The following is for every guy who has gotten into a lot of trouble
without
fully understanding why. There is a point system which will make
everything
clear.
In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy.
There aren’t any other rules worth discussion.
Do something she likes and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get
any
points for doing something she expects… sorry, that’s the way the
game
is
played.
So here is a guide to the point system.
Simple, household duties…
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets(-1)
You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it’s empty(0)
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom
(-3)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it’s nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it’s something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
It’s her father (-10)Social Engagements…
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
drinking
buddy (-2)
Named Tiffany (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
Tiffany has implants (-30)
Her Birthday…
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
And it’s all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
painted
the
colors of your favorite team (-10)
A Night Out with The Boys…
Go out with a pal (-5)
And the pal is happily married (-4)
Or frighteningly single (-7)
And he drives a Mustang (-10)
With a personalized license plate “GR8 N BED” (-15)A Night Out…
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It’s called DeathCop3 (-3)
Which features cyborgs having sex (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)Your Physique…
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say “I don’t give a damn because you have one too” (-800)
The Big Question…
She asks, “Do I look fat?” (AUTOMATIC -5)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, “Where?” (-35)
Communication…
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what
looks
like a concerned expression (0)
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+10)
She realizes this is because you’ve fallen asleep (-20)