The pressure, nagging....Help needed badly!

Lifestyle Relationships
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Ok, so my story is not so different from most of the girls here, but here it goes…

I lost my mother when I was in my late teens, and right after she passed away,my relatives and family friends started talking about me getting married. I was too young, and was not ready back then. My dad was cool about it, and also supported my choice to finish my studies and getting a job etc.

All the while, there has been many proposals whom I´ve turned down because of many different reasons like relocating, height (im quite tall) and etc. I really dont want to import anyone from Pakistan because most of the result i have seen are bad.

Im done with studies and have a job. My dad is very content on getting me married by the end of this year! But the thing is, I like none of the 4 proposals i have.I know I can be picky, but Im also a very shy of nature so I dont approach guys. My father doesnt really understand what I want…And its hard to explain him when i dont have a mother around who are usually good at these stuff.When he sees no visible flaws in the guy then get really mad at me and it really scares me.For me chemistry counts more than any thing and the whole persona ofcourse.

But recently, I met a guy whom I really liked (he even lives in the same country), and he seems to really like me. Out of happinnes and joy, I told my dad that i may have found the right guy, and that he can stop talking about all those other rishtas. But lately, this guy has been really busy with his work, or so he says.I really like him and he did seem like a genuine person.We have only met once but we had daily contact on phone until last week when he had to go out of town due to work so we had almost no contact. He got back 2 days ago and promised to call me but he didn´t and Im starting to have doubts if he is just waisting my time. I dont know if its okay for me to text him or call him, i dont want to come across as a desprate and clingy one :confused:

What also worries me is what if this doesn´t work out, and i´ve already kind of refused the other rishtas, then im left with no other options and have to marry a guy from those rishtas and i really dislike them. I waited so long for the right one and i dont want to get marry for all the wrong reasons with the wrong guy and end up getting divorce after few months.

any advice would be really appreciated, im at the point of having a break down :teary3:

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Re: The pressure, nagging....Help needed badly!

I think the answer to that is quite obvious. You certainly need to find out more about the guy, in order to make an informed decision. But then in this fuzzy world, we never really know anyone. I would seriously suggest istakhara for this guy as well as the best of the bunch from the other 4 options presented to you.

good luck !!

some more advice please :+(
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Re: The pressure, nagging....Help needed badly!

Have a Plan B.

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Re: The pressure, nagging....Help needed badly!

How can u decide in one meeting that this is the guy u really want as ur partner. Talking on phone is not enuf. u hav got to see other's face expressions o judge them better.

Also sometimes we don't like someone intially but as we know them we like them better. u should obviously giv those other rishtas more time n thought. See what u don't like abt them. Make a list then read it several times so u can decide the things u dislike will affect ur life or they r minor things u can ignore n live with.

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Before we met , we were exchanging emails. He never asked for my picture once which i really admired. We got to know one another very well before decided to meet. Yes i know one time is not enough but those other proposals were big NO´s anyways.

And snowy_winter, i did do istkhara on all of them, and the guy i liked was the right one.

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Re: The pressure, nagging....Help needed badly!

Contact this man yourself instead of waiting for him to call u and tell him that you are intending to get married, does he share the same goal as you or not, if not, then bye-bye stop wasting my time, have a nice day.

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If you did see a good istakhara for the guy you like, then I would totally support your marrying that guy. Wishing you a very happy life !!

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Re: The pressure, nagging....Help needed badly!

You had Email contact with the one whom you like and want to be partner with , then meet him , found him good and appropriate one , had phone contact with each other, Some one made space in your heart and your thought came in his umbrella, Obviously no other would you deem suitable for you.
But , problem is that , he didnot contacted you and you are saying , "at least he could have texted me" , which he did not.
You are waiting for him and on other hand your other options are at stake on top of it you are saying I may loss this oportunity.

Are you getting me , if not All I want to say is as Rupay told
What are you waiting for contact him
plus ask his goals from his contact with you, do they coincide.?

What I want to add , just for sake of through analysis , omit him from your thoughts for some time or just suppose you had no relation with him or say it didnot work , then reconsider among the other 4 proposals and see what is your conclusion.

Hope you arrive soon to some decision and it works for you .

Best of luck!!