40 Naseeha Li-Islaah il-Booyout
The Muslim Home â 40 recommendations
Introduction
Bismillaah il-Rahmaan il-Raheem
In the Name of Allaah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
All praise be to Allaah, we praise Him and seek His help and forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our own selves and from our evil deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides, no one can lead astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah Alone, with no partner or associate, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
The home is a blessing.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): âAnd Allaah has made for you in your homes an abodeâŚâ [al-Nahl 16:80]
Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: âHere Allaah, may He be blessed and exalted, is mentioning His complete blessing to His slaves: He has given them homes which are a peaceful abode for them, to which they retreat as a haven which covers them and gives them all kinds of benefits.â
What does the home represent to each one of us? Is it not the place where he eats, enjoys intimacy with his wife, sleeps and rests? Is it not the place where he can be alone and can meet with his wife and children?
Is the home not the place that offers cover and protection to women? Allaah tells us (interpretation of the meaning): âAnd stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignoranceâŚâ [al-Ahzaab 33:33]
If you think about those who are homeless, who live in shelters, or on the streets, or as refugees scattered in temporary camps, then you will realize the blessing of having a home. If you listen to a distressed homeless person saying, âI have nowhere to settle, no fixed place to stay. Sometimes I sleep in so and soâs house, sometimes in a cafĂŠ or park or on the sea-front, and I keep my clothes in my carâ, then you will realize the disruption that results from not having the blessing of a home.
When Allaah punished the Jews of Banu Nadeer, He took away this blessing and expelled them from their homes, as He said (interpretation of the meaning): âHe it is Who drove out the disbelievers among the people of the Scripture (i.e. the Jews of the tribe of Banu al-Nadeer) from their homes at the first gathering.â Then He said: â⌠they destroyed their own dwellings with their own hands and the hands of the believers. Then take admonition, O you with eyes (to see).â [al-Hashr 59:2].
There are many motives for the believer to pay attention to putting his house in order.
Firstly: protecting himself and his family from the Fire of Hell, and keeping them safe from the burning punishment: âO you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allaah, but do that which they are commanded.â [al-Tahreem 66:6 â interpretation of the meaning].
Secondly: the great responsibility borne by the head of the household on the Day of Reckoning.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âAllaah will ask every shepherd (or responsible person) about his flock (those for whom he was responsible), whether he took care of it or neglected it, until He asks a man about his household.â
Thirdly: the home is a place to protect oneself, to keep away from evil and to keep one's own evil away from people. It is the refuge prescribed by Islam at times of fitnah (strife, tribulation).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âBlessed is the one who controls his tongue, whose house is sufficient for him, and who weeps over his mistakes.â
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âThere are five things, whoever does one of them, Allaah will be with him: visiting the sick, going out for jihaad, entering upon his leader with the intention of rebuking and respecting him ?], or sitting in his home so that the people are safe from him and he is safe from the people.â
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âThe safety of a man at times of fitnah is in his staying home.â
The Muslim can see the benefit of this advice when he is residing in a foreign land where he is unable to change much of the evil around him. Then he will have a refuge which, when he enters it, will protect him from doing haraam things or looking at haraam things, and will protect his wife from wanton display and unveiling, and will protect his children from bad company.
Fourthly: people usually spend most of their time at home, especially when it is very hot or very cold, when it is raining, early or late in the day, and after finishing work or school, so this time should be spent in worship and halaal pursuits, otherwise it will be spent in wrongdoing.
Fifthly and most importantly, paying attention to the home is the most important means of building a Muslim society, because the society is formed of the households and families that form its building blocks. Households form neighbourhoods, and neighbourhoods form societies. If the building blocks are sound, the society will be based on the laws of Allaah, standing firm in the face of enemies and filled with goodness that evil cannot penetrate. Then Muslim homes will produce pillars of society who will reform and guide it aright, such as exemplary daiâyahs, seekers of knowledge, sincere mujaahideen, righteous wives, caring mothers and all other types of reformers.
Because this subject is so important, and our homes are full of so many shortcomings and evils and examples of negligence, this begs the very important question:
What are the means of reforming our homes?
The following contains advice on this topic. May Allaah benefit us from it, and cause the Muslims to focus their efforts on reviving the Muslim home.
All the following advice revolves around two things: achieving our interests, which is by establishing that which is right and good, and warding off evil, by removing that which can cause it or bring it into our homes.
Forming the household
Making a good choice when choosing a wife
âAnd marry those among you who are single (i.e., a man who has no wife and a woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is All-Sufficient for His creaturesâ needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people).â [al-Noor 24:32 â interpretation of the meaning].
The head of the household must select a righteous and suitable wife based on the following conditions described in various ahaadeeth:
âA woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty or her religion. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust *!â (Agreed upon).
âThis world is all temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this life is a righteous wife.â (Reported by Muslim, 1468).
âLet every one of you have a thankful heart, a remembering tongue [remembering Allaah] and a believing wife who will help him with regard to the Hereafter.â (Reported by Ahmad, 5/282, and al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Maajah from Thawbaan. Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 5231).
According to another report: âA righteous wife to help you with your worldly and religious affairs is the best treasure anyone could have.â (Reported by al-Bayhaqi. Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 4285).
âMarry one who is loving and fertile, for I will be proud before the other Prophets of your great numbers on the Day of Resurrection.â (Reported by Ahmad. Saheeh al-Irwaâ, 6/195).
âI advise you to marry virgins, for their wombs are more fresh, their mouths are more sweet and they are more content with little.â According to another report: â⌠and they are less likely to deceive.â (Reported by Ibn Maajah. Al-Silsilah al-Saheeh, 623).
Just as a righteous wife is one of the four elements of happiness, so a bad wife is one of the four elements of misery, as it says in the saheeh hadeeth: âOne of (the elements of) happiness is a righteous wife, who when you see her you feel pleased, and when you are away, you feel that you can trust her with regard to herself and your property. And one of (the elements of) misery is a bad wife who when you see her, you feel upset, she keeps attacking you verbally, and when you are away, you do not feel that you can trust her with regard to herself and your property.â
On the other hand, it is also essential to look at the situation of the prospective husband who is proposing marriage to the Muslim woman, and to agree to his proposal in accordance with the following conditions:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âIf there comes to you one with whose religion and character you are pleased, then marry your daughter [or sister, etc.] to him, otherwise there will be fitnah and great corruption in the land.â
All of the above must be achieved through asking the right questions, verifying facts, gathering information and checking sources, so that the home will not be corrupted or destroyed.
The righteous man and righteous woman together will build a righteous home, because âthe vegetation of a good land comes forth (easily) by the Permission of its Lord, and that which is bad, brings forth nothing but a little with difficultyâŚâ [al-Aâraaf 7:58 â interpretation of the meaning].
Striving to guide oneâs wife
If one's wife is righteous, this is a blessing indeed, and this is from the Bounty of Allaah. If she is not that righteous, then it is the duty of the head of the household to strive to guide her. Any of the following scenarios may apply:
A man may marry a woman who is not religious in the first place, because he himself is not religious at first, or he may have married her in the hope of guiding her, or under pressure from his relatives, for example. In these cases he must strive hard to guide her.
A man must also realize from the outset that guidance comes from Allaah, and that Allaah is the One Who reforms people. One of His blessings to his slave Zakariya was, as He said (interpretation of the meaning): â⌠and [We] cured his wife for himâŚâ [al-Anbiyaâ 21:90]. This curing or reforming may have been physical or religious. Ibn âAbbaas said: âShe was barren and could not have children, then she had a child.â âAtaaâ said: âShe was harsh of tongue, and Allaah reformed her.â
There are various means of guiding or reforming oneâs wife, such as:
Paying attention to correcting her worship of Allaah in all its aspects, as will be discussed in detail below.
Striving to strengthen her eemaan, such as:
encouraging her to pray at night (qiyaam al-layl)
encouraging her to read Qurâaan
encouraging her to memorize adhkaar and remember the appropriate times and occasions for saying them
encouraging her to give charity
encouraging her to read useful Islamic books
encouraging her to listen to useful Islamic cassettes that can increase knowledge and strengthen eemaan â and continuing to supply her with them.
choosing good, religious friends for her, with whom she can form ties of sisterhood and have good conversations and purposeful visits.
protecting her from evil and blocking off all avenues for it to reach her, by keeping her away from bad companions and bad places.
Creating an atmosphere of faith in the home
Making the home a place for the remembrance of Allaah
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âThe likeness of a house in which Allaah is remembered and the house in which Allaah is not remembered is that of the living and the dead, respectively.â
We must make our homes places where Allaah is remembered in all kinds of ways, whether in our hearts, verbally, during prayer, by reading Qurâaan, by discussing Islamic issues, or by reading different kinds of Islamic books.
How many Muslim homes nowadays are dead because there is no remembrance of Allaah, as mentioned in the hadeeth. What must they be like when all that is heard therein is the music of Shaytaan with instruments and singing, and backbiting, slander and gossip?
What must they be like when they are filled with evil and sin, such as the haraam mixing of the sexes and wanton display between relatives who are not mahram or with neighbours who enter the home?
How can the angels enter a home like this? Revive your homes with all kinds of dhikr, may Allaah have mercy on you!
Make your homes a qiblah
What is meant is taking the home as a place of worship.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): âAnd We inspired Moosa and his brother (saying): âTake dwellings for your people in Egypt, and make your dwellings as places for your worship, and perform al-salaah, and give glad tidings to the believers.ââ [Yoonus 10:87].
Ibn âAbbaas said: âThey were commanded to take their dwellings as places of prayer [lit. mosques].â
Ibn Katheer said: âThis â and Allaah knows best â was because of the intensity of the tribulation that they were facing from Pharaoh and his people. They were commanded to pray much, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): âO you who believe! Seek help with patience and prayerâŚâ [al-Baqarah 2:153], and as it was reported in the hadeeth that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), when he was distressed by something, would pray.â
This explains the importance of worshipping at home, especially at times when the Muslims are in a position of weakness, as happens in some places where the Muslims cannot pray openly in front of the kuffaar. In this context we may think of the mihraab of Maryam, which was her place of worship, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): â⌠Every time Zakariya entered the mihraab to visit her, he found her supplied with sustenanceâŚâ [Aal âImraan 3:37]
The Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) used to be keen to pray at home â apart from the fard or obligatory prayers (which they prayed in congregation in the mosque) â and there is a moving story concerning this. Mahmood ibn al-Rabeeâ al-Ansaari reported that âUtbaan ibn Maalik â who was one of the Companions of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and was one of the Ansaar who had been present at Badr â came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: âI am losing my sight, and I lead my people in prayer. When it rains, the valley between me and them gets flooded and I cannot get to their mosque to lead them in prayer. O Messenger of Allaah, I would like you to come to come and pray in my house so that I can take it as a place for prayer.â The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, âI will do that, in sha Allaah.â âUtbaan said: âThe next day the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and Abu Bakr came in the morning. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked for permission to enter, and I gave him permission. He did not sit down until he entered the house, then he said, âWhere would you like me to pray in your house?â I showed him a corner of the house, then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stood up, said Takbeer, and we stood in a row behind him, and he prayed two rakâahs and gave the salaam at the end of the prayer.â (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 1/519)
Spiritual training for the members of the household
âAaâishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: âThe Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray qiyaam at night, and when he prayed witr he would say, âGet up and pray witr, O âAaâishahââ (Reported by Muslim, Muslim bi Sharh al-Nawawi, 6/23).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âMay Allaah have mercy on a man who gets up at night and prays, then he wakes up his wife to pray, and if she refuses he throws water in her face.â (Reported by Ahmad and Abu Dawood. Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 3488).
Encouraging the women of one's household to give charity is another means of increasing faith. This is something very important which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged, when he said, âO women! Give in charity, for I have seen that you form the majority of the inhabitants of Hell.â (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 1/405).
One of the new ideas is to have a box at home for donations to the poor and needy: whatever is put in the box belongs to them, because it is their vessel in the Muslim home.
If the family members see an example among them fasting on al-Ayyaam al-Beed (the 13th, 14th and 15th of each Hijri month), Mondays and Thursdays, Taasooâaaâ and âAashooraaâ (the 9th and 10th of Muharram), âArafaah, and frequently in Muharram and Shaâbaan, this will be a motive for them to do likewise.
Paying attention to adhkaar and Sunnah duâaaâs that have to do with the home
Adkhaar for entering the home:
Muslim reported in his Saheeh that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âWhen any one of you enters his home and mentions the Name of Allaah when he enters and when he eats, the Shaytaan says: âYou have no place to stay and nothing to eat here.â If he enters and does not mention the name of Allaah when he enters, [the Shaytaan] says, âYou have a place to stay.â If he does not mention the name of Allaah when he eats, [the Shaytaan says], âYou have a place to stay and something to eat.ââ (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, al-Musnad, 3/346; Muslim, 3/1599).
Abu Dawood reported in his Sunan that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âIf a man goes out of his house and says, âBismillaah, tawakkaltu âala Allaah, laa hawla wa laa quwwata illaa Billaah (In the name of Allaah, I put my trust in Allaah, there is no help and no strength except in Allaah),â it will be said to him, âThis will take care of you, you are guided, you have what you need and you are protected.â The Shaytaan will stay away from him, and another shaytaan will say to him, âWhat can you do with a man who is guided, provided for and protected?ââ (Reported by Abu Dawood and al-Tirmidhi. Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, no. 499)
Siwaak
Imaam Muslim reported in his Saheeh that âAaâishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: âWhen the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) entered his house, the first thing he would do was use siwaak.â (Reported by Muslim, Kitaab al-Tahaarah, chapter 15, no. 44).
Continuously reciting Soorat al-Baqarah in the house to ward off the Shaytaan
There are a number of ahaadeeth concerning this, such as:
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âDo not make your houses into graves. The Shaytaan flees from a house in which Soorat al-Baqarah is recited.â (Reported by Muslim, 1/539)
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âRecite Soorat al-Baqarah in your houses, for the Shaytaan does not enter a house in which Soorat al-Baqarah is recited.â (Reported by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak. 1/561; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 1170).
Concerning the virtues of the last two aayaat of this soorah, and the effect of reciting them in oneâs house, he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âAllaah wrote a document two thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth, which is kept near the Throne, and He revealed two aayaat of it with which He concluded Soorat al-Baqarah. If they are recited in a house for three consecutive nights, the Shaytaan will not approach it.â (Reported by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 4/274, and others. Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 1799).
Islamic Knowledge in the home
Teaching the family
This is an obligation which the head of the household must undertake, in obedience to the command of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): âO you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stonesâŚâ [al-Tahreem 66:6]. This aayah is the basic principle regarding the teaching and upbringing of one's family, and enjoining them to do what is good and forbidding them to do what is evil. There follow some of the comments of the mufassireen on this aayah, in so far as it pertains to the duties of the head of the household.
Qutaadah said: âHe should command them to obey Allaah, and forbid them to disobey Him, and direct them in accordance with the commands of Allaah, and help them to do that.â
Dahhaak and Muqaatil said: âIt is the Muslimâs duty to teach his family, including relatives and female slaves, what Allaah has enjoined upon them and what He has forbidden.â
âAli (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: âTeach them and discipline them.â
Al-Tabari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: âWe must teach our children and wives the religion and goodness, and whatever they need of good manners. If the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to urge the teaching of female servants, who were slaves, what do you think about your children and wives, who are free?â
Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his Saheeh: âChapter: a manâs teaching his female slaves and wife.â Then he quoted the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): âThere are three who will have two rewards: ⌠a man who has a female slave whom he teaches good manners and teaches her well, and teaches her knowledge, and teaches her well, then he frees her and marries her: he will have two rewards.â
Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, commenting on this hadeeth: âThe chapter heading refers specifically to female slaves, and to wives by analogy, i.e., teaching oneâs free wife about her duties towards Allaah and the Sunnah of His Messenger is more clearly essential than teaching one's female slaves.â
In the midst of all a manâs activities, work and other commitments, he may forget to allow himself time for teaching his wife. One solution to this is to allocate some time for the family, and even for others such as relatives, to hold a study-circle at home. He can let everyone know the time and encourage them to come regularly, so that it will be an ongoing commitment for him and for them. Something similar happened at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: âChapter: can the women be given a day exclusively for them to seek knowledgeâ? and quoted the hadeeth of Abu Saâeed al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased with him): âThe women said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): âThe men always crowd us out and we cannot reach you, so set aside a day for us when we can come to you.â So he set aside a day when he would meet them and teach them.â
Ibn Hajar said: âA similar report was narrated by Sahl ibn Abi Saalih from Abu Hurayrah, according to which [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)] said: âYour appointment is in the house of so and so,â and he came to them and spoke to them.ââ
What we learn from this is that women should be taught in their houses, and we see how keen the women of the Sahaabah were to learn. Directing teaching efforts to men alone, and not to women, is a serious shortcoming on the part of daiâyahs and heads of households.
Some readers may ask, suppose we set aside a day, and tell our families about it â what should we study in these gatherings? Where do we begin?
I suggest that you begin with a simple program to teach your family in general, and the women in particular, using the following books:
The tafseer of al-âAllaamah Ibn Saâdi, entitled Tayseer al-Kareem al-Rahmaan fi Tafseer Kalaam al-Mannaan, which is published in seven volumes and is written in an easy style; you can read it or teach somes soorahs and passages from it.
Riyaadh al-Saaliheen â you coul discuss the ahaadeeth quoted, along with the footnotes and the lessons learned from them. You could also refer to the book Nuzhat al-Muttaqeen.
Hasan al-Uswah bimaa thubita âan Allaahi wa Rasoolihi fiâl-Nuswah, by al-âAllaamah Siddeeq Hasan Khaan.
It is also important to teach women some of the ahkaam of fiqh, such as the rulings on tahaarah (purity) and menstrual and post-partum bleeding, salaah, zakaah, siyaam (fasting) and hajj, if she is able to go; some of the rulings on food and drink, clothing and adornment, the sunan al-fitrah, rulings on mahaarim (who is a mahram relative and who is not), rulings on singing and photography, and so on. Among the important sources of such information are the fatwas (rulings or edicts) of the scholars, such as the collections of fatwas by Shaykh âAbd al-âAzeez ibn Baaz and Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-âUthaymeen, and other scholars, whether they are written fatwas or fatwas recorded on tapes.
Another matter that may be included in a syllabus for teaching women and family members is reminding them of lessons or public lectures given by trustworthy scholars and seekers of knowledge which they can attend, so they can have a variety of excellent sources for learning. We should not forget either the radio programs of Idhaaâat al-Qurâaan al-Kareem; another means of teaching is reminding family members of the particular days when women can attend Islamic bookstores, and taking them there, within the guidelines of shareeâah *
Start building an Islamic âlibraryâ in your home
Another thing that will help in teaching your family and letting them develop a understanding of their religion and help them adhere to its rules, is having oneâs own Islamic library at home. It does not have to be extensive; what matters is choosing good books, putting them in a place where they are readily accessible, and encouraging family members to read them.
You could put books in a clean and tidy corner of the living room, and in a suitable place in a bedroom or guest room; this will make it easy for any member of the family to read constantly.
In order to build a library properly â and Allaah loves things to be done properly â you should include references so that family members can research various matters and children can use them for their studies. You should also include books of varying levels, so that old and young, men and women can all use them. You should also have books for giving to guests, childrenâs friends and family visitors, but try to get books that are attractively presented, edited properly and with the sources and classification of the ahaadeeth properly given. You can make the most of Islamic bookstores and exhibitions to build a home library, after consulting and seeking advice from those who have experience in the field of books. One way in which you can help family members to find a book when they want it is to organize the books according to subject, with books of Tafseer on one shelf, books of hadeeth on another, fiqh on a third, and so on. One of the family members could also compile alphabetical or subject indexes of the library, to make it easier to look for books.
Many of those who want to start a home library may ask for titles of Islamic books. Here are a few suggestions:
Tafseer:
Tafseer Ibn Katheer
Tafseer Ibn Saâdi
Zubdat al-Tafseer by al-Ashkar
Badaaâiâ al-Tafseer by Ibn al-Qayyim
Usool al-Tafseer by Ibn âUthaymeen
Lamahaat fi âUloom al-Qurâaan by Muhammad al-Sabbaagh
Hadeeth
Saheeh al-Kalim al-Tayyib
âAml al-Muslim fiâl-Yawm waâl-Laylah (or: Al-Saheeh al-Musnad min Adhkaar al-Yawm waâl-Laylah)
Riyaadh al-Saaliheen and its commentary Nuzhat al-Muttaqeen
Mukhtasar Saheeh al-Bukhaari by al-Zubaydi
Mukhtasar Saheeh Muslim by al-Mundhiri and al-Albaani
Saheeh al-Jaamiâ al-Sagheer
Daâeef al-Jaamiâ al-Sagheer
Saheeh al-Targheeb waâl-Tarheeb
Al-Sunnah wa Makaanatuhaa fiâl-Tashreeâ
Qawaaâid wa fawaaâid min al-Arbaâeen al-Nawawiyyah by Naazim Sultaan
âAqeedah
Fath al-Majeed Sharh Kitaab al-Tawheed (edited by al-Arnaaâoot)
Aâlaam al-Sunnah al-Manshoorah by al-Hakami (ed.)
Sharh al-âAqeedah al-Tahhaawiyyah, edited by al-Albaani
The series on âAqeedah by Umar Sulaymaan al-Ashqar in 8 parts
Ashraat al-Saaâah by Dr. Yoosuf al-Waabil
Fiqh
Manaar al-Sabeel by Ibn Duwiyyaan
Irwaâ al-Ghaleel by al-Albaani
Zaad al-Maâaad
al-Mughni by Ibn Qudaamah
Fiqh al-Sunnah [also available in English translation]
Al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi by Saalih al-Fawzaan
Collections of fatwas by different scholars (âAbd al-âAzeez ibn Baaz, Muhammad Saalih al-âUthaymeen, âAbd-Allaah ibn Jibreen)
Sifat Salaah al-Nabi (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) by Shaykh al-Albaani and Shaykh âAbd al-âAzeez ibn Baaz [available in English under the title The Prophetâs Prayer Described]
Mukhtasar Ahkaam al-Janaaâiz by al-Albaani
Good manners and purification of the soul:
Tahdheeb Madaarij al-Saalikeen
Al-Fawaaâid
Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi
Tareeq al-Hijratayn wa Baab al-Saâaadatayn
Al-Waabil al-Sayib
Raafiâ al-Kalim al-Tayyib by Ibn al-Qayyim
Lataaâif al-Maâaarif by Ibn Rajab
Tahdheeb Mawâizat al-Muâmineen
Ghadhaaâ al-Albaab
Seerah and biographies
Al-Bidaayah waâl-Nihaayah by Ibn Katheer
Mukhtasar al-Shamaaâil al-Muhammadiyyah by al-Tirmidhi, abridged by al-Albaani
Al-Raheeq al-Makhtoom by al-Mubaarakpoori [available in English translation]
Al-âAwaasim min al-Qawaasim by Ibn al-âArabi, ed. by al-Khateeb and al-Istanbooli
Al-Mujtamaâ al-Madani (2 vols.) by Shaykh Akram al-âUmari [available in English under the title Madinan Society at the Time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)]
Siyar Aâlam al-Nubalaâ
Minhaj Kitaabat al-Taareekh al-Islaami by Muhammad ibn Saamil al-Salami
There are many other good books on various topics, such as those by:
Shaykh Muhammad ibn âAbd al-Wahhaab
Shaykh âAbd al-Rahmaan ibn Naasir al-Saâdi
Shaykh âUmar Sulaymaan ibn Ashqar
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ahmad ibn Ismaaâeel al-Muqaddim
Prof. Muhammad Muhammad Husayn
Shaykh Muhammad Jameel Zayno
Prof. Husayn al-âAwayishahâs books on al-Raqaaâiq (topics to soften the heart and strengthen eemaan)
Al-Eemaan by Muhammad Naâeem Yaaseen
Al-Walaaâ waâl-Baraaâ by Shaykh Muhammad Saâeed al-Qahtaani [available in English translation]
Al-Inhiraafaat al-âAqdiyyah fiâl-Qarnayn al-Thaani âAshara waâl-Thaalith âAshara by âAli ibn Bukhayt al-Zahraani
Al-Muslimoon wa Zaahirat al-Hazeemah al-Nafsiyyah by âAbd-Allaah al-Shabaanah
Al-Marâah bayn al-Fiqh waâl-Qaanoon by Mustafa al-Sibaaâi
Al-Usrah al-Muslimah amaam al-video waâl-tilifiziyon by Marwaan Kijik
Al-Marâah al-Muslimah Iâdaadaatuhaa wa masâooliyaatuhaa by Ahmad Abu Bateen
Masâooliyat al-Abb al-Muslim fi Tarbiyat Waladihi by âAdnaan Baahaarith
Hijaab al-Muslimah by Ahmad al-Baaraazi
Wa Jaaâa Dawr al-Maajoos by âAbd-Allaah Muhammad al-Ghareeb
Books by Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd
Abhaath al-Shaykh Mashoor Hasan Salmaan
There are many other useful, good books â what we have mentioned is only by way of example, and is by no means a complete list. There are also many useful pamphlets and booklets, but it would take too long to list everything. The Muslim should consult others and think hard. Whomever Allaah wishes good for, He helps him to understand His religion.
Home audio library
Having a cassette player in every home may be used for good or for evil. How can we use it in a manner that is pleasing to Allaah?
One of the ways in which we can achieve this is to have a home audio library containing good Islamic tapes by scholars, fuqahaâ, lecturers, khateebs and preachers.
Listening to tapes of Qurâaan recitation by some Imaams, for example those recorded during Taraaweeh prayers, will have a great impact on family members, whether by impressing upon them the meanings of the Revelation, or by helping them to memorize Qurâaan because of repeated listening. It will also protect them by letting them hear Qurâaanic recitation rather than the music and singing of the Shaytaan, because it is not right for the words of al-Rahmaan (Allaah) to be mixed with the music of the Shaytaan in the heart of the believer.
Tapes of fatwas may have a great effect on family members and help them to understand various rulings, which will have an impact on their daily lives. We suggest listening to tapes of fatwas given by scholars such as Shaykh âAbd al-âAzeez ibn Baaz, Shaykh Muhammad Naasir al-Deen al-Albaani, Shaykh Muhammad al-âUthaymeen, Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan, and other trustworthy scholars.
Muslims must also pay attention to the sources from which they take fatwas, because this is the matter of religion, so look to where you take your religion from. You should take it from someone who is known to be righteous and pious, who bases his fatwas on sound ahaadeeth, who is not fanatical in his adherence to a madhhab, who follows sound evidence and adheres to a middle path without being either extreme or too lenient. Ask an expert. â⌠Allaah, Most Gracious: ask, then about Him of any acquainted (with such things).â [al-Furqaan 25:59 â interpretation of the meaning â Yusuf Aliâs translation].
Listening to lectures by those who are striving to raise the awareness of the ummah, establish proof and denounce evil, is very important for establishing individual personalities in the Muslim home.
There are many tapes and lectures, and the Muslim needs to know the features of the sound methodology so as to distinguish sound lecturers from others and look for their tapes, which they can listen to with confidence. Among these features are:
The lecturer should be a believer in the âaqeedah of the Saved Group, Ahl al-Sunnah waâl-Jamaaâah, adhering to the Sunnah and firmly rejecting bidâah. The speaker should be moderate, neither extremist nor lenient.
He should base his talks on sound ahaadeeth, and beware of weak and fabricated ahaadeeth.
He should have insight into peopleâs situations and the realities of the ummah, and should offer the appropriate remedy for any problem, giving the people what they need.
He should speak the truth as much as he can, and not utter falsehood or please the people by angering Allaah.
We often find that tapes for children have a great influence on them, whether by helping them to memorize Qurâaan by listening to a young reader, or duâaaâs to be recited at various times of day and night, or Islamic manners, or nasheeds (religious âsongsâ with no instrumental accompaniment) with a useful message, and so on.
Putting tapes in drawers in an organized fashion will make it easier to find them, and will also protect them from getting damaged or from being played with by young children. We should distribute good tapes by giving or lending them to others after listening to them. Having a recorder in the kitchen will be very useful for the lady of the house, and having a recorder in the bedroom will help a person make good use of time until the last moments of the day.
Inviting good and righteous people and seekers of knowledge to visit the home.
âMy Lord! Forgive me, and my parents, and him who enters my home as a believer, and all the believing men and womenâŚâ [Nooh 71:28 â interpretation of the meaning].
If people of faith enter your home, it will increase in light (noor), and will bring many benefits because of your conversations and discussion with them. The bearer of musk will either give you some, or you will buy from him, or you will find that he has a pleasant scent. When children, brothers and parents sit with such visitors, and women listen from behind a curtain or screen to what is said, this offers an educational experience to all. If you bring good people into your home, by doing so you keep bad people from coming in a wreaking havoc.
Learning the Islamic rulings with regard to houses.
These include:
Praying in the house
With regard to men, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âThe best of prayer is a manâs prayer in his house â apart from the prescribed prayers.â (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, no. 731).
It is obligatory to pray (the five daily prayers) in the mosque, except if there is a valid excuse. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also said: âA manâs voluntary prayers in his house will bring more reward than his voluntary prayers at other peopleâs places, just as his obligatory prayers with the people are better than his obligatory prayers alone.â (Reported by Ibn Abi Shaybah. Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 2953).
With regard to women, the deeper inside her home her place of prayer is, the better, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âThe best prayer for women is [that offered] in the furthest part of their houses.â (Reported by al-Tabaraani. Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 3311).
A man should not be led in prayer in his own home, and no one should sit in the place where the master of the house usually sits, except with his permission. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âA man should not be led in prayer in his place of authority, and no one should sit in his place in his house, except with his permission.â (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 2772). I.e., no one should go forward to lead him in prayer, even if they recite Qurâaan better than he does, in a place that he owns or where he has authority, such as a householder in his home, or an imaam in a mosque. Similarly, it is not permitted to sit in the private spot of the head of the master of the house, such as a bed or mattress, etc., except with his permission.
Seeking permission to enter.
âO you who believe! Enter not houses other than your own, until you have asked permission and greeted those in them, that is better for you, in order that you may remember. And if you find no one therein, still, enter not until permission has been given. And if you are asked to go back, go back, for it is purer for you. And Allaah is All-Knower of what you do.â [al-Noor 24:27-28 â interpretation of the meaning].
â⌠so enter houses through their proper doorsâŚâ [al-Baqarah 2:189 â interpretation of the meaning].
It is permissible to enter houses that are empty if one has some legitimate business there, such as a house prepared for guests. âThere is no sin on you that you enter (without taking permission) houses uninhabited (i.e., not possessed by anybody), (when) you have any interest in them. And Allaah has knowledge of what you reveal and what you conceal.â [al-Noor 24:29 â interpretation of the meaning].
Not feeling too shy to eat in the houses of friends and relatives, and in houses of friends and relatives and others to which one has the keys, if they have no objection to that. âThere is no restriction on the blind, nor any restriction on the lame, nor any restriction on the sick, nor on yourselves, if you eat from your houses, or the houses of your fathers, or the houses of your mothers, or the houses of your brothers, or the houses of your sisters, or the houses of your fatherâs brothers, or the houses of your fatherâs sisters, or the houses of your motherâs brothers, or the houses of your motherâs sisters, or (from that) whereof you hold keys, or (from the house) of a friend. No sin on you whether you eat together or apartâŚâ [al-Noor 24:61].
Telling children and servants not to barge in to the parentsâ bedroom without permission at the times when people usually sleep, i.e., before Fajr, at siesta time and after âIshaâ, lest they see something inappropriate. If they see something accidentally at other times, this is forgivable, because they are tawwaafeen (those who go about in the house) and it is difficult to stop them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): âO you who believe! Let your legal slaves and slave-girls, and those among you who have not come to the age of puberty ask your permission (before they come to your presence) on three occasions: before Fajr prayer, and while you put off your clothes for the noonday (rest), and after the âIsha prayer. (These) three times are of privacy for you; other than these times there is no sin on you or on them to move about, - attending (helping) you each other. Thus Allaah makes clear the aayaat (verses of this Qurâaan, showing proofs for the legal aspects of permission for visits, etc.) to you. And Allaah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.â [al-Noor 24:57].
It is forbidden to look into the houses of other people without their permission. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âWhoever looks into someoneâs house without their permission, put his eyes out, and there is no diyah or qisaas [blood money or retaliation] in this case.â (Reported by Ahmad, al-Musnad, 2/385; Saheeh al-Jaami, 6046).
A woman who has been divorced by talaaq for a first or second time [and could still go back to her husband] should not leave or be made to leave her home during the âiddah, and she should still be supported financially. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): âO Prophet! When you divorce women, divorce them at their âiddah (prescribed periods), and count (accurately) their âiddah (periods). And fear Allaah your Lord (O Muslims), and turn them not out of their (husbandâs) homes, nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case they are guilty of some open illegal sexual intercourse. And those are the set limits of Allaah. And whoever transgresses the set limits of Allaah, then indeed he has wronged himself. You (the one who divorces his wife) know not, it may be that Allaah will afterward bring some new thing to pass (i.e., to return her back to you, if this as the first or second divorce).â [al-Talaaq 65:1]
It is permissible for a man to forsake his rebellious wife inside or outside the home, according to the interests prescribed by shareeâah in any given case. The evidence for forsaking her inside the home is the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): â⌠refuse to share their bedsâŚâ [al-Nisaâ 4:34]. With regard to forsaking women outside the home, this is what happened when the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forsook his wives, leaving them in their apartments and staying in a room outside the houses of his wives. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-Talaaq, Baab fiâl-Eelaaâ).
One should not stay alone overnight in the house. Ibn âUmar (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade being alone and said that a man should not stay overnight alone or travel alone. (Reported by Ahmad in al-Musnad, 2/91). This is because of the feelings of loneliness etc., that come from being alone, and also because of the possibility of attacks by enemies or robbers, or the possibility of sickness. If one has a companion, he can help fight off attacks, and can help if one gets sick. (See al-Fath al-Rabbaani, 5/64).
Not sleeping on the roof of a house that has no protecting wall, lest one fall. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âWhoever sleeps on the roof of a house that has no protecting wall, nobody is responsible for what happens to him.â (Reported by Abu Dawood, al-Sunan, no. 5041; Saheeh al-Jaami, 6113; its commentary is in âAwn al-Maâbood, 13/384). This is because one who is asleep may roll over in his sleep, and if there is no wall he may fall off the roof and be killed. In such a case, nobody would be to blame for his death; or his negligence would cause Allaah to lift His protection from him, because he did not take the necessary precautions. The hadeeth may mean either.
Pet cats do not make vessels naajis (impure) if they drink from them, or make food naajis if they eat from it. âAbd-Allaah ibn Abi Qutaadah reported from his father that water was put out for him to make wudooâ, and a cat came and lapped at the water. He took the water and did wudooâ with it, and they said, âO Abu Qutaadah! The cat drank from it.â He said, I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: âCats are part of the household, and they are among those who go around in your houses.ââ (Reported by Ahmad in al-Musnad, 5/309; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 3694). According to another report he said: âThey [cats] are not naajis; they are among those who go around [al-tawwaafeen waâl-tawwaafaat â refers to children, servants, etc.] in your houses.â (Reported by Ahmad in al-Musnad, 5/309; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 2437).
Knowing the advantages of khushoo' in salaah
These include:
- The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âThere is no Muslim man who, when the time for a prescribed prayer comes, he does wudooâ properly, has the proper attitude of khushooâ, and bows properly, but it will be an expiation for all his previous sins, so long as they were not major sins (kabeerah). And this is the case for lifeâ (Reported by Muslim, 1/206, no. 7/4/2)
- The reward recorded is in proportion to the degree of khushooâ, as the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âA slave may pray and have nothing recorded for it except a tenth of it, or a ninth, or an eighth, or a seventh, or a sixth, or a fifth, or a quarter, or a third, or a half.â (Reported by Imaam Ahmad; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 1626).
- Only the parts of his prayer where he focused and concentrated properly will be of any avail to him. It was reported that Ibn âAbbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: âYou will only have from your prayer that which you focused on.â
Sins will be forgiven if you concentrate properly and have full khushooâ, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âWhen a slave stands and prays, all his sins are brought and placed on his head and shoulders. Every time he bows or prostrates, some of them fall from him.â (Reported by al-Bayhaqi in al-Sunan al-Kubraa, 3/10; see also Saheeh al-Jaamiâ). Al-Manaawi said: âWhat is meant is that every time a pillar (essential part) of the prayer is completed, part of his sins fall from him, until when he finishes his prayer, all his sins will be removed. This is in a prayer where all the conditions are met and the essential parts are complete. What we understand from the words âslaveâ and âstandsâ is that he is standing before the King of Kings [Allaah] in the position of a humble slave.â (Reported by al-Bayhaqi in al-Sunan al-Kubraa, 3/10; see also Saheeh al-Jaamiâ).
- The one who prays with khushooâ will feel lighter when he finishes his prayer, as if his burdens have been lifted from him. He will feel at ease and refreshed, so that he will wish he had not stopped praying, because it is such a source of joy and comfort for him in this world. He will keep feeling that he is in a constricting prison until he starts to pray again; he will find comfort in prayer instead of wanting just to get it over and done with. Those who love prayer say: we pray and find comfort in our prayer, just as their leader, example and Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, âO Bilaal, let us find comfort in prayer.â He did not say âLet us get it over and done with.â
- The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, âMy joy has been made in prayer.â So whoever finds his joy in prayer, how can he bear to look for joy anywhere else, or to keep away from it?
(Al-Waabil al-Sayib, 37).
Striving to offer duâaaâ at the appropriate times during the prayer, especially in sujood
There is no doubt that talking to Allaah, humbling oneself before Him, asking things from Him and earnestly seeking His help, all help to strengthen the slaveâs ties to his Lord and increase his khushooâ. Duâaaâ is an act of worship, and we are commanded to make duâaaâ. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): â⌠call upon Him in humility and in secretâŚâ [al-Anâaam 6:63]. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âWhoever does not call on Allaah, Allaah will be angry with him.â (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, Kitaab al-Daâwaat, 1/426; classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 2686).
It was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to make duâaaâ at specific places in the prayer, i.e., in sujood, between the two prostrations and after the Tashahhud. The greatest of these is in sujood, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, âThe closest that the slave can be to his Lord is when he is prostrating, so increase your duâaaâ [at that time].â (Reported by Muslim, Kitaab al-Salaah, Baab maa yuqaalu fiâl-rukooâ waâl-sujood. No. 215). And he said: â⌠As for sujood, strive hard to make duâaaâ in it, for it is bound to be answered for you.â (Reported by Muslim, Kitaab al-Salaah, Baab al-Nahy âan qiraaâat al-Qurâaan fiâl rukooâ waâl-sujood, no. 207).
One of the duâaaâs which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to recite in his sujood was: âAllaahummaâghfir li dhanbi diqqahu wa jillahu wa awwalahu wa aakhirahu wa âalaaniyatahu wa sirrahu (O Allaah, forgive me my sins, the minor and the major, the first and the last, the open and the hidden).â (Reported by Muslim, Kitaab al-Salaah, Baab ma yuqaalu fiâl-rukooâ waâl-sujood, no. 216). He also used to say, âAllaahummaâghfir li maa asrartu wa maa aâlantu (O Allaah, forgive me what I have done in secret and done openly).â (Reported by al-Nisaa'i, al-Mujtabaa, 2/569; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 1067).
We have already described some of the duâaaâs that he used to recite between the two sajdahs. (See section 11).
One of the things that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to recite after the Tashahhud is what we learn from the hadeeth: âWhen any one of you finishes the Tashahhud, let him seek refuge with Allaah from four things, from the punishment of Hell, from the punishment of the grave, from the trials (fitnah) of life and death, and from the evil of the Dajjal (âAntichristâ).â He used to say,
âAllaahumma innee aâoodhu bika min sharri maa âamiltu wa min sharri maa lam aâmal (O Allaah, I seek refuge with You from the evil of what I have done and the evil of what I have not done).â
âAllaahumma haasibni hisaaban yaseeran (O Allaah, make my accounting easy).â
He taught Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq (may Allaah be pleased with him) to say, âAllaahumma innee zalamtu nafsi zulman katheeran, wa la yaghfir al-dhunooba illa anta, faghfir li maghfiratan min âindaka warhamni innaka anta al-Ghafoor al-Raheem (O Allaah, I have wronged myself very much, and no one can forgive sin but You. Grant me forgiveness from You and have mercy on me, for You are the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful).â
He heard a man saying in his Tashahhud: âAllaahumma inne asâaluka yaa Allaah al-Ahad al-Samad alladhi lam yalid wa lam yoolad wa lam yakum lahu kufuwan ahad an taghfir li dhunoobi innaka antaâl-Ghafoor al-Raheem (O Allaah, I ask You O Allaah, the One, the Self-Sufficient Master, Who begets not neither is begotten, and there is none like unto Him, to forgive me my sins, for You are the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful).â He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to his companions: âHe has been forgiven, he has been forgiven.â
He heard another man saying, âAllaahumma innee asâaluka bi-anna lakaâl-hamd, laa ilaaha ill anta wahdaka laa shareeka lak al-Mannaan yaa badeeâ al-samawaati waâl-ard, yaa dhaaâl-jalaali waâl-ikraam, ya hayyu yaa qayyoom, innee asâaluka al-jannah wa aâoodhu bika min al-naar (O Allaah, I ask You as all praise is due to You, there is no god but You Alone, with no partner or associate, the Bestower, O Originator of the heavens and earth, O Possessor of Glory and Honour, O Ever-Living, O Self-Sustaining, I ask You for Paradise and I seek refuge with You from Hell).â The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to his companions: âDo you know by what did he ask Allaah?â They said, âAllaah and His Messenger know best.â He said, âBy the One in Whose hand is my soul, he asked Allaah by His greatest Name (ismuhuâl-aâzam) which, when He is called by it, He responds, and if He is asked by it, He gives.â
The last thing he would say between the Tashahhud and the Tasleem was: âAllaahummaâaghfir li maa qaddamtu wa ma akhkhartu wa maa asrartu wa maa aâlantu wa maa asraftu wa maa anta aâlam bihi minni antaâl-muqaddim wa antaâl-muâakhkhir, laa ilaaha illa anta (O Allaah, forgive me what I have done in the past, and what I will do in the future, and what I have concealed, and what I have done openly, and what I have exceeded in, whatever You know about more than I. You are the Bringer-Forward, and You are the Delayer, there is no god except You).â
(These duâaaâs and others, along with their isnaads, are to be found in Sifat al-Salaah by al-âAllaamah al-Albaani, p.163, 11th edn.)
Memorizing duâaaâs like these will solve the problem that some people have of remaining silent behind the imaam when they have finished the Tashahhud because they do not know what they should say.
Adhkaar to be recited after prayer
These also help to strengthen khushooâ in the heart and reinforce the blessings and benefits of the prayer.
Without a doubt, one of the best ways of preserving and protecting a good action is to follow it up with another. So the one who thinks about the adhkaar that come after the prayer will find that they begin with seeking forgiveness three times, as if the worshipper is seeking forgiveness from his Lord for any shortcomings that may have occurred in his prayer or his khushooâ. It is also important to pay attention to naafil (supererogatory) prayers, because they make up for anything lacking in the fard (obligatory) prayers, including any failure with regard to khushooâ.
Having discussed things that help us to have khushooâ, we now move on to a discussion of
Meetings at home
Removing anything that may distract the worshipper
Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: â âAaâishah had a decorated, colourful curtain which she used to cover the side of her house. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to her, âTake it away from me, because its decorations keep distracting me when I pray.ââ (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Baari, 10/391).
Al-Qaasim reported that âAaâishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) had a cloth with decorations on it, which she used to cover a small sunken alcove (used for sleeping or storage). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray facing it, and he said, âTake it away from me, because its decorations keep distracting me when I pray.â So she took it away and made pillows out of it.â (Reported by Muslim in his Saheeh, 3/1668).
Another indication of this is the fact that when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) entered the Kaâbah to pray in it, he saw two ramâs horns. When he had prayed, he told âUthmaan al-Hajabi, âI forgot to tell you to cover the horns, because there should not be anything in the House to distract the worshipper.â (Reported by Abu Dawood, 2030; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 2504).
This also includes avoiding praying in places where people pass through, or where there is a lot of noise and voices of people talking, or where they are engaging in conversations, arguments etc., or where there are visual distractions.
One should also avoid praying in places that are very hot or very cold, if possible. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us to delay praying Zuhr in summer until the hottest part of the day was over. Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: âPraying when it is intensely hot prevents a person from having the proper khushooâ and presence of mind, and he does his worship reluctantly, so the Prophet wisely told them to delay praying until the heat had lessened somewhat, so that they could pray with presence of mind and thus achieve the purpose of prayer, i.e., having khushooâ and turning to Allaah.â (Al-Waabil al-Sayib, Daar al-Bayaan edn., p.22)
Not praying in a garment that has decorations, writing, bright colours or pictures that will distract the worshipper
âAaâishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: âThe Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stood up to pray wearing a checkered shirt, and he looked at the patterns in it. When he had finished his prayer, he said, âTake this shirt to Abu Jaham ibn Hudhayfah and bring me an anbajaani (a garment with no decorations or checks), because it distracted me when I was praying.â According to another report: âThese checks distracted me.â According to another report: âHe had a checkered shirt, which used to distract him whilst he was praying.â (Reports in Saheeh Muslim, no. 556, part 3/391).
It is better not to pray in a garment that has pictures on it, and we should be especially careful to avoid garments with pictures of animate beings, like many garments that are widely available nowadays.
Not praying when there is food prepared that one wants to eat
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âDo not pray when there is food prepared.â (Reported by Muslim, no. 560).
If food has been prepared and served, or if it is offered, a person should eat first, because he will not be able to concentrate properly and have khushooâ if he leaves it and gets up to pray when he is wanting to eat. He should not even hasten to finish eating, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âIf the dinner is served and the time for prayer comes, eat dinner before praying Salaat al-Maghrib, and do not rush to finish your meal.â According to another report: âIf dinner has been put out and the iqaamah has been given for prayer, eat dinner first and do not rush to finish it.â (Agreed upon. Al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-Aadhan, Baab idhaa hadara al-taâaamu wa uqeemat al-salaah; Muslim, no. 557-559).
Not praying when one needs to answer the call of nature
No doubt one of the things that can prevent proper khushooâ is praying when one needs to go to the washroom. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade praying when one is suppressing the urge to urinate or defecate. (Reported by Ibn Maajah in his Sunan, no. 617; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, no. 6832).
If anyone is in this position, he should first go to the bathroom and answer the call of nature, even if he misses whatever he misses of the congregational prayer, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âIf any one of you needs to go to the toilet, and the prayer has begun, he should go to the toilet first.â (Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 88; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, no. 299)
If this happens to a person whilst he is praying, he should stop praying, go and answer the call of nature, purify himself then pray, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, âThere is no prayer when there is food prepared or if one is suppressing the urge to expel waste matter.â (Saheeh Muslim, no. 560). Without a doubt, this trying to suppress the urge takes away khushooâ. This ruling also applies to suppressing the urge to pass wind.
Not praying when one feels sleepy
Anas ibn Maalik said, âThe Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âIf any one of you feels sleepy when he is praying, he should sleep until he [is rested enough to] know what he is saying,â i.e., he should take a nap until he no longer feels drowsy. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, no. 210).
This may happen when one is praying qiyaam al-layl, at the time when prayers are answered, and a person may pray against himself without realizing it. This hadeeth also includes fard prayers, when a person is confident that he will still have enough time to pray after taking a nap. (Fath al-Baari, Sharh Kitaab al-Wudooâ, Baab al-wudooâ min al-nawm).
Not praying behind someone who is talking (or sleeping)
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade this; he said: âDo not pray behind one who is sleeping or one who is talking.â (Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 694; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, no. 375. He said, a hasan hadeeth).
- because one who is talking will distract the worshipper with his talk, and one who is sleeping may expose something that will distract the worshipper.
Al-Khattaabi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: âAs for praying behind people who are talking, al-Shaafa'i and Ahmad ibn Hanbal considered this to be makrooh, because their talk distracts the worshipper from his prayer.â (âAwn al-Maâbood, 2/388).
As regards not praying behind someone who is sleeping, a number of scholars thought that the evidence for this was weak (including Abu Dawood in his Sunan, Kitaab al-Salaah, Tafreeâ Abwaab al-Witr, Baab al-Duâaaâ, and Ibn Hajar in Fath al-Baari, Sharh Baab al-Salaah khalf al-Naaâim, Kitaab al-Salaah).
Al-Bukhaari, may Allaah have mercy on him, quoted the hadeeth of âAaâishah in his Saheeh, Baab al-Salaah khalf al-Naaâim: âThe Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray whilst I was lying across from him on his bedâŚâ (Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-Salaah).
Mujaahid, Taawoos and Maalik thought it makrooh to pray facing someone who was sleeping, lest he expose something that would distract the worshipper from his prayer. (Fath al-Baari, ibid.)
If there is no risk of that happening, then it is not makrooh to pray behind someone who is sleeping. And Allaah knows best.
Not occupying oneself with smoothing the ground in front of one
Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) reported from Muâayqeeb (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said concerning a manâs smoothing the ground when he prostrates, âIf you have to do that, then do it only once.â (Fath al-Baari, 3/79).
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âDo not wipe (the ground) when you are praying, but if you have to, then do it only once.â (Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 946; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, no. 7452).
The reason for this prohibition is so as to maintain khushooâ, and so that a person will not make too many extra movements in prayer. If the place where one is going to prostrate needs to be smoothed, it is better to do this before starting to pray.
This also applies to wiping the forehead or nose when praying. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to prostrate in water and mud, which would leave traces on his forehead, but he did not bother to wipe it off every time he raised his head from sujood. It remained there because he was so deeply absorbed in his prayer and his khushooâ was so strong that he took not notice of it. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âPrayer is an occupation in itself.â (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Baari, 3/72). Ibn Abi Shaybah reported that Abuâl-Dardaâ said: âEven if I were to get red camels, I would not like to wipe the gravel from my forehead.â âAyaad said: âThe salaf did not like to wipe their foreheads before they finished praying.â (al-Fath, 3/79).
Just as a worshipper should avoid anything that will distract him from his prayer, by the same token he should avoid disturbing others. This includes:
Not disturbing others with oneâs recitation
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âAll of you are speaking to your Lord, so do not disturb one another, and do not raise your voices above one another when recitingâ or he said, âin prayer.â (Reported by Abu Dawood, 2/83; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, no. 752). According to another report, he said, âDo not compete with one another in raising your voices when reciting Qurâaan.â (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 2/36; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 1951).
Not turning around during prayer
Abu Dharr (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: âThe Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âAllaah continues to turn towards His slave whilst he is praying, so long as he does not turn away, but if he turns away, [Allaah] turns away from him.â (Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 909; Saheeh Abi Dawood).
Turning away during prayer is of two types:
The turning away of the heart to something other than Allaah.
The turning away of the eyes.
Both of them are not allowed, and are detrimental to the reward for the prayer. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked about turning away during prayer, and he said: âIt is something that Shaytaan steals from a personâs prayer.â (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-Adhaan, Baab al-Iltifaat fiâl-Salaah).
The one who turns away with his heart or his eyes during prayer is like a man who is called by the ruler and made to stand before him, and when the ruler starts to address him, he turns away, looking to the right and the left, not listening to what the ruler is saying and not understanding a word of it, because his heart and mind are elsewhere. What does this man think the ruler will do to him?
The least that he deserves is that when he leaves the ruler, he is hated and no longer valued. One who prays like this is not equal to one who prays with the proper presence of mind, turning to Allaah in his prayer in such a way that he feels the greatness of the One before Whom he is standing, and he is filled with fear and submission; he feels too shy before his Lord to turn to anyone else or to turn away. The difference between their prayers is as Hassaan ibn âAtiyah said: âThe two men may be in one congregation, but the difference in virtue between them is as great as the distance between heaven and earth. One of them is turning with all his heart towards Allaah, whilst the other is negligent and forgetful.â (Al-Waabil al-Sayib by Ibn al-Qayyim, Daar al-Bayaan, p. 36).
As for turning away for a genuine reason, this is OK. Abu Dawood reported that Sahl ibn al-Hanzaliyyah said: âWe started praying â Salaat al-Subh (Fajr) â and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was looking at the ravine.â Abu Dawood said: âHe had sent a horseman at night to guard the ravine.â This is like when he carried Umaamah bint Abiâl-âAas, and when he opened the door for âAaâishah, and when he came down from the minbar whilst praying in order to teach them, and when he stepped back during Salaat al-Kusoof (prayer at the time of an eclipse), and when he grabbed and strangled the Shaytaan when he wanted to interrupt his prayer. He also ordered that snakes and scorpions should be killed even during prayer, and a person who is praying should stop and even fight one who wants to pass in front of him whilst he is praying. He told women to clap during prayer [if they spot a mistake on the part of the imaam], and he used to wave or gesture to people who greeted him whilst he was praying. These and other actions may be done in cases of necessity, but if there is no necessity, then they are just idle gestures that cancel out khushooâ and are therefore not allowed during prayer. (Majmooâ al-Fataawa, 22/559).
Not raising one's gaze to the heavens
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade us to do this and issued a warning against it. He said: âWhen any one of you is praying, he should not lift his gaze to the heavens, lest he lose his sight.â (Reported by Ahmad, 5/294; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, no. 762). According to another report, he said: âWhat is wrong with people who lift their gaze to the heavens whilst they are praying?â According to another report, he said: âthat they raise their gaze when they make duâaaâ during salaah?â (Reported by Muslim, no. 429). He spoke out strongly against it, to the extent that he said, âLet them stop it, or their eyesight will be taken away.â (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 5/258; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 5574).
Not spitting in front of one when praying
This is incompatible with khushooâ and good manners before Allaah. The Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âWhen any one of you is praying, let him not spit in front of himself, for Allaah is before him when he prays.â (Reported by al-Bukhaari in his Saheeh, no. 397).
He also said: âWhen any one of you stands up to pray, he should not spit in front of himself, because he is talking to Allaah â may He be blessed and exalted â as long as he is in his prayer place; and he should not [spit] to his right, because there is an angel on his right. He should spit to his left, or beneath his feet, and bury it.â (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, no. 416, 1/512).
He said: âWhen one of you stands to pray, he is talking to his Lord, and his Lord is between him and the qiblah, so none of you should spit in the direction of his qiblah, but to his left or under his feet.â (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath al-Baari, no. 417, 1/513).
If the mosque is furnished with carpets and so on, as is the norm nowadays, if a person needs to spit, he can take out a handkerchief or whatever, spit into it, and put it away again.
Trying not to yawn when praying
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âIf any one of you feels the urge to yawn during prayer, let him suppress it as much as he can, lest the Shaytaan enterâŚâ (Reported by Muslim, 4/2293). If the Shaytaan enters, he will be more able to disturb the worshipperâs khushooâ, in addition to laughing at him when he yawns.
Not putting oneâs hands on oneâs hips when praying
Abu Hurayrah said: âThe Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade putting the hands on the hips during prayer.â (Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 947; Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-âAml fiâl-Salaah, Baab al-Hadhr fiâl-Salaah).
Ziyaad ibn Subayh al-Hanafi said: âI prayed beside Ibn âUmar and I put my hand on my hip, but he struck my hand. When he had finished praying, he said, âThis is crossing in prayer. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to forbid this.â (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 2/106 and others. Classed as saheeh by al-Haafiz al-âIraaqi in Takhreej al-Ihyaaâ. See al-Irwaaâ, 2/94).
It was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said that this posture is how the people of Hell rest; we seek refuge with Allaah from that. (Reported by al-Bayhaqi from Abu Hurayrah. Al-âIraaqi said, its isnaad appears to be saheeh).
Not letting oneâs clothes hang down (sadl) during prayer
It was reported that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade letting oneâs clothes hang down during prayer or for a man to cover his mouth. (Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 643; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, no. 6883. He said, this is a hasan hadeeth). In âAwn al-Maâbood (2/347) al-Khattaabi said: âAl-sadl: letting one's clothes hang down all the way to the ground.â It was reported in Marqaat al-Mafaateeh (2/236): âAl-sadl is completely forbidden because it has to do with showing off, and in prayer it is even worse.â The author of al-Nihaayah said: âIt means wrapping oneself up in one's garment, leaving oneâs hands inside and bowing and prostrating in it.â It was said that the Jews used to do this. It was also said that al-sadl meant putting the garment over oneâs head or shoulders, and letting its edges come down in front and over oneâs upper arms, so that a person will be preoccupied in taking care of it, which reduces khushooâ, unlike garments that are tied up properly or buttoned, which do not distract the worshipper or affect his khushooâ. These kinds of clothes are still to be found nowadays in some parts of Africa and elsewhere, and in the way some Arabian cloaks are worn, which distract the worshipper and keep him busy adjusting them, retying them if they become loose and so on. This should be avoided.
The reason why it is forbidden to cover oneâs mouth was explained by the scholars as being because that prevents a person from reciting Qurâaan and doing sujood properly. (Marqaat al-Mafaateeh, 2/236).
Not resembling animals
Allaah has honoured the son of Adam and created him in the best way, so it is shameful for the son of Adam to resemble or imitate animals. We have been forbidden to resemble or imitate a number of postures or movements of animals when we pray, because that is contrary to khushooâ or because it is ugly and does not befit the worshipper who is praying. For example, it was reported that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade three things in prayer: pecking like a crow, spreading oneâs forearms like a carnivore, or always praying in the same place like a camel keeping to its own territory. (Reported by Ahmad, 3/428). It was said that when a man always prays in the same place in the mosque, making it his own, it is like a camel keeping to its own territory. (Al-Fath al-Rabaani, 4/91). According to another report: âHe forbade me to peck like a cockerel, to sit like a dog or to turn like a fox.â (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 2/311; Saheeh al-Targheeb, no. 556).
This is what we were able to mention about the means of attaining khushooâ, so that we may strive for them, and about the things that detract from khushooâ, so that we can avoid them.
There is another issue that has to do with khushooâ, to which the scholars attached so much importance that it is worthy of mention here:
Good manners at home
(21) Spreading kindness in the home.
âAaâishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: âThe Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âWhen Allaah â may He be glorified â wills some good towards the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them.ââ (Reported by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/71; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 303). According to another report: âWhen Allaah loves the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them.â (Reported by Ibn Abi al-Dunya and others; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, no. 1704). In other words, they start to be kind to one another. This is one of the means of attaining happiness in the home, for kindness is very beneficial between the spouses, and with the children, and brings results that cannot be achieved through harshness, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âAllaah loves kindness and rewards it in such a way that He does not reward for harshness or for anything else.â (Reported by Muslim, Kitaab al-Birr waâl-Sillah waâl-Aadaab, no. 2592).
(22) Helping oneâs wife with the housework.
Many men think that housework is beneath them, and some of them think that it will undermine their status and position if they help their wives with this work.
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), however, used to âsew his own clothes, mend his own shoes and do whatever other work men do in their homes.â (Reported by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/121; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 4927).
This was said by his wife âAaâishah (may Allaah be pleased with her), when she was asked about what the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to do in his house; her response described what she herself had seen. According to another report, she said: âHe was like any other human being: he would clean his clothes, milk his ewe and serve himself.â (Reported by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/256; al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, 671). She (may Allaah be pleased with her) was also asked about what the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to do in his house, and she said, âHe used to serve his family, then when the time for prayer came, he would go out to pray.â (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 2/162).
If we were to do likewise nowadays, we would achieve three things:
We would be following the example of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
We would be helping our wives
We would feel more humble, not arrogant.
Some men demand food instantly from their wives, when the pot is on the stove and the baby is screaming to be fed; they do not pick up the child or wait a little while for the food. Let these ahaadeeth be a reminder and a lesson.
(23) Being affectionate towards and joking with the members of the family.
Showing affection towards oneâs wife and children is one of the things that lead to creating an atmosphere of happiness and friendliness in the home. Thus the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised Jaabir to marry a virgin, saying, âWhy did you not marry a virgin, so you could play with her and she could play with you, and you could make her laugh and she could make you laugh?â (The hadeeth is reported in a number of places in the Saheehayn, such as al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 9/121). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also said: âEverything in which Allaahâs name is not mentioned is idleness and play, except for four things: a man playing with his wifeâŚâ (Reported by al-Nisaa'i in âUshrat al-Nisaâ, p. 87; also in Saheeh al-Jaamiâ). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to treat his wife âAaâishah affectionately when doing ghusl with her, as she (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: âThe Messenger of Allaah and I used to do ghusl together from one vessel, and he would pretend to take all the water so that I would say, âLeave some for me, leave some for me,ââ â and both of them were in a state of janaabah (impurity). (Muslim bi Sharh al-Nawawi, 4/6).
The ways in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) showed affection towards young children are too famous to need mentioning. He often used to show his affection towards Hasan and Husayn, as mentioned above. This is probably one of the reason why the children used to rejoice when he came back from travelling; they would rush to welcome him, as reported in the saheeh hadeeth: âWhenever he came back from a journey, the children of his household would be taken out to meet him.â He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to hug them close to him, as âAbd-Allaah ibn Ja;far said: âWhenever the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came back from a journey, we would be taken out to meet him. One day we met him, Hasan, Husayn and I. He carried one of us in front of him, and another on his back, until we entered Madeenah.â (Saheeh Muslim, 4/1885-2772; see the commentary in Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi, 8/56).
Compare this with the situation in some miserable homes where there are no truthful jokes *, no affection and no mercy. Whoever thinks that kissing his children goes against the dignity of fatherhood should read the following hadeeth: from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: âThe Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) kissed al-Hasan ibn âAli, and al-Aqraâ ibn Haabis al-Tameemi was sitting with him. Al-Aqraâ said: âI have ten children and I have never kissed any one of them.â The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) looked at him and said: âThe one who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.ââ
(24) Resisting bad manners in the home.
Every member of the household is bound to have some bad characteristics, such as lying, backbiting, gossiping and so on. These bad characteristics have to be resisted and opposed.
Some people think that corporal punishment is the only way to deal with such things. The following hadeeth is very educational on this topic: from âAaâishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: âIf the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to know that one of his household had told a lie, he would try to ignore him until he repented.â (See al-Musnad by Imaam Ahmad, 6/152. The text of the hadeeth is also in Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, no. 4675).
It is clear from the hadeeth that turning away and forsaking a person by not speaking to them, rather than resorting to punishment, is effective in such circumstances, and may be more effective than physical punishment, so let parents and caregivers think about this.
(25) âHang up the whip where the members of the household can see it.â (Reported by Abu Naâeem in al-Hilyah, 7/332; al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, no. 1446).
Hinting at punishment is an effective means of discipline, so the reason for hanging up a whip or stick in the house was explained in another report, where the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âHang up the whip where the members of the household can see it, for this is more effective in disciplining them.â (Reported by al-Tabaraani, 10/344-345; al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, no. 1447)
Seeing the means of punishment hanging up will make those who have bad intentions refrain from indulging in bad behaviour, lest they get a taste of the punishment. It will motivate them to behave themselves and be good-mannered. Ibn al-Anbaari said: âThere is nothing to suggest that it should be used for hitting, because [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)] did not command anyone to do that. What he meant was: keep on disciplining them.â (See Fayd al-Qadeer by al-Mannaawi, 4/325).
Hitting is not the way to discipline; it is not to be resorted to, except when all other means are exhausted, or when it is needed to force someone to do obligatory acts of obedience, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): â⌠As to those women on whose part you fear ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)âŚâ [al-Nisaâ 4:34] â in that order. There is also the hadeeth: âOrder your children to pray when they are seven years old, and hit them if they do not do so when they are ten.â (Sunan Abi Dawood, 1/334; see also Irwaâ al-Ghaleel, 1/266).
As for hitting unnecessarily, this is aggression. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised a woman not to marry a man because he always had his stick on his shoulder, i.e., he used to beat his wives. On the other hand, there are those who think that they should never use this method of discipline at all, following some kaafir educational theories; this is also a mistaken opinion that goes against the shareeâah.
Evils in the home
Beware of non-mahrem relatives entering upon women when their husbands are absent.
Men and women should sit separately during family visits.
Be aware of the dangers of having male drivers and female servants in the house.
Kick immoral people out of your houses.
Beware of the dangers of TV.
Beware of the evils of the telephone.
You have to remove everything that contains symbols of the false religions of the kuffaar or their gods and objects of worship.
Removing pictures of animate beings.
Do not allow smoking in your homes.
Do not keep dogs in your homes.
Avoid too much decoration in your homes (keep it simple).
The home inside and out
Choosing a good location and design of home.
No doubt the true Muslim pays attention to the choice and design of a home in ways that others do not.
With regard to location, for example:
The home should be close to a mosque. This has obvious advantages: the call to prayer will remind people of prayer and wake them up for it; living close to the mosque will enable men to join the congregational prayers, women to listen to the Qurâaan recitation and dhikr over the mosqueâs loudspeakers, and children to join study-circles for memorization of Qurâaan, and so on.
The home should not be in a building where there are immoral people, or in a compound where kuffaar live and where there is a mixed swimming pool and so on.
The house should not overlook others or be overlooked; if it is, he should put up curtains and make walls and fences higher.
With regard to design and lay out, for example:
He should pay attention to the matter of segregating men and women when non-mahrams come to visit, e.g. separate entrances and sitting areas. If that cannot be done, then use should be made of curtains, screens and so on.
Covering windows, so that neighbours or people in the street will not be able to see who is in the house, especially at night when the lights are on.
The toilets should not be sited in such a way that one faces the qiblah when using them.
Choosing a spacious house with plenty of amenities. This is for a number of reasons:
âAllaah loves to see the signs of His blessings on His slave.â (Hadeeth narrated by al-Tirmidhi, no. 2819. He said: This is a hasan hadeeth).
âThere are three elements of happiness and three elements of misery. The elements of happiness are: a righteous wife, who when you see her she pleases you, and when you are absent from her you feel that you can trust her with regard to herself and your wealth; a compliant riding-beast that helps you to keep up with your companions; and a house that is spacious and has plenty of amenities. The elements of misery are: a wife who when you see her you feel upset, she keeps attacking you verbally, and when you are absent from her you do not feel that you can trust her with regard to herself and your wealth; a stubborn riding-beast that if whip it, you get tired, and if you do not whip it, it does not help you to keep up with your companions; and a house with few amenities.â (Hadeeth narrated by al-Haakim, 3/262; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, no. 3056).
Paying attention to health-related matters such as ventilation, natural light and so on. These matters depend on financial ability and feasibility.
(38) Choosing the neighbour before the house.
This is a matter which has to be singled out for discussion because of its importance.
Nowadays neighbours have more impact on one another, because houses are closer together and people live together in buildings, apartments and compounds.
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us of four causes of happiness, one of which is a righteous neighbour, and four causes of misery, one of which is a bad neighbour. (Reported by Abu Naâeem in al-Hilyah, 8/388; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 887). Because of the seriousness of the latter, the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to seek refuge with Allaah from bad neighbours in his duâaaâ: âAllaahumma innee aâoodhu bika min jaar al-sooâ fi daar il-muqaamah fa inna jaar al-baadiyah yatahawwil (O Allaah, I seek refuge with You from a bad neighbour in my permanent home, for the neighbour in the desert * moves on).â He commanded the Muslims to seek refuge with Allaah from a bad neighbour in a permanent home because the neighbour in the desert will eventually move on. (Reported by al-Bukhaari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, no. 117; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 2967).
There is no room here to talk about the influence a bad neighbour may have on a couple and their children, or the kinds of nuisance he can cause, or the misery of living next to him. But applying these ahaadeeth quoted above to one's own life should be sufficient for the one who is possessed of understanding. Another practical solution is that implemented by some good people who rent neighbouring homes for their families, so as to solve the neighbour problem. This may be an expensive solution, but a good neighbour is priceless.
(39) Paying attention to necessary repairs in the home, and making sure that the amenities are in good working order.
Among the blessings of Allaah in this modern age are the âmod consâ that He has bestowed upon us, which make many things easier and save time, such as air-conditioners, fridges, washing-machines and so on. It is wise to have the best quality of appliances that one can afford, without being extravagant or putting oneself under financial strain. We should also be careful to distinguish between useful extras and extravagant additions that have no real value.
Part of caring for the home includes fixing appliances and amenities that break down. Some people neglect these things, and their wives complain about homes crawling with vermin, with overflowing drains and piles of stinking garbage, filled with broken and worn out furniture.
No doubt this is one of the obstacles to happiness in the home, and causes problems in the marriage and health problems. The smart person is the one who hastens to fix these things.
Paying attention to the familyâs health and safety procedures.
When any member of his family got sick, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would blow on them and recite al-Miâwadhatayn (last two soorahs of the Qurâaan). (Reported by Muslim, no. 2192).
When one of his family members got sick, he would call for soup, and it would be made for him, then he would tell them to drink it, and he would say, âIt will strengthen the heart of the one who is grieving and cleanse (heal) the heart of the one who is sick just as any one of you wipes the dirt from her face.â (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 2039; Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, no. 4646).
One of the ways of taking safety precautions is:
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âWhen evening comes, keep your children inside, for the shayaateen (devils) spread out at that time. Then when an hour of the night has passed, let your children go, lock the doors and mention the name of Allaah, cover your pots and mention the name of Allaah,even if you only place a stick across the top of your vessel, and extinguish your lamps.â (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 10/88-89).
According to a report narrated by Muslim, he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âLock your doors, cover your vessels, extinguish your lamps and tie your knots properly *, for the Shaytaan does not open a door that is closed, or uncover something that is covered, or untie a knot that you tie. And the mouse could set the house on fire (i.e. it could pull out the wick of the lamp and set the house on fire).â (Reported by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 3/103); Saheeh al-Jaamiâ, 1080).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: âDo not leave fires lit in your houses when you go to sleep.â (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 11/85).
And Allaah knows best. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
Bubble Buster
"The true EVIL lies in IGNORANCE, not in suspicion."*****
