Operator : “Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your…”
Customer: “Heloo, can I order..”
Operator : “Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?”
Customer: “It’s eh…, hold on…6102049998-45-54610”
Operator : “OK… you’re… Mr Singh and you’re
calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 40942366, your office 76452302 and
your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?”
Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?”
Operator : “We are connected to the system Sir”
Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza…”
Operator : “That’s not a good idea Sir”
Customer: “How come?”
Operator : “According to your medical records, you
have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir”
Customer: “What?.. What do you recommend then?”
Operator : “Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You’ll like it”
Customer: “How do you know for sure?”
Operator : “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular
Hokkien Dishes” from the National Library last week Sir”
Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family size
ones then, how much will that cost?”
Operator : “That should be enough for your family of
10, Sir. The total is $49.99”
Customer: “Can I pay by credit card?”
Operator : “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir.
Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your
bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That’s not
including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.”
Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood
ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives”
Operator : “You can’t Sir. Based on the records,
you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today”
Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have
the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?”
Operator : “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t
wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle…”
Customer: " Wat!"
Operator : “According to the details in system , you
own a Scooter,…registration number 1123…”
Customer: " *'!^ %^**%^I7"
Operator : “Better watch your language Sir. Remember
on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive
language on a policeman… ?”
Customer: [Speechless]
Operator : “Is there anything else Sir?”
Customer: “Nothing… by the way… aren’t you giving
me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?”
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your
records you’re also diabetic… "