that’s a priority for you. When you have that then it all works out in the end anyways!
Re: Things that needs to be discussed before marriage
I live in Europe, I might be biased but europe is a lot safer than the States/Canda and think in the future when u will have kids, safety and security will matter a lot more and Norway has a better social system, and better maturanity leave ect… Think where u want ur kids to grow and once u decide stick to it.
The thing with language, it can be learned… my husband learned german it in 1 year, this should not be the show stopper.
Re: Things that needs to be discussed before marriage
Dealing with life and death situation was easy our biggest fight was over she didn’t like the way I tied the knot on grocery bags you can’t predict future just love and respect is important
