The Queen The Queen’s modus ope***** is imperious perfectionist, and she doesn’t suffer fools. Or squeaky chairs. Or the smell of sandwiches. You have to learn the Queen’s foibles off by heart, or it’s off with your head and down the job centre. A Good Queen will get you hooked because she is so hard to please you just can’t help yourself from trying. A Bad Queen (ie, not talented enough to pull it off) makes you want to single-handedly start the revolution. Oh, boy. I had a BQ who made me carry her handbag to her Porsche and then follow in her slipstream in my specially provided Mini. She had a cook called “Cook” and a nanny called “Nanny”. I was her PA, but that didn’t have the same ring as Us and Them, so I had no name at all. (Another BQ forced a colleague to adopt an alternative name at work to avoid confusion with the other Henriettas.) The good news is, Good Queens don’t do petty politics: they have bigger fish to fry.
**The Head Girl **This boss wields her power like the cool school prefect. She gives you a lift home in her Karmann Ghia (wow!). She takes you out to lunch and talks to you about your ambitions (cool!). She demands 100% puppy-like loyalty, and in return passes on the jacket that no longer works for her, and possibly the boyfriend. You copy her look and leadership style, and she moulds you in her own image with a touch of maternal pride. (I had one who bundled me off to an eczema doctor at her own expense.) The downside is they have favourites and tend to freeze out those who bore them — but, hey.
The Only Woman in a Man’s World People think the nightmare female boss is the one who acts like a bloke. If only. The OWIAMW believes she is a far, far better thing — a woman who uniquely combines the best of both sexes by being a) tough and driven, and b) irresistibly feminine, with her level gaze and fetching toplets. This boss imagines she is causing a collective erection every time she walks in the room (she’s not interested in the reaction she creates among the female staff; if she had her way, there wouldn’t be any). Plus, she wants everyone to have the same experience clawing their way to the top that she did. Nobody leaves before she does (she’s the one who schedules late meetings on Friday and calls three days after you have given birth, to talk strategy).
Now i have suddenly found myself working with The Headgirl type of boss. I acknowledge that i am not most charming of the men nor a sweet talker. And all of sudden i have been relegated from well respected and praised to group of people who are like as if they dont exist. While those who are entertaining and charming are heaping the benefits.