The Muslim Solution....

Society Religion & Philosophy
1

I have a question,

as you know my family lives in the US… we arent well off but we arent lacking anything either. Time to time my mom helps out back home.. my mamoo is particular was kidknapped and the ransom costs him his house and business, this was a decade ago. Ever since then mammoo has had a string of bad luck. My mom set him up to come to America but he screwed up the ppwrk by getting his interview changed to Japan or something.. long story short. my mom is constantly supporting his family (4 chidlren and wife) to the poitn where mom bought him a house and call.. she did it for him and for her father to live with him.

All the other simblings swear that he doesnt work hard anymore cuz he knows my mom will be ther for him and he gossips about us in Pakistan.. His recent request is to send him $1300.00 so that he can get a visa to kawait..

I think enough is enough my mom kinda agrees but she is afraid of what the Islamic consequences should be…

SO you tell me.. should she help once again… ??? what does the Quran say?

2

Your mom should provide for her brother as much as she is comfortable with and a little more...As soon as it becomes a burden, she should make an excuse...

3

Thanks for taking the time to reply..
but if she knows that he doesnt make use of it.. is it right for her
to give up her hubby's hard earned money?

4

Salam Muniya,

I sympathise with your mother’s situation yaar and I really admire and respect your mother for supporting her brother mashallah through all his tough times.

Its highly unfortunate that your maamoon has chosen to depend on her rather than earn his own money.

I’m not sure what your mother should do Islamically and I can understand she must be emotionally torn right now between all sorts of emotions and factors she must have to consider I am sure, but I think your mother should talk to him frankly about it, after all he is her brother. I would think that would be the right approach. Inshallah what is the best will happen :flower1:

5

Well...your mum should give him as much as she can afford to give him. Sometimes the person just sits there thinking yeah whatever im gone sit here do nada and i'll get money from my sister. Maybe u guys shud give him some money and tell him to start a small business or something ...and that he can't always b depending on you lot....becoz u might have some other problems...

6

well there is a limit of everything i guess.This is a cruel world.U use other ppl.I was just like ur mother.But dekh lena waqt anay per ur mamoo wont help u guys coz now he is asking money when he doesnot actually need it. i guess ur mother shud stop giving him money,coz its in ISLAM that u shud always think about the others better.Ur mother (sorry for this) is not doing rite as he (ur mamoo) is making this a habbit.Ur mother shud lie to him tht u guys dont have money.So tht he works for money himself.
She shud stop giving him money.Dekh lena un ka kya attitude hota hai.
This is a cruel n selfish world!!! i tell u

7

Kassam se the people back home seem to think money grows on trees.

It's good that your mom supported her brother during his hard times and insha'allah God will reward her for that but har cheez ki aik had hoti hai...

...your mom should stop sending him money now, and tell him to stand up on his own feet.

Aap ke maamu kesay mard hain??? bahen ki kamaai khaatay hain, and then gossips about ur family aswell, shame on him.

humaarey gaoun main to log bahen, beti ke ghar se paani tak nahi peetay..

aurat apnay maekah waaloun ke ghar se cheezein leti hai unhain khud nahi khilaati..

8

my dearest brothers and sisters.. the genuiness of all your posts is greatly appreciated.. who says family members are only blodd related…
thank you all :teary3:

Masla abhi bhi wahee kara hai… we are all thinking from our hearts..
we need to find the guiding lines in the Quran. :frowning:

Personally, I think mamoo needs some tough love.. lekin agian we need to follow what our PRophet (PBUH) would have done.

irem we have done this.. so much to the point that we established the business for him but everything seems to go down hill… all he wants to do is leave pakistan.

9

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ~MuNiYa~: *

Masla abhi bhi wahee kara hai... we are all thinking from our hearts..
we need to find the guiding lines in the Quran. :(

Personally, I think mamoo needs some tough love.. lekin agian we need to follow what our PRophet (PBUH) would have done.

[/QUOTE]

Muniya, I sympathize with your mom's situation... I think she had her hand into spoiling her brothers with the intention of helping, but it went wrong and ur uncle had taken advantage of the situation.

You are asking what our prophet hazart muhammed would have done. I actually know a story which goes something like thi: a very poor person came to our prophet (pbuh), said he want to marry but has no money. Prophet Muhammad asks him, "how much money you have", the poor person told him about few coins that he had left, so our prophet said, I want you to go and buy a (kurwahri) with that money and I want you to go out on the forest and start falling trees, collecting wood for fire and sell them over here. .. so the poor person went and did what he was told, after some days he came back and said, thank you so much ....now I have money and I can marry a girl.

So you see islamically the Prophet (pbhu) did not give him money to get married, but told him, how to make money, with the Motto, "help yourself to help yourself out."

[quote]

irem we have done this.. so much to the point that we established the business for him but everything seems to go down hill... all he wants to do is leave pakistan.

[/quote]

So you guys have tried and failed in your mission to help your uncle to settle in pakistan and start a business, it seems that he is not putting effort into getting settled in Pakistan but more keen/interested into finding am 'easy' way out.

Sometimes it is not easy, infact is tough and very hard. I have 2 family members who went outside as labour workers and in the end they did not make the big money as promised.

My advise, if he's really into going outwards for work then he should be man enough to do it with his hands, tell him to get a loan, as you guys are not able to send him the money. Otherwise I think you guys have helped enough already.

10

:hug:

yaar aaj kal har koi yahi chahta hae ke pakistan chor de aur baahar aa jayay…shayad un ko baahar bulwanay se ye masla hal ho jayay..aap log aisa nahee ker sakte kya?

tumhari ammi ne yakeenan pehle baat ki ho gi par i can imagine behen hotay huay unhon ne bas keh dya ho ga lekin shayad final andaaz se na kaha ho aur jab bhee woh maangtay hon ge paisay toh hamesha de deti hon gi…ham aurton ka yahi masla hay yaar..i can understand her situation…shayad kabhee kabhee insaan ko dil pe pathar rakh ke sakhti baratnee parti hay apnay behen bhaiyon ke saath par behnon ke lyay aisa kerna bohot mushkil hota hay…shayad eik baar un ko refuse ker dena chahiyay taakay tumharay maamoon khud se apnay haath paaon maarayn…

shayad doosray khala ya maamoon se ya momani se mashwara kerna chahiyay…

good luck yaar this is really tough situation someone i know was in a similar spot and i saw the misery he had to go thru coz of it inshallah it’ll work out :flower1:

11

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12

Well..

There is such a thing as ........

Tuff Love.

When the loved one needs to learn how to stand on their own Two feet.

Sometimes necessary.

Very Difficult.

A person needs to decide whether the person is truly lacking...and hurting..if so..help.

If one is lazy...and manipulative..and uses.. one needs to use common sense.

Either way decision is hard to make.