Would you get into a relationship with someone if you don’t feel any sparks for the other person? Whose fault is it ..yours or the other person’s? You get along fine at the intellectual level and personality wise but if there are no sparks, would you make an effort to make the relationship work?
Are sparks natural, sign of immaturity or just a made-up thing.
Sparks don't happen immediately. In fact, out of all the couples I know, hardly any of them had any 'sparks' when they first met. I honestly think 'sparks', 'chemistry' and all that crap is part of Hollywood's unrealistic image of romance and love. Real love and 'sparks' develop over time. At least, that's the way I see it.
Also, people often confuse physical attraction or lust with sparks.
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Originally posted by MehnazQ: *
Of course. Sparks don't happen immediately. In fact, out of all the couples I know, hardly any of them had any 'sparks' when they first met. I honestly think 'sparks', 'chemistry' and all that crap is part of Hollywood's unrealistic image of romance and love. Real love and 'sparks' develop over time. At least, that's the way I see it.
Also, **people often confuse physical attraction or lust with sparks*.
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i totally agree.
I kind of agree with both the comments above. Sparks do the trick for the first couple of years. A couple should use these initial ignitions to fire up something somewhere in a corner that would last for a lifetime of warmth. But it is well known that physical sparks don't last as long as the internal ones.
Even if there were not any initial 'sparks', why not give the person a chance? This way, you really get to know somebody without having all those lustful emotions clouding your judgment. When the feelings do emerge, they will be based on substance and you'll have a solid foundation in place. You could grow to really love somebody this way.
sigh Maybe this is wishful thinking.
Sometimes there are some people, who one cant be physically attracted to.I do think physical attraction is important in a relationship.
Haaye haaye, hamaari MQ dhee raani bhi honsh-yaar hogaee hay.
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*Originally posted by Muslim_Queen: *
Sometimes there are some people, who one cant be physically attracted to.I do think physical attraction is important in a relationship.
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Hmm...I dunno about that...but I can definetly say that sometimes physical attraction can be very often mistaken for "love" and then it all get's messy after that.
LK, you are right. So right. So damn right.
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*Originally posted by lastknightess: *
Hmm...I dunno about that...but I can definetly say that sometimes physical attraction can be very often mistaken for "love" and then it all get's messy after that.
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In my opinion its very hard to think physical attraction is ever love.I dont mean physical attraction should be at the top of the list, I think it should be important in the list.Sure what kind of a person he is etc... his personality... matter a whole lot...but unless there is physical attraction...how can the relationship be healthy.
FG--- Tusi koi khaas gal ve kar leya karo.
koi khaas gal mili tey unno ve ker he lavangay.
It depends on the person. For some you have to be physically attracted to the person initially, for others as you get to know the person, they become more attractive to you..
“but unless there is physical attraction…how can the relationship be healthy”
Hmm.. well Queeny.. for me it works backward..I’m first and foremost attracted to wit and character, then the trust kicks in…then I start feeling all warm and fuzzy and then it leads me to sorta “check out the guy”..and then the heat is on 
Mehnaz, you are absolutely right. People grow to love eachother over time…but apparently the theory doesn’t register with most people who are in a rush to get married.
I wonder how growing to love someone is practical in a desi environment. It is kinda tricky cuz if you are taking your time then it is interpreted in different ways.. playing hard to get, wasting time or just not ready. There is even more pressure on the girls …they have to decide just by looking at the guy’s picture or having a meeting or two if there are any so called ‘sparks’ or not. Naturally, they compare the prospects to their favourite Hollywood/bollywood stars and the rest is a fairytale 
I think maturity in relationships is important before tying the knot… ‘sparks’ are just dumb!
I’m with LK on this one.
Fayz, it’s cause most people in the desi community get their knowledge from Bollywood. They expect to see a guy/girl and then break out into a song and dance by a romantic waterfall or in some secluded area in the woods. It doesn’t work like that in real life.
lol.LK I thought I was enough for you, and you’re ogling guys!:o Kidding.What I look at first is his lips -ok ok I’ll stop with my jokes.
I agree with you, I look at his level of intellect, his way of treating others with respect, his funny side, how he acts around people.But funny thing is, when you meet a guy, you can tell quite fast whether its possible to be attracted to him physically- or is it just me? Lile 50 B said its possible to get to know the person then get attracted to him.But how can you be attracted to a person you ‘dont’ know.
Arent we just assuming "sparks" are related to physical selves only??I have yet to meet someone(i dont think it will ever happen, sab log jhoot bholtay hain) that you fall in love at first sight. Ofcourse you get to know the person and then you get attracted to them or you dont. But I think there has to be some sort of "attraction". If the dude is really intelligent, well spoken and well mannered, but I am not attracted to him, uska mainay kia achar dalnaa hai?
Ira well some peole take longer to warm up to you...hnecethe sparks may fly after a few months and then turn into a full fledged fire....
I think it's all a matter of time... andhow muc you really care about each other
Sparks shouldn't hold much importance if at all any. Like many suggested, sparks don't last forever anyway.
I think personality plays an important role, especially for women looking out for hubbies/companions. Quite often I notice that desi men treat their wives like crap. Therefore, it's very important for women to go for men with brains and good personality rather than looks.
Besides, I'm sure if you go for a handsome man with a rotten personality, you'll eventually end up hating him and his looks would no longer mean a thing. You'd probably wanna run away from him.
This doesn't mean you go for the ugliest person around (ie. in your opinion) and wait for the chemistry to happen.
Re: There is no 'spark'
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*Originally posted by Fayz: *
Whose fault is it ..yours or the other person's?
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putting a finger on it makes it kinda messy or more stressful when it might not be, if there WERE sparks and not present anymore, then its good to ask.. if there were NO SPARKS and u TRYING to start sparks, thats a different thing.
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but if there are no sparks, would you make an effort to make the relationship work?
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sure.. providing u WANT to (or unless) an easy-catch, low-maintenance version came infront of u.. then its different) then, comparing factor should decide..
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Are sparks natural, sign of immaturity or just a made-up thing.
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i often treated (wrong i know) as signs of immaturity.. and a made-up thing.. after like 4 years it turns out, its a requirement (that people dont like to admit, or iffy about admitting), AND is a mature, NOT-madeup thing..
:-) hope that helped yaar