There is a Chinese proverb “The ugly wife is a treasure at home.” Let’s broaden it to include both husband and wife.
The thinking is that
For guys: a wife that is less good looking than you will treat you like a king while for a wife that is better looking you’ll have to stay on your tippy toes and keep her happy otherwise she will bounce knowing other guys would take her just on beauty alone
For girls: should go for guy that is less good looking than you if you want to be treated like a princess the guy knows he can’t get a better looking girl than you and will put in the effort to make you happy
Let’s discuss..guys would you want to marry a good looking wife but you’ll always have to put in effort to keep her happy or an average looking wife knowing she will treat you like a king..and girls how much do a husband’s looks matter to you?
And I know this forum is anti-generalizations but let’s just go along with the hypothetical situation developed by the Chinese and not focus too much on exceptions..
Ive had romantic relationships with beautiful pakistani girls..like girls that resembled Katrina Kaif and Aishwarya Rai..no joke..the initial attraction starts the relationship but it’s just too much to put up with these girls because they don’t give much in return but require a lot of effort..I can’t imagine keeping it up for the rest of my life. Looks don’t sustain a relationship. I’ve gotten that out of my system and don’t find it as appealing anymore.
I think I’m going to go for what others may consider an average looking girl with a decent and loving personality and live peacefully..and if she has a heart of gold, for me she will become beautiful from inside and out
I know a lot of unattractive guys married to really attractive women but they don’t give them special treatment, in fact it’s the other way around and the marriages were mostly out of choice, it’s more about personality for a man.
They obviously gave something in return but the point is the good looking girls require MORE effort than most girls and that they don’t give or put up with as much as most girls
Speaking just personally and not representing other girls here. For me, it’s never been about the way the guy looks. I’ve met guys who’ve looked super hot and the second they open their mouth it’s an immediate turn off. I realized very early on that i much prefer the personality of a man and the way he carries himself in comparison to the way he looks. For lack of words, i’ve always been told I’m kinda easy on the eyes so my friends always expected I’d end up with some super fit guy. But through my entire rishta process, every time my parents have brought up someone, I’ve immediately preferred the ones that had a sense of humor, career goals, respect and just a way to carry themselves even if they aren’t your conventional man-beautiful, you know?
And i would expect the same. 10-20 yrs down the line my looks will fade and then what? Will my future husband fall out of love with me because i won’t look like i did in my 20’s? The criteria for a partner has to be realistic. Sure, you have to be attracted to one another but what IS attraction, really? His sense of humor could be the hottest thing on earth and i wouldn’t give a damn if he was acne ridden. Heck, I’m a pharmacist, I’d make him a special concoction to help him out with that, lol because everything else about him makes him a keeper.
Maybe, i’m just crazy. My mom says I’ve made this whole rishta thing incredibly hard for her, and here i was thinking I’m a simpleton.
Vey good post, I’m on the same wavelength when it comes to any future spouse. Dolly birds aren’t worth the hassle - I’m more of a splash of cold water, 30 second moisturize and 1 minute do my hair kind of guy. My sister can take up to 3 hours in the bath, I could never live with someone like that. 3 hours!
3 hours?! Doesn’t she turn into a prune in there? lol. Hell no. Everyday office getting ready session consists of half an hour which is make up, clothes and hair and run out the door. Special occasions like weddings and stuff, I’d go the extra mile and make an effort which could run me an hour and a half. Also, good to know you have some realistic expectations for your spouse amongst all your other criteria. lol
