Re: There’s this rishta..
Firstly, surely you’re old enough to realize that in desi families…you don’t just marry the guy. You are marrying into his entire family. And if you already know that he values his family a lot, and you’re sure you’ll have to interact with them enough…then think carefully. Your mom kept her mouth shut and that’s how she managed to survive the family politics. Understand that in order for this marriage to work…you will also need to keep your mouth shut. His family didn’t change after your mother’s wedding or in the past few decades since then. They sure as heck aren’t going to change if/when you marry him. So if you know yourself and already know that you cannot survive in that environment…then I honestly have no idea why you’re even considering him.
Yea well that’s a lot of uncertainty isn’t it? I imagine he needs to get married first before immigrating to the U.S. So once the nikah papers are signed, he gets here, and can’t find a job…or doesn’t like the jobs he gets…then what? Are you going to keep quiet and follow him to UK/Canada or wherever else he wants to go? And do not forget to even with “work opportunity”…he has already told he that he PREFERS NOT to be in the U.S. Once the nikah papers are signed, and he decides to go with what he prefers…either you follow him or get divorced.
You still haven’t listed any reasons as to why you’re even considering this guy? There are plenty of nice, friendly, considerate guys whose family will be similar to your parents, and who want to settle in the U.S. I’m not getting why you’re so desperate that you’re picking a guy whose future plans/values seem to be very different from yours. His family already puts your mother, and you/your siblings down. Why on earth do you want to marry into a family that already has 0 respect for you and your parents? You really want your future children to deal with the drama and listen to all the bad mouthing from his family?