Now don’t claim that you’re not one, cuz that’d be hypocrisy. Whether we admit it to ourselves or not, we all say one thing and do another, at least to some extent.
So maybe list at least one instance/habit/whatever where your double standards are pretty obvious.
I’ll start: I hate uncouth, swear-laden talk when someone else is doing it, but I call it cathartic when I am at it! 
Re: The hypocrite in you!
I yell and curse at all drivers that try and cut in front of me, while doing the same to others.
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I'll start: I hate uncouth, swear-laden talk when someone else is doing it, but I call it cathartic when I am at it! :D
so are you by yourself at that time? .. cause that is different.
I know that standards of morality are set at "you are what you are when you are alone" .. but I dont consider it hypocrisy if I put my best effort to present my good side to people.
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i call others paindu.......but i am one too :D
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Here is my faith.
We can NEVER EVER be sure about if we are hypocrite or not or even if we have any traits of being hypocrite such as, lying and not fullfilling promises themselves are considered as a sign of hypocrisy, which means a hypocrite will always do the above but a person who does the above two may or may not be a hypocrite - only Allah knows best.
However, it is extremely a sadful thing to point fingers at others calling them a hypocrite and will never be liked by Almighty because our religion teaches us that if one accusses other of being a hypocrite then, between those two, one is definitely a hypcorite - And if the one who is accused is not then .. you know
One more point, when even sahaba kiram (ra) were always worried about themselves that God Forbid they may be hypocrite, how sure we can be about our ownselves? Are we better than them? And on top of that, accussing others?
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^ ...because joking around is too mainstream
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And getting the topic is done to death.
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Word
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Opps!
Sorry if I jinxed the topic :( Ignore me and carry on please. :(
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i keep telling my younger siblings cousins to put in their best efforts and not freak out near exams or procrastinate and I do that myself ALL the time 
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Dislike when men are acting all crazy for a female celebrity, but its a different story when I am drooling over male celebrities. 
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I tell people to eat healthy while I have a nice big bar of chocolate in my gob :(
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YES.
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A hypocrite in my opinion does not recognise his or her own hypocrisy ... the moment you can mention a contradiction in your own habits is the moment you cease being a hypocrite ... Since the Sahabah worried about being hypocrites they were deemed as not so ... Perhaps those who do not ever question themselves are prone to this more than others ... So for all the contradictory things people have mentioned above about themselves, I don't think they are truly hypocritical. It is one thing doing other than you believe you should, but another thing entirely in having a different set of beliefs for others and another set of beliefs for yourself ...
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A hypocrite in my opinion does not recognise his or her own hypocrisy ... the moment you can mention a contradiction in your own habits is the moment you cease being a hypocrite ... Since the Sahabah worried about being hypocrites they were deemed as not so ... Perhaps those who do not ever question themselves are prone to this more than others ... So for all the contradictory things people have mentioned above about themselves, I don't think they are truly hypocritical. It is one thing doing other than you believe you should, but another thing entirely in having a different set of beliefs for others and another set of beliefs for yourself ...
Interesting perspective. I thought people who do not do anything about the discrepancy in what they think is right and what they actually do are hypocrites. You can't deny that we are all aware of hypocrisy in our behaviors to some extent, some more than others. Some readily acknowledge it while others take time to come to terms with it.
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A hypocrite in my opinion does not recognise his or her own hypocrisy ... the moment you can mention a contradiction in your own habits is the moment you cease being a hypocrite ... Since the Sahabah worried about being hypocrites they were deemed as not so ... Perhaps those who do not ever question themselves are prone to this more than others ... So for all the contradictory things people have mentioned above about themselves, I don't think they are truly hypocritical. It is one thing doing other than you believe you should, but another thing entirely in having a different set of beliefs for others and another set of beliefs for yourself ...
I like the perspective but then, where do you put the ayah 14 of Surah Qiyama in this context that states like: "Nay, human being is self aware of his/her nafs"?
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Peace Jinx
Just like there are several levels of shirk there are several layers of hypocrisy … but I’ll explain that later … first about that ayat … I have a different translation that is “Rather, man, against himself, will be a witness” …(also is a witness) … the context of this verse is in verse 5 of the same Surah … “But man desires to continue in sin” … and the express witness we have against ourselves is exactly what is being done here … We know we should be doing some things but yet “through desiring sin” we continue doing what we know we should not … And the witness part of this relates to the Day of Judgement in the specific sense, but in the general sense that we aught to know better … however this verse does not mention the term hypocrite at all, but rather includes humans in the general sense.
However if you read verses 8 to 10 from Surah Baqarah - Surah Al-Baqarah - 8-10 - Quran.com you will see that the definition of the hypocrite is given there, straight after the definition of the kafir which is after the definition of the believer … so the hypocrite is a person who sets to deceive but ends up deceiving themselves and their heart is in a state of disease - this disease is to be in a state of internal imbalance which stems from them being unable to put the standards they hold for others on to themselves …
Also read Surah Al-Mutataffifin Verses 1 to 4 … Surat Al-Mutaffifin - The Noble Qur’an - ??? ???
Here you will see that this practice for having a different standard for oneself and another for others is part and parcel to this disease of the heart.
This comes on to the discussion of hypocrite types and levels …
Everyone violates their own code of conduct to some extent, or rather they will have measures in place when violation of that code is allowed … Now if a hungry person in a desert eats pork there is no sin on him, but has he violated a code? Debatable! Concessions are hence code breaking validating measures and can be construed as a type of hypocrisy …
Then we have those people who through a lapse or some weakness go against their code
Then we have those people who have different standards and amongst this type the worst is the one who pretends to be a Muslim but is in fact an evil enemy against Islam and he knows it.
The safe bet is to continue questioning ourselves and being guilty and rectifying this state - and doing these things is nothing but doing tassuwwuf (being a sufi) …
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Thanks psyah for a detailed reply. I understand that there are acts of hypocrisy where one does not recognise it; however, the ayah I referred to talked about every person which includes hypocrite. Your reference about ayah 8-10 of surah baqarah mention that "the hypocrite is a person who sets to deceive". Does it mean that a hypocrite knows what he is doing?
Regarding the actual translation of ayah 14 of Surah Qiyamah, indeed, most translations are that Man is a witness against himself. I have memorized this surah by repeatedly listening to the tilawah of Fahd Al Kanderi because not only it is a powerful surah but a scary one as well that can help you keep on the path. It's very difficult to keep oneself on the path and we are very weak. May Allah make us steadfast on the right path. However, looking at the words used in the ayah, the literal translation does look like that insan has baseera (knowledge) of his nafs, and this is also what I heard from a lecture by Late Israr Ahmed. And Allah knows best.
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Cant think of notn.
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I think we all are hypocrites, one way or the other. May be it needs a real, real courage for someone not to be. But you dont need much to admit that you are one. So yes, I've it somewhat too :)