Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you get him in a car, he sticks his head out the window?
Have you ever noticed? In a car, anyone going slower then
you is an idoit, and anyone going faster then you is a maniac.
The reason people play golf is to wear clothes they wouldn’t be caught dead in otherwise.
Any time two New Yorkers get in a cab together without arguing, a robbery has just taken place
Put six locks on your door, and when you go out, only lock every other one. If someone trys to pick your locks, they will always be locking three.
Why these ants in my dreams.
Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
The statistics on sanity say that one out of ever four Americans suffer from some kind of mental problem. So look at three of your friends, if they’re ok, then it has to be you.
Commercials show detergents taking out blood stains from clothes. If you have blood stains on your clothes, laundry isn’t the worst of your problems.
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I guess you’re eating the slow learners.
‘You can have your cake and eat it too.’ Who wants cake you can’t eat?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
‘It’s always in the last place you look.’ Of coarse it is, if you found it, why would you keep looking?
Why is there braille writing on a drive through ATM?
‘Can I ask you a question?’ You really didn’t give me much of a choice.
If a deaf person swears in sign language, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Is there another word for synonym?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
If a stealth bomber crashes in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, will it make a sound?
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is it homeless or naked?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why do kamakizie pilot’s wear helmets?
Why these ants still come in my dreams?
Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
101 Dalmations and Peter Pan are the only two Disney cartoon movies in which both parents are present and don’t die throughout the movie.
12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
A duck’s quack doesn’t echo.
A ‘jiffy’ is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
According to a British law passed in 1845, attempting to commit suicide was a capital offense. Offenders could be hanged for trying.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is ‘uncopyrightable’.
When opossums are ‘playing possum’, they are not playing. They actually pass out from sheer terror.
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
‘I am.’ is the shortest complete sentence in the english language.
An ostrich’s eye is bigger then it’s brain.
The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds.
Cat’s urine glows under a blacklight.
The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower then the lowest point in Colorado.
The first toilet ever seen on TV was seen on ‘Leave It To Beaver’.
The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
Amount American Airlines saved in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class: $40,000
Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
Average number of days German people go without washing thier underwear: 7
Average number of people airborne over the US at any given hour: 61,000
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches
Why these ants still in my dreams?
Please post non-sense stuff only… go somewhere else if you want to use your brain!!! just smileys posts completely ok!!!
bros !!