Hypothetical situation:
What if I am practicing my right to refuse a rishta and my parents refuses to accept the choice. They decides to “wait me out” and allow me no other choice.
There is a hadiths that states it is the parents farz to give their child a good name, education and marry them when they reach maturity…if that child sins then the sin is that of the father.
Does this mean I have free license to sin?
Salam,
I don't think anybody has a "licence to sin". The Hadith only illustrates the responsibility and duty bestowed upon parents to educate their children and provide them with the teachings of Islam. Once parents have fulfilled their duty, and their children have reached a suitable age, the burden falls upon the child to live up to the ideals set by Qur'anic teaching. If they refuse to do so, the sin befalls upon them, not their parents - their parents job was done.
I am unclear to what your first statment regarding the "rishta" has to do with the second. Your parents should not be forcing you to marry someone who you do not approve of.
Achtung ;)
Dear buffy,
although knowingly comitting a sin belongs not to a god-fearing person, i think this rebellious attitude in you which makes you think you have a "license to sin" is to be blamed solely on your parents!
So be on watch for a day when heaven shall bring a manifest smoke
covering the people; this is a painful chastisement. 'O our lord remove thou from us, the chastisement; we are believers.' How should they have the reminder? seeing a clear Messenger has already come to them, then they turned away from him, and said,' A man, tutored, possessed!"
( the koran, verse 11-14, chapter 44, Smoke, the nuclear explosion.)
Buffy
I agree with jewels intentional sins are not excusable at anytime.
[This message has been edited by kashmirigirl (edited April 07, 1999).]
Achtung
Thanks, but you missed the hypothetical situation bit. So don’t worry about me.
I asked this not because of the rebelliousness I have but more so because when I read the hadith, I was surprised at how much pressure parents have in marrying their children off. But…I also wondered why aren’t people more aware of the rights of children instead of fixation on the cultural traditions.
I also thought that these hadith could be used to a child’s advantage….if parents are unwilling to comply with what is their duty…in the appropriate way then it becomes the child’s duty (i.e. to marry). The hadith may give a. children some margin of error and also pressure parents into making the more appropriate decision.
Honestly I don’t know what would be right and I’m talking not about murder.
The question that you posed here needs more thought. Parents today have neglected their responsibilities in marrying off their children to the best suitable rishta once the child becomes mature enough to get married.
Today, the girl's parents worry about whether the guy is a doctor, engineer, etc. Not how religious he is, as the Prophet(saaw) has told us. Also the guy's parents dont want the girl to wear Hijab or to be religious. This is the story in most cases, however, there are exceptions to every rule.
As far as going out and committing sin, that would not be blamed on the parents cuz the child (once matured) knows what is right and what is wrong. The parents would be held accountable for not getting the child married off early, once the child is matured.
wa'salaam.
ok
saallaaamm
WoW ny...u really make the point grow up...THE SIN IS SIN NO MATTER how u look at is weather its sin to and not to some one else....lets for example say that "I" Jaawan like to kill people innocent people ok and "You"nyahmedi dont ok...now to me killing is not a sin thats wat ur saying that i think killing is not a sin soo i can kill but when i get caoght of killing someone why does law say that im guilty and result is life in prison or death....hey the point is i dont think killing is sin soo why the hell You puting me in jail..try to understand..giving people understanding is in allah's hands..allah told us in quran(thats if u belive in quran) wat is right and wat is wrong...you cant just wake up say oh from now on killing and drinking and having sex before marriage is no sin...
now buffy the sin i think that your talking about is sex i have read a hadith about sex in muslim or bukhari sharif that if child has sex before marriage that sin is to his or her father..it does not mean that u have licence to sin no way....i ll put some more info as they come handy.....
JaaWaN
ok
In my opinion, in this hypothetical question, the real issue is, what does such a person do , if he (or she) doesn't want to violate some Islamic rules.
She should talk to her parents about this issue and if they decide to 'wait her out' (though, I am not sure how) she should go her own way and get her match herself. The parents don't have the right to be acting the way they are.
Now, if they hold some other power over such a person (or there are some other complexities) that they can force their wishes, then again they 'll be acting out of line of religion.
As a muslim, there are indeed some restrictions on whom the person can (or, can not) marry, but that's a different issue.
And Jaawan, I'd like to see a reference to the hadith you mentioned about pre-marital sex.
Regards.
[This message has been edited by deepblue (edited April 12, 1999).]
sallaam
ok deepblue u ll have wait for references as soon as i get it i ll post it sorry for inconvinence....ok nyahmide my prob wiht ur post was this ""Why can't it be simple, Good or Not Good (without any approval or stamp from religion). If it feels good, do it. If not, don't. What may be "sin" tosome, may not be "sin" to others.""
i have prob with the part in "" thats it could u explain it farther maybe i didnt understood u better.
Jaawan
But deep blue...
Our society does not allow people to "find" a rishta themselves. How can someone do it on their own,…parents do become involved at some time. What about girls needing a wali?
Also...isn't it easy in the course of looking, to fall into sin?
Isn't that why we avoid premarital guy-girl interactions?
[This message has been edited by buffy (edited April 13, 1999).]