There was a time of Hazrat Fatima (r.a) when a marriage with low expenses, less people & simple arrangements (no complications in dress/ preparations/ stage/ meal/ celebrations/ materialistic demands) looked easy & practicable for even the poor. Even rich people used to follow the Prophet’s way, contributing to a trend that facilitated everyone, while giving away most of their money as sadaqa (charity).
But today, more show off, israaf (wastage of money, efforts and time) has been made to look more practical, in order to save one’s “dignity” in front of people (while ruining it in front of ALLAH (SWT)).
By following the usual trend, my marriage might be considered successful by status conscious people but the universal rule remains the same:
When Nikah becomes expensive in a society in general, Zina (adultery) becomes cheap & vice versa.
The question to ask myself is “WHICH trend am I feeding with my personal example ?”
One thing I noticed when joining this forum is the amount of money people are spending on all the different functions for their wedding. I'm getting married soon insh'allah, so I completely appreciate how important it is, but spending hundreds of pounds on stage design or hall hire, decorations, catering, then clothes, jewellery, shoes etc etc... I was shocked at how much money people spend on this kind of thing.
I agree a simple wedding is the best way to do things. But I disagree with the idea that people who spend a lot of money on their weddings are showing off and saving their dignity; what it really is: is celebrating with the people you know a joyous occasion in your life.
i must look for references to this but my nani was telling me that in islam its also allowed 'Jaiz' to spend what Allah has given u, because he is the provider or all things, but do it in a way so ur not showing it off to anyone but just happy that u have nice things....so my opinion is, Alhamdolillah i have a certain amount that i will be spending on my wedding, nothing more (or less) and if i can afford a nice centre piece or a nice stage etc in that budget then i dont see why i shouldnt...im not doing it to show off im doing it because its going to make me happy and Allah has provided for it....alhamdolillah....
Sunnah will always be Sunnah, and obviously there are people who have lavish affairs but i just dont see why we should argue about what they are doing rather look at what WE ourselves are doing or should be doing.....i think its easier said than done, and this is a topic discused to death....its time to stop dwelling and move on....and May Allah guide us all inshAllah :D
