As I sit in my living room listening to the great song by Mike and Mechanics called ‘The Living Years’, memories of my youth come flooding back. The rebellious nature, no worries about the future, not a care in the world about the sacrifices my parents were making to give us a good start in life.
How many times, whilst both my parents were alive, did I say to them ‘I love you’ or ‘thank you’? All their sacrifices had been taken for granted.
No matter how much I cry or ask for forgiveness in their absence, the feeling of guilt never goes away. Why do I keep listening to this song? How many times have I said I will throw this CD away?
I have my beautiful 2-month-old baby in my arms, whilst my 2-year old plays with his toys in the far corner, I think and pray, please god let there be no misunderstandings about the burden of expectations on their shoulders, as there is none. Give them strength and the courage to speak their mind.
As the lyrics so poignantly say:
‘Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye’
Yeah man, life is short and one must make every effort to enjoy every moment of it. Disagreements with parents are not something to feel sad about. Parents expect that kids will have their own minds, so don’t let that bother you. Parents love their kids unconditionally. I cant tell you how many times I feel like smacking the crap out of my kids (or how many times my parents felt doing the same to me), but the end result is always unconditional love.
Enjoy your kids while they are still young. Before you know it they will be telling you what to do!
PS. Parents do not expect gratitude in return from their kids for the things they do. Their biggest thankfulness is seeing their kids get ahead and grow up to be good people. And quite honestly, no gratitude is big enough for what they do.
Very interesting thread I found when I was searching the forums, which got me thinking. Saying ‘I love you’ to your parents in our culture is very difficult - well for boys anyway, but I think parents do know that their kids love them through their actions, rather than through words. While as you get older you (the child) realise more and more how much your parent's really loved you especially when you appreciate all that they have given you. :)
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*Originally posted by Malik73: *
Very interesting thread I found when I was searching the forums, which got me thinking. Saying ‘I love you’ to your parents in our culture is very difficult - well for boys anyway, but I think parents do know that their kids love them through their actions, rather than through words. While as you get older you (the child) realise more and more how much your parent's really loved you especially when you appreciate all that they have given you. :)
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It certainly does make you think about the sacrifices our parents went through in the early years, I for one will always appreciate and respect my parents for this.
very touching thread :( makes me wanna cry cos its made me think i dont when the last time was that i told my dad i love him, there just so much misunderstanding that u forget about everything else and think about all the problems ur facing. and
i think it does have something to do with our culture Malik, and its not gender specific either. its just one of those "unspoken things", which nobody mentions.
May Allah bless us all and gather us in paradise.
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*Originally posted by aysha: *
very touching thread :( makes me wanna cry cos its made me think i dont when the last time was that i told my dad i love him, there just so much misunderstanding that u forget about everything else and think about all the problems ur facing
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Aysha, its about making your parents aware that you care for them and are grateful for what they done for you, you dont need to specifically say that in words... :-)
2b: this is the best thread you have ever put up. It is absolutely true. I lost my father seven years ago and I wish everyday if I could say certain things that didn’t back then. :k: