I’ve asked in the past “do you know of any inter-faith and inter-cultural marriages that went well”
So here’s a question about the other side; have you given up a serious long term relationship in the name of culture, religion and/or family to settle into an arrange marriage (or a marriage close enough to arrange)?
I’d like to ask also, if you did do this and get arrange married, did you ever have any regrets? What were the pros and cons that you weighed up? If you could you go back and change this part about your life, would you? I understand some people may have their spouses on the forums and not be comfortable answering these questions.
Did you ever tell your spouse about this? How did she (he) take it?
And the biggest question. Do you ever still talk to this person? I don’t mean in a shifty, text/email without anyone knowing way. But in a social setting or something.
Hmm interesting question. One of my best friends did. She was in a relationship for about 5 years with someone she desperately wanted to marry. Just didnt work out cos the couple didn't see it happening, there were too many differences between the families and neither couple could handle it.
She's married now and much happier than she would have been if she married the ex (well, I think anyways), esp because she's quite a family-orientated girl. It's a lot easier when you have the support of your family :/
IMHO theres no real need to inform your new partner about what went on in the past. You're with the person now. You're happy. You don't want to go back to the ex. Whats the need to bring up the past?
Some people however say "no thats not being honest" I think those people have never been in these situations.
And ofcourse I mean spontaneously saying "Oh btw I had a long time partner I was going to marry LOL guess I'm here with you now :)"
If they asked and you said "no", yes thats lying...but would you still lie?
Nope. she never told him, and I agree with that, the past is the past. Plus, in Islam a woman is entitled to keep her past private from her husband, esp if it has nothing to do with him and it's all done and dusted.
It's really up to the couple how honest they wanna be as well, some people would rather just not know as well.
if you were intimate with somebody else before your arrange marriage would you tell your future spouse? or would you take it with you to your grave? why/why not?
