The Guys’ Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys’ side of the story. (I must admit, it’s pretty
good.) We always hear “the rules” from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note… these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE!
Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the
tides.
Let it be.
Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days..
If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Don’t ask us to do something and then tell us how you want it done.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like
nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer
you don’t want to hear.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine…Really.
Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
trucks.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know
men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
==============
I got this in email, but many things mentioned here strike me so sharing with guppies and open for discussion.
caution: Some Guppans may feel some inner traits are exposed.
these rules are so obvious what is the need to write them down Shah Kills? it's just the way life is...na? do you really mean most women ignore them?...or men only likes women they can complain about? so they need to write such stuff down...I really wonder...
I never understood why girls complain… how hard is it to put a toilet seat down? My bro wud leave it up but even in the middle of the night in absolute dark, I was able to put it down. I can proudly say I have never ever ever fell in
Very stereotypical. For example, peach is a good color and I take directions from Google or Mapquest.
Some others are true though, like shopping not being a sport, you have enough clothes and learn to hear the truth if you are going to ask the questions.
not only is shopping a sport but it is also a very mentally challenging activity.......for the more well-dressed among us ofcourse.... if u do enough of it....
My bro wud leave it up but even in the middle of the night in absolute dark, I was able to put it down. I can proudly say I have never ever ever fell in 
j/k