I've read an article that said that some parents do have a favorite child and that the children can guess correctly who the favorite is.......and some of these parents have even admitted to having a favorite.
^I don't know how true the article is.................and it can't speak for ALL parents.
Sometimes what we think of "favoritism" is really just the parent's way of accommodating to the child's needs. Each child is different...........has different needs........and cannot be treated the same as another child. "Fair" DOES NOT always mean "Equal." For example......it would actually be unfair to have equal expectations of a student that is bright and one that has a learning disability. I'm not saying that the person in question has any sort of disability. Parent can treat children differently based upon their temperaments as well.
Perhaps the reader's parents felt that she was more stronger and independent compared to her siblings....maybe they had greater trust in her. Maybe they felt that the other children were more needy/dependent and required more attention.
She might think that life was easy for the her eldest sibling......but maybe the reality is different. It's not surprising that the eldest sibling developed faster. Obviously, when you're the oldest ......you will graduate first, drive the car first, experience life's various phases first. WHY? Because you're the eldest..........and it's not your fault that Mommy and Daddy had you first. The reader needs to separate issues that can be controlled and those that can't. She can't harbor a grudge toward her older sister for being born first and experiencing things earlier than her. That is a given.
I've also read that many times the "favored" child is the one that is under sooooooooo much stress from all the expectations the parents have of him/her. Perhaps her sister (even though she didn't show it) was under constant pressure to "do well" from her parents. That's not a healthy situation to be in. ** Sometimes not being under the spot light allows you greater amount of freedom and breathing room. **So, you feel that your sister is prettier. Looks are subjective and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Perhaps some people might find HER prettier than the older sister. And your sister can't control the way that she looks.........she's born with the face and body she has.......and she's doing nothing wrong by maintaining herself. So, she gets better grades than you. Everyone's mind works differently.....everyone has different studying habits. Perhaps her study habits were more effective. So, she had good manners. Everyone has a different personality. Some people are more extroverted......others are introverted. Some are mild-mannered.....others are loud and brash. Some are conscious of the way others view them and make the effort to behave properly.............and others are comfortable in their own skin and don't want to change themselves. Everyone is different. There's nothing wrong in recognizing positive qualities in others and trying to emulate them....but one shouldn't have to compromise their entire personality. The reader needs to assess whether her negative emotions toward her sister are valid.
Perhaps Dad was a "people pleaser" and the kind of person who would NEVER stand up for anyone because conflicts made him uncomfortable. Maybe mom saw much of her own self in the older siblings and pressured them to succeed. Maybe the parents' demands for success and criticism are simply a reflection of their own insecurities. Parents are not perfect.
Her parents might have hurt her.........but it's possible that she's been spared a lot of grief from their frequent attention as well such as the pressure of being under the spot light all the time.
They're not perfect........but they've shaped her into the individual that she is today. A stone gets polished to smoothness with the rough waters and harsh weather that it encounters. Her parents....have contributed to her development and knowledge. She now knows the importance of giving attention to all of one's children. Perhaps her experience will enable her to become a better mother. Perhaps her experience has taught her to become more independent.......to have a tougher skin. Many times, our negative experiences teach us more than our positive ones. In spite of her past hurts......if she reflects over issues.......she might even be able to thank her parents for making her stronger/better/wiser in some ways.
She has one set of parents......they're irreplaceable. She can choose to either dwell on the negative all her life......or also try to appreciate the positive. She can even try to forgive them because all humans, including herself, are imperfect and have hurt others. A well-known psychologist says that healthy love does not necessarily have to come only from parents. If your parents were unable to give you the love that you needed...........then don't be so dependent upon them.........reflect over the people who do give you the love and support you need such as your spouse, siblings, children, friends, etc. Life will not end just because one or two people couldn't fully meet your emotional needs.