Have you ever wondered that there are a lot of aspects in our belief which we didn’t want to even consider in our past lives but they have now become part of our lives. It makes me wonder that if I consider it a “truth” now, why didn’t I accept it a few years ago. If a religious truth that touched Suhaba-e-rasool’s heart why doesn’t it touch the heart of many non-Muslims and even Muslims like me. Why do we take so much time in accepting / adopting them ?
When I analyzed my past I came up with few conclusions about myself that might have prevented me from the truth.
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I was “Ziddi” and biased. How come I can learn anything logical when I hold my container of wisdom upside down and hope that I might collect any wisdom from a wise man. I have to be sincere in accepting the faults in my understanding and acknowledging anything that touches the core of my heart, no matter from whom I am learning.
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Just like a patient with physical sickness rejects even the most beautiful, healthy and tasty food, when I made myself spiritually sick because of my own mistakes/sins in life, how can my spirit accept the beautiful spiritual meal our Prophet (saw) left for us. The only way to make my soul pure enough to be able to get the “taufeeq” (blessings of guidance) of benefiting from that spiritual meal was through sincere “taubah” (repentance) repeatedly and a new beginning of good deeds.
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The ultimate truth is achieved by having an urge for it and making selfless efforts for it. When I feared of the consequences of following those facts, it would prevent me from taking a brave step of practically adopting them until the time my belief on life after death becomes very strong. A strong belief would inshaAllah help me to even ignore all the luxuries that prevent us from following the truth.
I might be totally wrong, but this is the way I honestly feel and sincerely understand. Allah (swt) knows BEST!