Things not to say when pulled over by the police

  1. When the officer says “gee son… your eyes look red,
    been drinking?” you probably shouldn’t respond with,
    “gee officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating
    doughnuts?”

  2. “I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know
    there are no other cars around. That’s how far ahead of
    me they are.”

  3. “Do you know why you pulled me over? okay, just so one
    of us does.”

9 “Gee, officer! That’s terrific. The last officer only
gave me a warning, too!”

  1. “I pay your salary!”

  2. “You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?”

  3. “I thought you had to be in relatively good physical
    condition to be a police officer.”

  4. “Are you Andy or Barney?”

  5. “Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125 mph to keep
    up with me. Good job!”

  6. “Aren’t you the guy from the village people?”

  7. “Sorry, officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t
    plugged in.”

    and the number one thing not to say to a cop is-

  8. “I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.”