The holiday etiquettes

Lifestyle Parenting, Household Affairs and Cuisine corner
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Do you send gifts to your children’s teachers, docs, day care workers, baby sitters etc? If yes, what’s the appropriate amount you spend on it? And also do you address it to the person or everyone?

For now, the only person we have called twenty times is my babys doc and she has actually called back to follow up on him n has been great so we sent her n the staff a box of fresh warm baked cookies..I didn’t want to come across awkward n send it to her only n also rest are great too n absolutely adore the baby.. I wonder if we continue doi g thievery year,the number of people n gifts will keep increasing.. How do you manage that?

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Re: The holiday etiquettes

I have 2 co-workers who have kids...and from what I see....they usually get a card and a little gift for the day care workers (in one case).....and teachers (in the 2nd case). The "gift" they give is $10-$15 gift cards to Starbucks. This way....they can get several people "done" well under $100. They don't give anything to to doctors...but I suppose a card and a $15 GC wouldn't hurt.

But as you already wrote....I know other people who send home baked goods (cookies, chocolates, brownies etc) too (my fiance gets TONS of this from his co-workers).....and this definately keeps the cost down.

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Paheli..I ordered cookies, who has time with newborn to bake them?:D They deliver fresh hot cookies locally!

I thought about gc but I couldn't think about the appropriate amount for the doc...thanks for sharing yourvuews. :)

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Re: The holiday etiquettes

one of my freinds is a tutor for autistic kids...she got a $50 gift card from Victorias Secret from one of her parents. :D

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I am glad you raised this topic as I wanted to raise a similar topic along the same lines.

The first few months my son was in daycare, he received a lot of gifts. First Xmas and then Valentine's Day. Both times, I didn't realize I was supposed to give something too for the other kids and both times, the parents of the other kids gave gifts to all the kids. I felt really bad cause my kid didn't give out any gifts but came home with presents. So now I make it a point to give out gifts/treats on a regular basis (xmas, valentine's day, easter, halloween and individual birthdays are the main ones throughout the year). The only reason these are emphasized is cause Sonu's sitter emphasizes these days and they all make crafts related to these days.

She's also Muslim and takes a day off for Eid. So I make sure to give out treats on Eid as well even though this is the one holiday where the other parents don't - cause they have no idea what Eid is all about. It is up to us to educate others and show them that we have a special holiday too! :)

Today, I gave his sitter a tin of Lindor chocolates. The kids all got a Mr. Men activity books and I printed out photos from Sonu's birthday party that had all of them in it for each parent.

Giving gifts to the caregiver is up to you. Sonu's sitter takes amazing care of him while I am at work. For her, my mom loves to cook and feed people, so she is always sending food over. I get her little things throughout the year (like on the first day of Ramadan, Eid, new year and whenever you feel like it). My mom intends on sending a pateeli of biryani over to the sitter tomorrow!

For the quality and quantity of gifts .... this is a tough one. I tend to go overboard and I like to give .... but I also look for deals and bargains for good quality items. note, he is in a registered home daycare so giving out gifts/treats to 5 kids is manageable compared to giving out gifts/treats to 15 kids!

Some parents don't do that and prefer to get stuff from the dollar store. Some parents like to give a personal touch and bake cookies/cupcakes instead, like you have. Each parent is different and there is no right/wrong. Just do what you feel is right for you given your nature and personality.

Personally, I never gave his doctor or any of the nurses who came to my house regularly afterwards anything. I didn't realize, at the time, that I was supposed to give them something. I had too much going on anyway back then.

A friend of mine has her child in Montessori daycare and she always gives his caregivers (3 of them) perfume gift sets. Her rationale is that the nicer the gift, the better they will treat her child ....

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Re: The holiday etiquettes

LOL gemini…well they’re still “home baked” cookies…just not baked in YOUR home… :halo:

Even though I’m not a parent myself…I have quite a few friends who had kids along with all my co-workers. My best friend also owns a montessori school and thanks to my fiance’s “circle”…I know several pediatricians. And all this “gift giving” and amount really depends on your budget and what you can comfortably give. If you can afford to give $50 GC…then go ahead. But if you have several people go give to and are more comfortable giving a $15 GC…then there’s nothing wrong with that either.

My best friend gets baked goods and small gifts like the Starbucks GC or even little items from the dollar store…and she also has some parents who give her nice perfume sets (I remember last year someone gave her a “Angel” perfume set!) and other more pricy items. It doesn’t bother her either way. She’s has an idea of the financial “status” of the kids and doesn’t have any “expectations”. She’s just happy they take the time out to show her appreciation. And the few pediatricians I know…they also gets baked stuff along with cards. At my fiance’s hospital…the patient families also usually bring baked goods for the docs and nurses around this time. And once again… at least among the ones I know of…I’ve never heard a “complaint”.

Most really just want to know they’re appreciated. The $$$ part isn’t a huge deal in my humble opinion. :slight_smile:

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Re: The holiday etiquettes

A holiday gift for a teacher,daycare provider,babysitter...yes..!

For their doctor...hmmm,not sure.Ethically doctors are not supposed to take any gifts from patients.My father is a pediatrician(based in Pakistan) and all my life I have seen patients getting him a cake or sweets on Eid.A few times he also got a birthday gift (not sure how they found out his DOB exactly).Although he never refused the gifts so as to not hurt the feelings,but he preferred not getting them.
Then there were times when it was a patient's birthday or some sort of academic achievement and the parents bought a cake/sweets.That he has always found ok.
I am not sure how these things work here,but it was just something I had seen so thought I'd share...:)

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Re: The holiday etiquettes

Oh wow mehnaz...good to know this!

My only problem is the nice perfume set.. See I don't want the care directly related to the amou t..that's why I was wondering about the range across the board..I will not wNt to go to the doc or day care provider who treats children different based on the gift they receive from the parents...see my point?

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^ yeah I know, but a lot of parents think this way. I think if you want your child to be treated well, it's better to join the parent-teacher school board and be active at the child's school so that the teacher is able to get to know the parents better ....

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Holiday gift for the teacher, day care provider etc. yes, others no. This year I was planning on a $25 gift card for target to Misbah's teacher but then she wants to buy a gift herself.

I do send out an email to my friends, often personally.

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Paheli...hey if food poisoning happens, they are not from My kitchen. :D (j/k)

Now I want to have a day care..I had no idea they get all these gifts and biryani too ( mehazs reply)

Chipsy.. I have never given any gifts to the doc before,.she is our family doctor past 3 years but during pregnancy, and after babys birth she has been very kind n supportive..I mean she saw e on Sunday for my mastitis issue n called to check up if baby was taking formula n adjusting well while I was away for surgery..I think she deserved cookies. I took baby in for cold y'day n everyone in the office was raving about cookies so I guess it wasn't a bad gesture..I jut wasn't sure if it was acceptable n if yes, what do people do!

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I personally love home made cards that my kids make me. Holiday gifts are usually chocolates, end of year gifts are usually jewellery or gift cards.

I also keep all the cards with personalised messages from the parents, just a simple 'thank you' is very much appreciated.

I have noticed that the kids love it when I open their presents cos they all try and get me my 'fav' thing. Last year one of the girls bought me a mini pink travel hair dryer, she said 'cos you like your hair' That made me smile a lot!

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Re: The holiday etiquettes

great thread!
as a doc, getting just a simple thank you card is just so appreciated! ....
mostly we receive what everyone else has said ... baked goods (cookies, cupcakes) ... and over the years .... lasagnas, coffee, donuts, fruit platters/baskets, flowers, cards, chocolates.
Have never gotten a gift card.

for my staff and probably babysitters/daycare in future ... i shall likely get things like .... silk scarves, brooches, miniature decorative items .. like a bonsi tree/bamboo plant, novelty/decorative soaps, dried nuts fruit baskets, teas/coffee baskets ... all of these things come in a wide range of price points and can be pkged/presented nicely.

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Thanks milly n ehle..it's good to have thevother sides perspective too! And thanks for sharing great ideas. :)