Why is there such a ‘them and us’ attitude between working mothers and those who stay at home?
Why do both sets feel that they need to prove or justify their choices to the other? Is it competitiveness or your own insecurity that makes it hard for both sets to mingle?
**Insecurities. Sometimes you just have
to do what needs to be done. What if a woman stayed home
raising her children for years and then the husband passes away
and she needs to go out there and make some dough. Does
that make her saintly in one period and a devil in the other.
I think fretting over such rubbish issues is a good time-occupier
for those who have nothing better to do with their lives.
Whichever category you fall in don't even bother gracing the
opponent with an answer.**
I’m not surprised if working women think they are the most intelligent thing ever happened to this planet and housewives think they are doing a much better job in raising kids.
As a rule of thumb, you have to justify all your choices in desi community. You are an outcast if you are different than the person who doesn’t share the same vision. The trend is common here (online) as well.
I think it's an ego and insecurity issue combined. A lot of women have a tendency to be very competetive with other women, which is what leads to these kinds of issues.
As a mother who worked the whole time raising her kids who are now older teens and adults, I think there is a lot of guilt on our part when something goes wrong. Inside we feel that it wouldn't have happened if only we didn't work. So that can make us real sensitive to criticism and quick to defend ourselves.
I think both ways have advantages and disadvantages. One is not better than the other. If you have to work, you have to work. If you have the luxury of sitting at home with your kids, you can do that also (yes, a bit of envy there :) ignore it).
People who judge the way others live tend to ignore the messes in their own lives or just want to make themselves feel better at the expense of someone else.
What about us men? Do you ever hear us complain? The other night I was at a party with Matsui, and a guy tells me that he advices young guys to find a high flying wife who makes a load of money, so the guy could stay home. That was one best piece of recommendation I have ever heard. The job of a woman should be Serve Serve and Serve. God made woman from a Man’s wakhee (ribs) and she should be thankful for that. There is nothing she can do to repay that debt.
However, I think that she should stay home for at least 48 hours after giving birth. Then straight back to work. If she is smart, she will time giving birth for wednesday, so she can make a long 4 day weekend.
Sorry, just had one of those days at work etc etc.
And the topic wasn't targeted at desi women in particular.....just mothers in general.
Madhanee, sweety maybe u need a good smack on the head with that “wakhee” to knock sum sense into u 
hehe