The Minaret

The following is a short story (a memoir) I wrote for the local newspaper. I sent it in and I should be hearing back from them by this weekend. If they like it, they’ll publish it in the paper and I’ll get paid (a small sum). I think it turned out pretty good so I thought I’d share.

THE MINARET

My parents took me to the mosque every weekend when I was younger. Unlike most kids my age who felt these trips were a burden, I enjoyed them. I believed I was royalty, and I claimed as my throne the minaret of our mosque. The staircase that led up to the minaret was always wet. The walls and ceiling were constantly dripping due to lack of maintenance. It was impossible not to get my shoes wet, and that was okay because I enjoyed letting the dirty water soak into my socks as I climbed the stairs.

At the first step, I would slam my foot down barbarically and send a wailing echo throughout the tower. Quickly, I would jump to the next step in order to overlap the echoes. Progressing this way up the staircase, I made my own musical from a crying tower, squeaking socks, and wailing steps.

Upon reaching the top, I would fling open the large door and step outside. The floor was small and circular, guarded by a low railing that barely passed above my knees. Overhead, a small dome shaded me from the sun so I would not be bothered by the presence of the light. This was my minaret, the place I came each time my parents thought I was inside praying. Hurriedly, I kicked off my shoes and peeled away my socks. I would fling my legs over the railing and dangle my bare feet over the edge. I sat like this for a long time observing the world from above. My favorite things to watch were the trees. Backs bent low, they would rise and fall with the wind. Their branches pathetically bobbed up and down for my sympathy as if they were beggars. I liked to think they were putting on an act for me. Numerous times I was so engaged in the thought of those trees that I would forget about all the tiny people below.

There were dozens of them gazing up at me from in their miniature cars, pointing their fingers, shaking their heads, sometimes even stopping to yell at me. I did not care. I was above the trees and well above the puny lives that whizzed by in their little cars. On that minaret, I was the ultimate power. This is how I spent my time as miserable believers chose to stay inside and weep to their Lord.

Years later, the ascent up the tower is still familiar. I recognize the howling orchestra, although it is not as dramatic. The door that once led to my freedom does not hold its majestic appearance anymore. I open it with little effort, but cannot move further than the doorway. I cannot say whether those trees would still prostrate or if those people would still stare up at me the way they used to, because fear of a greater being has crept in silently over the past few years and taken over this place. But I can say that the light that shines is still the same as it was many years ago, the same light that never fails to rise every morning and fall each night.

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Re: The Minaret

A very good piece of writting... very well balanced... a job well done for sure :)..

Can I ask you about the metaphorical gestures you used in the article.. particulary the part where you write:

"This is how I spent my time as miserable believers chose to stay inside and weep to their Lord."

and:

"I cannot say whether those trees would still prostrate or if those people would still stare up at me the way they used to, because fear of a greater being has crept in silently over the past few years and taken over this place. But I can say that the light that shines is still the same as it was many years ago, the same light that never fails to rise every morning and fall each night."

Can you elaborate it further for people like us, the connection between the two passages I quoted...

Thanks...

Re: The Minaret

Absolutely awful...just kidding kid, very very nice. If you don't mind the critique (i think this post is better suited in culture btw).

A few lines might need to be reworked: Backs bent low, they would rise and fall with the wind. I see what you are trying to convey, but the sentence doesn't sound right..?

Re: The Minaret

The first few paragraphs are my personal reflection of the minaret as I was a kid. I was egocentric (as children tend to be) and did not truly have faith in God. ("I was above the trees and well above the puny lives that whizzed by in their little cars. On that minaret, I was the ultimate power. This is how I spent my time as miserable believers chose to stay inside and weep to their Lord.)

The last paragraph goes to say that over the years, I have developed faith in God ("I cannot say whether those trees would still prostrate or if those people would still stare up at me the way they used to, because fear of a greater being has crept in silently over the past few years and taken over this place.") "Fear of a greater being" is the fear of God that I now have, which is keeping me from sitting on the minaret and thinking the same thoughts as I used to.

Light symbolizes belief. As a child, I did not want to be in the light and I felt it was a burden/bother. I paid no attention to the light. ("Overhead, a small dome shaded me from the sun so I would not be bothered by the presence of the light.") Then, the last line shows how the light is now the one thing that I am certain about (unlike whether the trees will still prostrate or the people still look up).("But I can say that the light that shines is still the same as it was many years ago, the same light that never fails to rise every morning and fall each night."

Zakk - Oh yea you're right. If you look at the sentence's grammer I think it makes it sound like the backs of the trees are doing the action. =\ Okay but I already emailed the story to the guy. I think I'll email him and ask him to change it if the editors haven't already. Thanks man.

Re: The Minaret

^ i loved how you portrayed the change in perspective.its very good phatima and i think they probably would publish it.

Re: The Minaret

Thankyou :)

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beautiful explanation... that's what I thought but was not sure...

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:)

Re: The Minaret

very nice fatima. :)

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Gracias! I actually posted it because you asked, remember in the cafe?

Re: The Minaret

yes, :),

its a very nice article.

Re: The Minaret

I knew it, I just knew, I absolutely knew it...U rock gurl, but hey wait a minute, my favorite is trance...U trance gurl...U trance alllllllllllllll da way.

This is my house...
This is ur house...
This is my house...

^^ If you cannot understand what I just wrote, ask sharaabi, he would be cracking up when he hears this...:D

Re: The Minaret

LOL no I didn’t understand it at all but then again I hardly ever your posts lol I think you are crazy :smack:

Re: The Minaret

Im not crazy, that is an insult...:p

Im insane, totally, absolutely, definitely insane.

Re: The Minaret

Great job phati.:k:

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I like your coming of “age” story Phati! Very nicely done :k:

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wow…very nice fatty…

atlast we see the smart and intelligent fatty…dat was hidden bhind da funy joker..:cb:

Re: The Minaret

gracias :blush: