John, who is not the brightest fellow in the world, reads an advertisement touting how anyone and everyone can get smarter by undergoing a simple brain transplant at Brains R Us. John makes an appointment to learn more and is brought into a laboratory that has nothing but bottles of brains on many, many shelves. He notices that under each grouping of bottles there is a card listing a price.
He sees a card that says $5 per pound and asks his guide what those brains are. His guide replies, those are teachers’ brains and they are $5 per pound. He sees a card for $10 per pound and asks about them. His guide tells him that for $10 per pound he can get the brains of a computer programmer. John, wanting to get extremely smart, asks what he can buy for $100 per pound. His guide tells him that for $100 per pound he can get doctors’ brains.
John quickly chooses doctors’ brains but, as he is leaving the lab, he sees a single jar with a card showing a price of $1,000 per ounce. Curious, he asks his guide about them. The guide says, “those are lawyers’ brains.” John says: “Are lawyers really so smart that their brains are worth $1,000 per ounce.” His guide laughs loudly and says: “Not at all. But do you have any idea how many lawyers it takes for us to find an ounce of brains?”
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Finally, John notices a few jars of brains selling at 5 pounds for a dollar and he asks about them. His guide tells him that those are the cheapest brains because they are women’s brains. John asks if women are really that stupid that their brains are worth only 20 cents a pound. Incredulous, his guide tells him “heavens no. The reason our women’s brains are so cheap is that they have been used.”
