Re: the TALK!
Wj, dont be bothered by those who complain about your complaining lol! The internet is a very safe/anonymouse place to seek advice and thats exactly what you're doing - so dont be bothered by them - and to "them" - give her a break man!
ANYhoo. It will be the toughest thing ever but the best thing would be to lay things on the line and be perfectly frank and honest with them. Life in the west is VERY different from life in the east in EVERY way - from house design to affordability of household help, cooking, shopping etc. Quality Time with spouse can be non-existent, forget about THAT when your focus would be to have quality time with kids. They NEED to understand this, they need to come to terms with how life is "over here" as compared to "over there". And if they can come to the understanding of the difference between eastern living and western living, maybe maybe they would find it in their hearts to give you and your family the break that you need. Even if that turns out NOT to be the case, they still need to face the difference here. It WOULD be a lovely thing to be able to have extended family-type living here in the USA but it really isnt even a remote possibility unless you are a multi-millionaire, know what I mean?
Be honest and sincere without malice and just lay it out to them - as uncomfortable as it will be, it needs to be done. IMHO.